I'm not proud of my demons
But I am learning to make peace with them
The hurt I've caused it always came back
The pushing away of others I've realized discerning with that
I've seen the reasons the light sparks the dark
I've said goodbye to people I've loved the most
I've held on to things I've lacked
Forgiveness is a momentary wing
You have to keep flying with that

How do we live without making mistakes
Can we?

The abandonment issues and rejection inherited and absorbed
It penetrates my core I push away
Any glimpse of the mimicking
I speak my truth
Put up barriers
I'm not sure what I'm more scared of to be left or to be loved

I'm sure there's so much more to come but I can look back and see why what was done was done
How it shaped and changed the girl inside
How much the internal struggle burned cyanide
Choking on too much anger hurt fear pride
Though sometimes having no good reason to find the worth I hide
Learnt to concentrate on not so great side
I would fight to catch the shine
But my mind was always falling further behind
Too many critical words they grew to be the only voice I heard
Still get it I listen but keep balance in check
They have learnt from their too
level of lack
Learning to know and love myself for me and no one else to downgrade self belief
A better me for a better you
Future with more happiness
Sunlight shining through

A pillar from core to air
Vines twisting twining intersecting overlapping pushing
under loosely thread
Tightening as they grow
Constricting
Breathing more
Air is dense
Light is the floor
Holly prickling pillow
Soft warm sinking sand as the door

A light waiting to break
out
Placed behind these bars
This cell
Sometimes they peek
through
Some times they hide in the shadows

Checklist
Remember to be polite
Remember to talk nice
Remember to smile
Remember to treat with respect
Remember to accept
Remember to learn
Remember to reach others in defeat
Remember don't cheat
Keep it clean and neat
But I'm not just a line
you see

Time is no relevance to us
Each moment is loving and unique
Gazing into each other's eyes upon waking or setting down to sleep
Loving from within
Though loving touching skin
Hands held in bed or out while walking
Kisses sweet playful adoring
Passion blends romance
Hugs comforting and nurturing
Friends from the hearts
Little pleasures amplified
Whether sipping tea or sighting stars
You are here with me
We belong in each other's arms

I need to start again
New life
New hope

Inhale it in
Exhale it out
The air the breath from the universal sky
Without your pulse
Surely
I could
die
  
  I've felt choked for quite some time
Choking on my own
decline

Love is the fuel
that times
the rhyme

I never knew it was possible
to have a broken heart on top of
a broken heart
Until I felt it

I didn't know how to
I still don't know what happened
Everything went dark and now I just sit here
Waiting to see

It's all written in the stars
Universe in motion
Calling
to
your name
Intrinsic devotion
Moth
to
the
flame

He pulls her in close
Both stood in front of the mirror
He turns her around to see
He whispers softly in her ear
" I see it in you"
She replies "What?"
He replies
"Me!"

In the night they have covered smothered me strangled me paralyzed me
Still
I've seen the light

I woke up and I went to hell
I saw the demons came
The shadows
The voices call out my name
The visions they envision they plague
Then the angels the song unnamed
The blissful cave
I cave to thee
Let it be
The wings love me
deeply

On the journey of awakening my pain became so immense I held a cross in my hand and asked God for help

Holding that cross at one time was the only deliverance I found

I was still in pain but it was bearable

I felt God was with me in my darkest times

When I asked to die if that was to be God kept me living

When I surrendered in mercy

God renewed the senses

Resurrection for
life

Tune in to my frequency
Talk to me in mind
Opposites to parallel
Similar to find
Hear every call
The demons
God's shine
Your innocence
Guilt undermines
Judging all the time
So much hostile bitterness
When your heart is so ******* divine

The more people you connect with
The more you see we are not so different

What do we have in common
A desire for connection
Acceptance
Of self
Or each other
A sense of purpose
A safe happy contented home
A place to be at peace and harmony
In love
In mind body and soul

Some things you just know
Without consciously knowing
settling
deep
within

To change the world must begin within
Before we see it without
To achieve the outer state
We must be it
from
inside
Then it can ripple out

I turn the pages
Read the lines
Flick through the memories felt behind
Feel the words
Hear what's heard
It hits hard
Trails of our broken shards carried with our broken hearts
Scattering the pieces into our life
Stepping forward inching on the sharp blades of a knife
One we have whittled and sharpened ourselves

Need some time to touch the ground

Go within
See what's with-out

To see the world as yourself is not always a view to cherish
You can't always force yourself to see the beauty
When the inside screams
It paints the screen
You just want it to fade away

Play the chord
How's that sound
Is it in tune now
Pluck the string
Is it harmoniously resonating
Is there a healthy tone
A happy flow
Or does the note fall a little flat
A bit off key
Match the response to the melodic frequency

Sometimes I wake up
to energies
watching
me

Visions flicker
Objects change
Form of matter rearranged
Back to the same

We change like the weather
Some days the light is upon us
Some days we are masked by the dark clouds
At times the rain falls hard
Other times we barely notice the rain
The wind can blow in new directions
Or hit us with a force
Stand strong no matter what the weather brings
As each day changes
The birds carry new songs to sing
And the light of the heart is ever present

After all the storms
The warmth feels so much more
The kindness is beautiful
It's difficult at first to not call back with a roar but you let it settle    in
It's magnified within
Any act of kindness or support
It's appreciated
Deeply cherished

I don't know what I'm looking for
anymore
I feel like I've already watched it all
fade . .  .

He touches me with passions raw
In his arms I really soar
Body to body deep connect
Mind to spirit heaven sent
Kisses melt heart to heart
Lips do feel of emotions not spoken
Sensing the love in each and every moment
Eyes sometimes bashful when looked into old worlds broken to new worlds of beauties splendor
Wonders from cosmic sender
Delving into oceans vast
Riding the waves of ****** euphoric blast
Waters edge to touch the land
Shore to shore
Hand to hand
Intimate islands to discover as we venture
more and more
into
one another

The dark scares me more now than it ever did
I don't know why
Fear comes up again
The night is more vivid now
Vision more alive
Is that why
Light being
You tried to hide and run from me
But I still see
I feel before I witness

The stomach churns sometimes
The body seems to slip away
I feel the
drift
.
.
.

What you do to another you do to yourself
Once you learn this you don't want to intentionally hurt anyone else
Though we also learn to forgive too
As we recognize our own
fallibility

Forging
further
into the forest
Into the thick of it
The deep dark brush grows up and up
Though I wander
further
Not scared to stop
As the more I venture the closer I get to the edge  
Light shines
on
the
other
side

Looking
into
each other's eyes
as
they
fall to sleep
Holding
one another's hands
as they
wake

He dipped his hands
into the
sky
Held the moon
& never asked why
He knew
He just knew
.

Melodies tune to the sound of strings
Dante base and Heavens wings
Dancing naked as you play to me
Fire of hips with eyes of sea
Fan the flames
Ill dive
to
thee

Each day a new symbol
Sign
Synchronicity
Vision
Dream
No ear in close range that wants to listen
I turn to God

Lay me
down
Take
me
In your arms
I'm
yours

I love you
I miss you
I just want to cuddle and kiss you
I would love to feel your arms wrapped around me again
I would love to lay my head on your chest and feel your heart beating
Hold hands palm to palm
Let me nuzzle into your neck
Smell that adoring scent
I love you and I'm missing you dearly
I would love to be able to tell you all this

Open fields
Sea in the distance
Welcome walks down winding lanes
Cows horse and sheep graze the land
On top of the hill the views surround
Elements too
The mountainous earth
Sea to south
Breath of fresh air
Watching colours of warmth rise and set
Magical moments to cherish
Never forget
~

It's all in your head
The imagining
The thoughts you dread
The scripts you've repeatedly read
The what if
The could be
The we will see
Some times I reach for release
And follow my heart
Going in deep

Storm has taken me in a spin once again
Vertigo has made a comeback old trusty friend
This house has damp and plays havoc on the sense
Doesn't matter how you clean its bad weather's stream
Gave ears healing vents
Body cleansing to try clear ailments
Dancing to release tensions
Now on ginger ale and ginger biscuits
Too much want to do to let this take my will
Gonna fight this *******
Keep
stepping
through
the
ill

There's an underlining
hopelessness
I want to drown
out

Doors shifting
side to side
Movement in
Another place
and
time

Oh yes! I love your smell
Your touch silky smooth
effortless
You know just how to make me smile
I glow when you are near
On my lips
It's you I want to taste
Rub all over me
Get deep
Go right in
Don't worry not a drop go to waste
I like this new skin regime
Coconut oil tasty scented paste Mmmm..

Thoughts coming up to be questioned
Can anything be answered clearly