I look in the mirror,

And I see many things,

Many things,

But not my own self,

I don't know who I am anymore,

And maybe I never will,

Maybe I'm too far gone,

*And passed the point of return.

and I am grateful for you, I truly am.

I think I hit the point in life where,
I'm just done.

I cried,
I fought,
I tried,

But everything is crashing down.

My demons are screaming louder.
Trying to eat away the rest of me.

and this time,
I'm not going to fight back.

The monsters my parents warned me about, when I was younger weren't under my bed..or in my closet..but they were in my head.

People told me
       "get over it"
I tried.

People told me
       "get better grades"
I tried.

People told me
       "stop being so quiet"
I tried.

People told me
       "you look tired, get more sleep"
I tried.

People told me
       "just **** yourself already"
I'm trying.

Living in America ,is not so fabulous.
Everyone seems to hate Americans, and we're not actually free, we've never really be free, and we probably won't ever be.
There were all the nasty wars, and all of the deaths, and the great depression, and then there is slavery, and segregation, and then sexism, and people are still extremely sexist today... today its the matter of being able to afford the nice things.
today, we have obama, enough said.
today we have unequal gender pay.
today we have abortion ---> ******.
today we have technology that rules our lives,
and people say that we have technology to 'our convenience'
but 84% of the people in America say that they can't last a day without their phones...

We may be in America, but we aren't free.

Living with depression
is like watching people around you
breathing but instead.

Your blue lips inhale
words of self-hatred
and you know you should
be able to fill
you lungs
with fresh oxygen
like everyone else.

but you can't.

And the worst part is
people mistake your chest
frantically rising up and down
as breathing
when really you're
suffocating.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall
was I always meant to fall?
roses white and dying light
silver's sweet forgiving bite
she'll ask "why"
no answers found
and i'll rot deep
beneath the ground.

your frontal lobe-where you make all your rationalizations...-
does not fully develop until your early  to mid twenties.
until your frontal lobe can make your rationalizations
the job is temporarily for your amygdala-where you feel all of your emotions...-
they tell my that's why im so upset... to the point where sometimes i can't function but they dont realize that whether or not i know that, my emotions will over-ride it, and they say that we feel that the world is ending, but its not..
but those thoughts and feelings could overwhelm me to the point of ending my world