Vibrations
inside
Electricity lines

Open your eyes
Do you see the lies
That live in matrix ties
Do you see the mass manipulation that affects the 3D station
Do you see behind the curtain
So much more it is certain
Do you see the truth to feeling thoughts and vibration
And do you see how your caring media don't have best intentions for the nation
Turn over the station
Let's live in truth happiness joy and love  
Draw wide the curtain
And let the chaos
leave

Forgive those who hurt us
So we don't have to come back round to live this again
Cut the ties and soul contracts that no longer work

Shaking hands
Sweaty palms
Pulsating pounding heart
Not knowing whether to quit before the very start
Kept pushing the fear and doubt aside
Listened to the loving voice inside
Until it was done
And so it was

Pain hits me again like a steel knife
I succumb to the trembling inside

From a place very familiar
A place of birth
Now older it's not the heritage that haunts
It's the strange but familiar haunters that visit to me

Consumed by anxiety daily
Depression shifts and folds
Try to work through the social phobia but struggle to go out mostly alone
Make it to work and back sometimes walk the dog but still haven't found the striding knack
To go out without the doubt
Past worries took the mount
One of pain and setbacks
You would think the endless faced battles and the street (most feared) attack would finally see to that
I'm not brave
Just living with being weak

To take a chance on a dalliance
Would never make it true
For hearts to fall
There has to be more
than
just me
and
you

Manipulation I'm not a fan of it
So I learn't to dance with it

Dancing till the world ends

&

heaven is our home

Spinning round the room
Dancing
Feeling giddy
It's ok I'm feeling great
Wish everyday could move so pretty
I'm getting looked at like I'm silly ;-p Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Dangerous hearts have bled too much or not enough
Their pain and suffering or lack of
passes to the next if they seethe through bitterness
neglect
We have all been hurt and have bled but should consciously seek not to pump our blood stains into the next
We have though
Learning curve to forgive ourselves and them
We may never forget but what good does it do to feed the loop of regret over and over again
Our actions have effect
We give and get what we beget

I've got myself a new shade
A deep and dark colour
They mix well together
Come closer
I won't bite
Much!
Let my lips smother
But only if you want
I wouldn't want you to choke up!

It's like the stars have gone out

You rip me open
But all I see is dark

Feel like I'm in the dark
Waiting
Hoping to see the light

Tonight to cosy up
Comfy sofa, toasty wear
A movie perhaps
A comedy to cheer, laughter to lift the air
A spot of the warm whiskey nectar
Honey on the spot
Ice, just one single drop
I guess I'm in for a good night to self
Well my company is hard to top :-D

Felt his body lie on top
Pinned down
Groin pressed into my thighs
Genitals hardening
Uncomfortable feeling
Face of a friend
Whispering words of I love you
Words repeated back
Head in a confused state
It didn't make sense
Overwhelmed
Intense
Witnessed my own ignorance
Reeling to push the weight off
He wanted to **** me
Managed to turn away
Tempting to tantalize taste buds
Exploiting with desires of pleasure
Just for bad measure
Beast for the flesh
I SCREAMED
CRIED OUT
LORD
GOD
JESUS
HELP!!
It all went quiet
Stopped.

I only remembered the next nightmare upon waking

Some nights all Hell broke out
But nothing is more daunting than spending the nights alone without
you

The fog rolls in it covers the light
Darkness descends
Shrouded smoky night
Dark and cold
Chilly
Distant
Unfeeling it all
Til a voice inside says shine
Listen to the call
From heart spark
Lit flame
Grows brighter with each glowing frame
Expanding out to form and air
Hitting the fog filled lair
Glimpse of sun gaping through cloud
Dawn will break
Dissipate
Smoky
grey
shroud

When I go out I create the feeling I would like my day to bring
Is it happy calm amazing fantastic magical fun loving comforting
When I stay in I tend to feel let the emotions rise up and in
Write read meditate bathe soak exercise breathe release
letting go again

I showed myself love
From all the ways I died

Why would we want to cure the earth
Cure known to man become more known to monetary gain
As illness big value to recover from pain
Life in the hands of greed so inane
As more grow wiser and strong to cruel power game

I hear the bells ring for peace but all I hear is the noise
I think about those forced to fight
Those lives lost by our own blind sight
Killing not another but self
Those who ran
Brave to face away from the harm
Still seen as the cowardly man
What a shame
And yet the fighting still echoes on

With boney fingers point me out
Take a hold
Kiss my mouth
Make haste in final embrace
After life don't wake with pain hurt or hate
Lifeless to feel anything

I faced another one of my demons last night I looked at it and sent it love from the heart. I could keep feeding it fear but I didn't want to. It felt like it was in need of comfort. It seemed alone.

So much going on below the surface
The deep blue sea alive with activity
Constant to and fro
Life moving by
Darkness far reaching beneath deep blue sky
Illumination under murky depths
Some things yet to be discovered
It's no wonder when we are deep we can feel blue
Carried along with the waves
Will we meet clearer calmer waters
Right now
Float in this moment
Learn to go with the flow..

When your hearts
Heavy
Let it breathe..
......
....
.

Deep down I feel really alone
But I have to remember
I'm
not

You body was never ment to be touched from its skin
It's was ment to be unveiled from within

It's not easy to face ourselves
To look within so deeply to see and feel the wounds and be with them for healing
It hurts a lot
Though I'll feel the pain to lessen the grip to lessen its tormented gain
To understand and see it's not all of me
Being compassionate for self this radiates out as you learn more hidden depths and compassion for another
For why we do as we do
How we live as we live
How we can take and how we can give
The understanding grows...
...Deep

With sweet kiss a seal pass from lips
He grips firm but delights in her form
Fingers entangle in soft loose curls charmed by her feminine grace
Hand of other with curvaceous hips place
Fingers tighten like tentacles to the twirling of her thighs
In his eyes she feels his love his soul dances to her rhythmic glow
Eyes smile between delicate and passionate kisses
Their world spins with the sounds of life
The arch of her back traces the tree line it's wood hard and  pleasing
A flower in bloom opens to natures tune
The roots run deep below their feet
He takes her down to feel the ground pound
Thrusting to the earth's beat
Leaves crunch as senses rush
Every moment a beautiful note
A message of universal love
A message of loving hope

A harsh word there
A look down stare
Lines of criticism from which to repair
Years built up to thoughts of no good
As strong as you try to believe
The voice of self doubt echoes deep
Keep on pushing through
Telling self think more of you
Building up too
There will always be times when others do put down
But the more we climb the farther away from hard ground
And even when words may be cruel
You see a bigger truth
The perpetrator is delicate underneath sharp snarling teeth
As fragile as you or me
It doesn't need to feel so painful when you see more clearly
We are all just swimming in delicate fragility at the bottom of our sea
So start to love you
Start to love me

Dreaming of a future with less struggle
Not to worry bout the restrictive huddle
To feel the joy of movement
To dance inside this skin
To have time to be with family and friends and ways to treat them to days that we will never want to end
But for now...
I dream

Sufferer for life
Lived it alone days and days on end
Came through a lot
The suicide attempts
Learnt to pick self back up
Time and time again
You'll still encounter those that don't understand
It's in your head not a broken arm
Can find moments to break out
However bottom line of dragging heavy grief and doubt
Like a stone that wants to sink and drown no matter if any joy tries to save
Gotta keep on
Can't have rest days
Always something to do
Emotional maze to work through
When all you want to do is be alone recuperate or shout

Depression
It's
like
entering
a
black
tunnel
thinking
that
there
is
no
way
out
No
escape
route
No
exit
No
light

Desire
from
the feet
to
the thighs
Soul from the roots
to
the
crown

The morning routine of wondering what day will bring has a habit of songs played from 'on this day'
So on social site one song played year before today was fall at your feet crowded house
I thought nice tune as I headed out
As morning panned out I hit a bumpy load feeling pain mental and physical
Trying to hold it back but part of grief kicked out
I struggle with not being authentic
As song comes on radio as about to leave for home
"And whenever I fall at your feet
Won't you let your tears rain down on me?
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain"  
It's playing same song again
I kept the tears inside til I got back
Shaking hands from panic attack
Play the song to listen again
Suggested "Don't dream it's over"
I don't play but go away to eat and rest
Downstairs friend sings same song
Poetry prompt for today was rainbows and gemstones wasn't feeling shiny or colourful
Then found out how rainbows show
So I went with what was read
Now to rest this weary head

I'm growing myself and loving me there
You see the past I've met love from lack that I've shared

Keep ploughing
through the
dark
night
..
.

&
you
will shine
with the stars
of bright
light

Black mass
you hover above me
Circling the room
No noise No sound
No quick zoom
You just move

And I
observe

I die for truth everytime
Yet perhaps in some other universe place and time
We were together and you were mine
Still
walking
journeys
line
Even
If not
side
by
side

Morning songs to gear my day
Running up that hill on YouTube display
Kesha praying for strength to come
Kid in street tells Grandfather in difficulty of the hill he today had to run
I felt the climb

Let's jump into paradise
A garden of luscious eden
Where pleasure is so nice
Living without compromise

No need to roll the dice as fate is matched
Clear skies of blue earth over you
The verdant vines swing in time
Harmonics flute chime wind sublime
Sounds of nature Godly sign
To pair on wings of a dove
For heaven is in our eyes
In our breast
Hearts to shine align above

Guide me to this heavily place
That has put such a smile on your face
I want to feel the same glow
Running in your bloodstream
Like a river flow

Stream of fire folding in its lava
Mouths current to bed into the sea
Waves crash over me
Lost in your rising rip tide completely
Power to reign free
Bodies twine want to meet
Climbing around and within
Lacing racing twisting pulsing tree

I'd make sure to stir up
The hidden flairs/bliss you hide
Raging your pulse in fire and
Taking you higher
in ecstasy exhilaration ride
Non-stop, in letting
your lava boil, beyond control
As I dig deep into your soul

They've never actually known me
No one has
They only see what they think they see
I haven't unearthed true magic of real me
I've only scratched the surface