Every night before my wake departs
I say a pray for you
I pray for family and friends to be protected and safe and I pray for you and your family too
Even though with your departure I was torn in two
I still pray for you
May love light and protection be a guide
surrounding hue

'She pretended to be hurting
Said it was caused by 'Her
'They all decided it was unfair and turned on 'Her
Unable to contemplate the reasons why 'She cried and lied
'Her case was not heard
'They wouldn't listen at first
'They realized 'She was fibbing putting the blame on 'Her
'They then blamed 'She who played grief
'She was then hurt
'She and 'Her family got angry
Anger turned on each other
'They were ok with 'Her
But not all was ok
'You had all been hurt

I am the toxins in my system
The mucus in my lungs
The mould growing on the run
I am the dust from which mites feed
crawling niggling
for their
sum

Dream it
as if
it's already
here

Your love can not be eradicating
Diminished or Devoid
Sometimes it may feel it can
But it is always in your heart
It lives in you
For you
That cannot be taken away
We just need to remove the fog that clouds with grey

Is death life
And life death
Living well in death depending on how well you live
Dying slowly in life to learn how to live again

The dark was calling one way
The light the other
Turned to face the light
Although was in dark room under cover
Wish the battle would end
Can't we just rest in peace and not toss and turn at wits end
Try the very best to be good
But don't be misunderstood
Possess a dark side
Haunting presence cloaked black hood
Sinistrous beasts burden the night
Serpents living in blood
Can give a deadliest fright
However we may fear something ominous which could be of the light
Shift in hindsight
Just trust and keep the faith to stay right

It's all about the love
Loving ourselves
Loving others
Loving enemies til there are none
Hate won't exist, if all to do this
What you see in another's eyes/a reflection of you
It's all about the love
A touching truth
Hope to live this through

I was told I had disappointed him and that I wasn't the Kate he knew
Weird thing was
He never knew me at all!

Living in the pretence
Some part wants to climb the fence
Another just lay in bed

Spill your guts out on the floor
Grind and writhe til you can't take anymore
Feel it fill you up in horror
Darkness invades be no tomorrow
Let it spew
Let it
      slide
It builds and sticks
to
insides
Hurting, it is too much
It's your medicine
Can't you taste the punch
Now swallow hard and replace
with
love
You're healing
It's in your blood

No matter who you are or what you find
You can always learn to be kind
We all have those days where the shadow wins its doesn't make us evil or deceiving
No matter our past or what came before
There is always an opening to a new welcoming door
The rusty hinge is old it's squeak became a chore
Replace what's gone you are a-door-ed
Give yourself a break and an applause
You have picked yourself up
Let the fresh air through the porch
Now smile :-D..
Face the ground where you stand for this will be your building spot this will be where you plant
In future days you and those after can look out at the garden you have tended grown and blossomed from your budding bare hands

Lived in the darkness
Soul was in pain harness
Over and over again demons fed dread and fear
Send them love, they need it most
They don't know how it feels to hold such light
Faced the dark
Now staring into the sun

It's my battle and I'll fight it
I'll hold the pen and I'll write it
I'll feel the surge and I'll rewire it
My mind to become a blanket of comfort
To know the fear and see I don't want it
The panic in my chest I'll rise and breathe above it
Watch the thoughts as the peak to the summit
Feel the warm glow on my skin
Take the scenery in
Place the war in both hands
Hold it to my heart  
and
love it

Contrast not all bad
Let's us see thoughts, things we have
had
Makes us understand when we feel happy or sad
Sometimes in these moments even in the pain peek horizons of glad
Anything else would just be
mad

I'm too much for some people
and
it's ok
I'm not enough for some people
So
why would they stay

Power in my hands
Don't underestimate what I can do
I can have you crawling  
begging
pleading
on your knees
Wanted so much more
Helpless until your blue
That's only the nice side of me
You'll get          what you are due

These words that line the page
I've breathed bled and felt
Cut myself open on the edges
Spilled
Poured  
Knelt
Built up with the highs
Come
down
with
the
lows
Set words from chapters of spirit that only truly knows
Shelled out from the hollows
Pulled out from the veins
Dredged
deep
from
pits and gallows
Sprinkled
down
from
soft summer
rain
Meaning has come from places I wouldn't want to rewrite again
The poetry more than just a verse it's the healing to live
with this pen

This    heart
feels too much
it tries to release
through the

tears

You said it was all in my head
After your head thumped into mine
It was all in my head
When you kicked me in the bed
Telling me my body took too much space up
It was all in my head
When I lay on the floor next to my own bed
You had the space
I didn't have any cover
It was all in my head
When you swore I had slept with another
It was all in my head when you examined the situation an internal examination
Apparently I failed the test
It was all in my head
When you told me how ****** up I was
Then I questioned the words
You said no such thing
I was being absurd
It was all in my head
When my contacts of friendship was broken the card snapped in half
No call to them anymore
It was in my head
When the pills I took you said
It wasn't enough
You need more to **** you
It was in my head when I wanted to die
Years pass by
And I heal
You come from under that rock to shake it up
After all
It was all in my head

I've a thing with darkness
It holds me in its grasp
Reaching out to touch me deep
Cutting chippings from the rasp
Whittling to its root
Healthy stem is left to shoot
Raw edges growing into hedges
A border
Leading
to
the
dawn

I've seen his eyes before
The shirt that he wore
The heart upon the sleeve
The deep kind soul
With an aching to grieve
He is a beautiful man so caring and mostly calm
Come on we are only human
As one pains the other soothes
An ointment for the compressed groove
Your love is strong

Let's make an ASMR video together
I'll play with your hair
Stroke your back
Rub you all over in lotion

I want you
to
breathe
soft and slow at first
steady as we rise
Into each other's arms
we dance
Take me
into
you
Breathe me
Deep
Let's fill the space
between
each
step
Riding the wind
until
the heat is all we feel
No need to breathe
The fire is all we need
Our
Tempestuous
Feed

Wrap your arms around my golden glow
Beg for mercy in your solemn vow
On your knees I'll take you now
Never think I can't

Even when I die

I will always start again

I didn't see anything but his beauty


Despite what he saw in himself

The book cover it reads well at first
It has an enticement and alluring verse
Beneath the pleasantries a curse
A sorrow that binds it's pages
******* in chapter stages
A history of dark ages
Fragmented at the core
The story grips for more
To restore it's happy end
A soul survivor take hold the pen

Heart feels joy
Now know, wherever I go
I want to
follow
that
joy
:-D

Crying doesn't come as easily as once did before
Feel too many tears have been shed
Down on the floor

Walking home from work today
The van drives past and I see the words it say
Skyline
I look up and around no, nothing obvious
Just blend of grey and white clouds sun obscured
Look back down
Keep walking
Look back up
The sun gleams from behind cloud
Shapes appear
So very bright I probably shouldn't peer
The form of light and cloud makes two wings either side of a
light body
Angelic!
I smile :-)
Then on my way a little while
Song on the headset
Sing of heart beats
Just at my feet a heart shape leaf
I smile again :-)
Walk a while more
The Y keeps appearing in the sky
On the floor
In nature
On van door
Signs from above
Symbols of love
Further down the path a flower
Pink pretty looked out of place looked like it was being presented as a gift
Turn into next street
Shop window a pink flower image with heart inside
Made me overjoyed and feel alive
I smiled
for some time :-D
What's to become of this heart of mine
I was thinking....
as I see a truck up in front with King on trunk
It's all mystic
to me

No other can come too close
Unless they writhe with serpent host
Or willing to die over and over again
It could **** you

***
without
love
no longer
an
option
Without, no desire
Will
put
out
the flame

I love you
I love youuu..
I Love
You!!
<3

Your eyes to me they bring delight you see
They bring the smile that I brightly feel
Your smile it is so beautifully warming and that makes me smile even more
Your dimples so cute I love to see you in your happy glory
That is the part of the story
I do adore
The colour in your eyes they bring a sense of home
There is comfort and depth and a heartwarming beautiful soul
I love you
Just want you to know

Waking up can lead to many discoveries including opening eyes to the unknown
unfolding
right in
front
of
you

Barriers are getting knocked
down
So what if I get hit
I'm use to batting back

Views you should be like this or like that
Maybe you should be like you
Dress for your own company
But will they take me seriously
Or place projections on me
I'm sure some will
They do

You've lived the lows
You've died inside
You've met the love that stole your heart your mind
You've despised the self
You've cried
Too many times
You can't go back
Onwards you must climb

Battle of light and dark
Not always so easy to see
The dark soothes the light
The light shines on dark
Blackness in both
Light in too
Stay in
heart
That's where you'll find good will
Try do no intended ill and take time for mind to be still
Even on lit path we encounter and face shadow sides of dark

Sipping on solitude fills up mind
Reaching out to another no compatibility to find
Want to be the self
Not falling behind
Hiding
Giving out only snippets to minimize the doubt
Eyes glaze
Mouth stout
Understand each path walks its legs
Understand not all can see from same view
Understand love for each other
Care for me and you
Glances come from different angles a window some times narrow or too wide
Home lives central inside
Let each have their place the knowing resides
Sometimes I just want to play from a mountain high
in the sky

His eyes so mesmerizing
Other worlds did see
Planes of beauty
Oceans
of mystery

Kept within his vault

Unless he found someone
of which, to share
his key

She's my crazy friend and I love her
She is who she is make no apologies
She is feisty sassy
She'll have you fall to your knees
She's a heart of gold
Difficult to please
Fire through her veins
Apocalyptic boundaries
Soft to the core though it's a secret for sure
She's the spring in God's forests trees
But that she won't believe