I'm lost with out a trace looks like I'm loosing the race sorry for taking up space I'm not man enough to face the dark evil demons within me  I don't think i can be loved to ****** up in the head and I'm already half brain dead people say i say too much but i think i say not  enough life is to rough but i aint that tuff so to deal with my problems i cut or use drugs no one taught me coping skills to deal with sorrow so i won't be alive tomorrow and i sigh cause i know I'm lying i will be here wishing i was dying sorry for being alive i know you despise me i am just lost in my maze i call a mind and i feel my sanity slowly fading as if someone were erasing me like a drawing and all i need is for some one to say I'm worth it not worthless )=

i feel the cold steel of the blade as i drag it across my skin i drank 5 bottles of gin so i would be able to cut to the bone i know I'm a bad man thats why I'm going to hell this depression was a trip and my suicide is where i landed i can't even look at my right hand its too ****** and scared up people keep telling me to keep my chin up well it fell and now I'm stuck in a well called depression and it turns into most of my aggression i aint trying to give you a bad impression of me or who i am I'm just stating facts and to all these **** that put me down i hope your happy now cause by tomorrow I'm gonna be in the ground i already lost everything that i love what is left for you to take  besides my sanity but thats been gone for years nobody knows how many tears I've shed how many drops of blood I've bled and all i want is some one who cares not some phony doctor that keeps shoving pills my way most people who know me are probably wishing this was my last day on this earth I've wanted to die since birth no one knows my curse and then on top of all the ******* people try to say oh it will get better they say stop standing in the cold it doesn't make you look brave or bold my only reply is I've got frost bite on my heart and now my whole world is falling apart all i want is some one who cares is there anybody out there

im insane so **** me now put me out of my misery so i can smile just for a while ik things will never really be ok so stop caring for me thats not what i want i want some one to **** me so i can really be at peace idc where I'm going as long as i get there I'm living on pills and there not even giving me thrills so why should i live i don't want to any more I'm going fast cause i took a whole bottle of pills didn't even look at the name just took them all and washed it down with gin i don't give a **** about all the people laughing now all i see is a light and its saying you don't have to fight anymore just be at ease be at peace and guess what I'm dead (((((======

loving you as you hate me what went wrong how did we get into this tragic ending we thought it would last forever but we weren't that lucky I'm sorry i cursed you by loving you I'm sorry i made you hate me ik you will never feel the same way you once did so i decided to slit my wrist in the end we knew this was coming but we didn't want to admit it until it actually came to be I'm sorry you had to see me I'm sorry i came back into your life but i hope i make you happy cause I'm ending mine with a knife just stay till i bleed to death you can leave once you hear my last breath or don't come at all but they will be cleaning my brains off the wall

I guess I'm dying cause all my friends and family are crying but at the same time I'm happy idk why but its good someone other then me is beginning to cry I'm sorry i told you all these lies this is all i can say on my death bed i haven't said enough but idc anymore cause I'm alive right now and i don't give a **** what people are thinking or saying because I'm finally at peace with my self and i don't have any more mental anger ik now things in the past weren't my fault I'm sorry i treated you like **** I'm sorry i couldn't cope with myself and I'm mainly sorry i hurt you i can probably name a hundred people i have hurt physically and verbally and mentally I'm sorry i just hate myself not you and if your reading this i hope you know I'm getting my own consequents

give me the gun and the bullet  I'll put it up to my head and pull it cause its suicide day and I'm the main performer in this parade scratch the gun give me a blade so i can slit my throat or my wrist isn't this wonderful life so bliss just kiss me at my funeral cause i won't live another day I won't make it through the night I'm using all my might I'm tired of putting up a fight easing my pain with zanies and gin I just wanna sleep so give me all the pills i'll take the whole bottles just for thrills what why you sad is it because I'm bad just give me another pill i bet you will thats how you try to save me not with love just with drugs the old me died he od on all these a.d.h.d medications i feel like its me against the world why me i just don't want to see i just want to die cause when i look into the mirror i see a brain washed teen with issues so **** me slowly cause the pills make me feel numb so i just want to feel anything even pain cause I'm insane so take out my brain cause i don't need it cause i go through my day like zombie just floating through the day this is how the world made me no one will cry when i die just cheer and shout that I'm out of this world so idc anymore cause I'm all ready dead can't you see my slit wrist and the bullet in my head

why am i so numb all the lies can't reach me any more I'm so lost that i don't want to be found i can't hear what your saying because I'm blocking out everyone and the sound goes in one ear out the other and it dose not matter any way cause theres nothing left to say I'm too far gone for any one to help me so stop talking and listen for sound of my pain because I'm insane its ok don't be afraid of me just hold me one last time so i can be actually fine i hate myself but you love me its crazy what world we live in we are so different yes so alike its just a sick memory i have you hate me yet you love me its ****** up and i know I'm going to hell so **** it i want everyone to hate me I'm so sick of pity i don't want you to love me hate me and be safe you i do love you but I'm the grenade in your hand that your hesitating to throw so you just let go and I'm gone so don't feel pain I'm not coming back not now not ever again just let me fall i don't want you to feel pain you know i will put a bullet in my brain for you but you still just use me and no love is shed but my blood has been blead i now I'm going to cut deeper than before down the road and i won't come back maybe then you will miss me you never even try to kiss me you just throw mental torment my way as wicked as you are you beautiful to me but all you see in me is something you can take and take till I'm all used up and more and more pain i receive i gone no more me I'm out of **** to be taken so go find someone else you can use

im a lier
a guy who sets fires
hopes for love
and prays for death
hope this poem is my last words
and i hope this wonderful life to
finally meet is end maybe i will defend this life one more time or i will just end it with a knife i know I'm not perfect just stop pointing out my flaws i wish i could lock my jaws so i would stop saying stupid **** i hate this life why god you put me in these shoes people have no idea how many drugs i abused

you really think I'm ok don't you and they call me sick are you smoking crack can't you see the slits on my wrist but I'm fine every things all right are you sure i can make it through the night i don't want to fight but at the same time i do i don't know whats wrong with me but i sure as hell know whats wrong with you can't you see I'm slowly bleeding out on the floor are you sure every things all right but I'm dying tonight because every days a fight and I'm using all my might and i had enough pain to last forever and i don't want to feel this way any more i don't want to feel at all good bye this is the end of my life so good bye