Time waits for no one.

Every day,
Every hour,
Every minute,
Every second
I get wiser.

Every day,
Every hour,
Every minute,
Every second
I get older.

Every day,
Every hour,
Every minute,
Every second
I get slightly closer to death.

Closer to peace,
Closer to serenity,
Closer to heaven.

sometimes i seriously doubt
if i will ever recover
from this loss,
this bruise
from losing you.

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night
to sweat soaked sheets and mascara-drenched pillow cases,
curled up in full fetal-position
and i think about you
and how i'm lucky that i even accomplish falling sleep
at all.

i think that's just the difference between the body and the mind -
the body won't stop contorting itself to match your
dissected heart
just because you did or did not decide to say
goodbye to someone.

and this is why i woke up with a knots like stones
inside of my back,
practically paralyzed
it's like my body is trying to punish me
for going against its
ferocious nature. all it wants
is to be back inside you.

sometimes i seriously doubt
if i will ever recover
from this loss,
this bruise
from losing you.

broken has made a cold home out of me.

last night
I came to the conclusion
that
every time you leave, I
die a little inside
and
I don’t want to tell you
‘cause
if you knew
I’m not sure whether you’d
stay in effort to keep me alive
or if you’d
keep on leaving until I’m

dead

I’m the girl
that falls asleep at dawn
Lying in bed with eyes wide open
Bright Eyes exploding in my ears
As I awake, with woe and renewal
of life, I grab the knife
I feel the blood drain
drain from myself
My soul, my mind, my pity
I begin to think of you
The pain I caused you
The loneliness I faced you with
I want centre doom
Like one of the 9 levels of hell
I just want silence
Silence filled with emptiness
For you see, I seek clarity
Yet in the end
I only to receive nostalgia