Do not question my sanity for I have but none.
Do not ask me to hope for I have but none.
Do not ask me to look for better days because there are but none.
Do not ask me to live because I have but very few reasons too.
Do not ask me.

Do tell me to **** myself.
Do tell me all of the things you hate about me.
Do tell me things that you wouldnt.
Do tell me.

Please answer me. This one, simple ******* question.
Why?
Why am I still here? I'm a piece of ******* nothing that everybody in this ******* world hates. Mom. Sister. Uncle's. Aunts. My whole ******* family.
I ******* hate it. Stop ******* lying to me please.
Just hate me please. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me like I do. Hate me like my family. Treat me like I do myself. Treat me like the piece of nothing I am. Just ******* hate me for THE LOVE OF ******* GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I am nothing.
I am ****.
I deserve to die, and rot away with the worms and bugs of the underground.
I am a hopeless cause that will aspire to nothing.
I want to go into a whole and never come out until I am retracted in a body bag.
Leave me. Hate me. Please.
Hate me so I have nothing.
Hate me because deep deep down thats what you want to do.
Hate me because I will drag you further and further into the hole of nothingness that others call my being.
Hate me because I hate myself.
So now answer me this.
Why?

Dylan Klebold (17)... Senior.... September 11, 1981- April 20, 1999
Eric Harris (18)... Senior.... April 9, 1981- April 20, 1999
Cassie Bernall (17)... Senior.... November 6, 1981- April 20, 1999
Lauren Townsend (18)... Senior.... January 17, 1981- April 20, 1999
Rachel Scott (17)... Senior.... August 5, 1981- April 20, 1999
Corey DePooter (17)... Senior.... March 3, 1982- April 20, 1999
Daniel Mauser (15)... Sophy.... June 25, 1983- April 20 1999
Daniel Rhohrbough (15)... Sophy.... March 2, 1984-  April 20, 1999
Dave Sanders (47)... Old ****.... October 22, 1951- April 20, 1999
Kelly Fleming (16)... Junior.... January 6, 1983- April 20, 1999
Steve Curnow (14)... Freshmeat.... August 28, 1984- April 20, 1999
Matt Kechter (16)...Sophy.... February 19, 1983- April 20, 1999
Isaiah Shoels (18)... Senior.... August 4, 1980- April 20, 1999
John Tomlin (16)... Junior.... September 1, 1982- April 20, 1999
Kyle Velasquez (16)... Junior....May 5, 1982- April 20, 1999

Happy 4-20!!

Where people blaze it and shoot it
Where the blunts and joints are welcomed,
As are the guns and shells.

Where people have lived and died.
From Bob Marley to Adolf ******.
From Dixon to Columbine.

This day is momentous known for two very different things:
Marijuana and 15 lives.


We hope you have a great time on this wondrous day!!

Help me to love the parts of myself I hate
Help me to love my nose, chin, and smile and hair
Help me to love my body, chest and hips and legs
Help me to love my personality, my bad jokes, awkwardness, and loud mouth
Help me to love myself
Please
Help me to love myself

She, in three weeks, has had 3 different guys
(Yeah I'm happy for her)
But each time she tells me about the new guy the deep hollow pit inside my stomach gets a little deeper, a little more empty
It seems like everyone has someone pining for them
Well that is except for me
I don't mean to ***** and complain and wallow in self pity
But this has been inside of me and I guess I need an outlet
It's like a punch in the face when I'm with friends and then we take a picture and everyone seems to look 17
Except for me
It hurts when people ask if I'm what 13 or maybe 14?
I mean I didn't realize how premature I am until now
And I can't tell you how much I hate it
I hate having to wear make up to look a year older, and even then I only look like a freshman
I despise bathing suits
I detest clothing that tightly fits because it is supposed to accentuate natural feminine curves
But I have none so what's the ******* point besides making it even more obvious I don't have them
It hurts not being able to shop for bras
And ******* like ******* it hurts when your best friend tells you "aw it's okay one day"
Because it sounds like my mom saying I can't ride in the front seat of the car
It's belittling
And I already feel little enough
It hurts looking at bras and **** online because none fit you
The worst part of all is probably all the "one day you'll grow sweetie"
That only makes it even more of a reality
So I guess the best idea is to **** in that part of myself I hate and not share that often or else I get those comments that hurt more
so I'll keep holding **** in because that's what I'm good at
And we can all pretend I didn't go ***** off like this