why do you cheat why do you lie I'm the only one who ever treated you right and i stay up all night trying to figure out why......... why people who see me still standing next to you ask me if I'm insane or just plain stupid and i say neither i say I'm in love and i can never leave she is the only reason i can breath and idc the consequences even death i could pay that price in a second i have nothing to loose I'm sorry jade but i can't stop drinking the ***** i will stop when you stop.

i actually believe in death do us part but her apparently not idc I'm here waisting air **** I'm ready to slit my ******* wrist she would ******* get off on watching me die sadly i sigh because she knows theirs nothing left for me here so i wither away and die this ***** is like a parasite digging her way into my mind slowly ripping the pieces of sanity i have left and that for isn't enough i wish i would have said ******* when she dumped me then wanted me back i wish i had a ******* heart attack i wish the pain would end me already let me die

my life has slipped away i wish i had more to say but i just hold it it all in and thats what killed me i am too scared to confess how i feel i don't know why though i love them but i am scared how i effect the people i care about but who am i suppose to vent to a cheating girl or a friend who tells her over and over how he loves her and i am no good and how he cares and i don't who am i suppose to turn to i have nobody i can't trust anyone be cause they go and run and gossip and i have no idea what to do anymore i don't understand why i feel like a monster when i know I'm not the one doing wrong please someone end this nightmare end it please

i have been deceived betrayed stabbed in my back and now all i do is look over my shoulder making sure no one their to hurt me who can i trust i was in pain but now I'm ****** and my blood lust is surging and I'm thirsting for a fight so stay away i know i will win so don't even tempt me once you loose my trust i will never look at you the same.

as i lay here crying dying sighing ready to leave you nothing left to keep me here i hear you whispering the mental torture in my ear wanting me to hear wanting me to feel pain wanting me to die I'm sorry for disappointing but I'm gunna stay alive find someone else you can hurt because no one can endure the suffering you cause I'm suprized I'm still alive after how long i endured your pain i will be honest it drove me insane but it was easy to get through because i don't have a brain please let me leave find someone else to drown in your misery please let me be i can't love you anymore I've tried I'm sorry but u killed me and i have  died

your love is cold as my blade you just walked away letting me drown in my misery how could you see when you don't even love me oh god why can't i walk away from her I'm paralyzed open your eyes and see that she will never love you who would your a disgusting beast who lives inside of me no one could ever control you no one will ever hold you no one will ever love you like she dose she's my drug and i need a fix just her looking at me being in the same room makes me high as a kite but as the same time it sends me down crashing to the ground with a pound everyday i try to walk away but she inside my mind hiding from my judgment of right or wrong and all i can do is sigh because ik this is my fate no use in trying to escape.

i keep falling down and i am praying for somebody to save me but who would wanna help me who would wanna save me I'm am the monster that is pushed away hated feared but in the end i rip my self apart and deny it and hide it but I'm done trying to live a life that dose not work so keep pushing me away because one day you will never get me back cause i will let my insanity in and you will never see ethan again because that part of my mind will be dead and no love will ever come from me again just pain and misery i wish you could see the bad part of me the part that hides in the dark absess i call a mind because my mind is something only see in their nightmares even god knows better then to look in my ****** up head even the devil is afraid of me god why won't this mental torment let me be but I'm not that lucky so run away from me or see me in the middle of my insanity

my mind is screaming as loud as thunder cracking throughout the sky as i lay i my bed wishing to die no matter how many times I pray i wish i cry no matter how many cuts their are on my wrist my mind still screams at me from across the room its funny all the voices in my ****** up head it feels like their is thousands of eyes staring at me when I'm the only one in the room i can feel it the end my doom.

Twitching like a fein
Scratching repeatedly
I can feel my blood itching
I need another fix
Got to feed this habit, my need
My addiction
I've tried to become clean
But the rush
The adrenalin it gives me
I can't stay away I like the feeling
So I keep coming back for more
Didn't know I could get hooked
If it ever went away
I'd follow it like a lost puppy
There's no way I'd last a day
As I take another hit from this addiction
I stop an look at the sky
And there it is her face
My addiction
The affect of her is already kicking in

its a new year but I'm still the same i will never change from the monster i am I'm sick mentally if i would die i would die with no soul so probably would burn they say death will take you to a better place but i don't believe it because I'm already dead and i still don't feel no love what am i suppose to do pray to a god who never answers me back well the only comfort i have is from my blade and sleeping away the pain I'm only sane in my dreams.