How can what I see be real
How can the I be the only truth
My awareness is a reflection of me and my mood
It changes as it
                         moves

Being human is hard
So many layers to break through
Sometimes we too need a break
Take it easy on ourselves ❤

You can feel the sadness behind the eyes
you try so desperately to hide
Tomorrow your eyes will light up
another day

Roaring waves they came and washed me down
Out of my depth needed to come up for breath
I resurfaced only to be met with a forceful plummet
I remembering thinking if it takes me again
this is me sinking
I swam back up
It took me down
In hopeless state
Panicked now
The waves so strong perhaps heard the song and it wasn't long before I was brushed along ocean bed
to
beach ahead
I remember that day in Mexico well
Covered in sand
******* Hell!!
Bit embarrassing walking back to the hotel
Wasn't just gritt'in me teeth

If I try and trust
At least I'm trying
You can't fully when you have learnt to be discerning
You've had to from where you have been

I sit with the fear
Sense how it feels
Digging in it's heels
I let it speak but soothe it deep
Knowing the souls spirit is real deal

You can stare menacingly at my third eye
But I can see you too
I feel you
I'm not scared of you
I'M NOT SCARED OF you
NOW
fall
away ..
I want my peace

I will love you forever
though I can't hold on
You belong to whoever makes your love
be strong

Ego   says
I want love
Spirit says
You are
love

The water may be clear but the glass may not
Sweaty fingers smearing the outside container
Muddying up our view of the clean flow  
Tipping away the contents
unless we taste its smooth
cool afterglow
Unclear glasses piled up
in the sink

Forensics checking house across the way from me
Police busy on the beat
Can't help but look to see
But I know I'll have to let it go
Just to be

Rocket balloon flying far so soon
Reaching highs that scare eyeline  
In the way of incoming plane
Near miss fatality
Then aircraft more clearly
too a hot air fare
Someone trashing up a car playing to the high
Not seeing beneath skies rise
So busy looking on the ground seeing the broken surrounds
Perhaps can view the two keeping one eye on the ground while flying soaring more
Knowing the level between it all
Releasing staying small

Up with the snooze
Later slight delay
Listen to the words on video play
Speaking of rockets how journey climb to align
Then washing up the crockery
I look and see balloons released to the clouds
So many balloons
Blue and white
Same colours
as rockets
that were
in flights
Zoom

Opening up to love means opening up to the possibility of abandonment and betrayal
I've realised I don't want to not try
Everything is a gamble
I just hurt so much sometimes my mind won't shut up
My body pains my heart aches my soul cries and the energy shakes
I've held myself over and over
Working through the feel
Understanding the reason from the experience that has been
Delving deeper into compassion and forgiveness
Bringing in the love I can
It starts inside and then it scales to others
I know we are all connected
I know love is the true source
I just drift off course and need redirecting
The compassion helps

Synchronicity in plain sight
In number plate state might
Next car behind
Two letters together say be
Not sure what that could mean
to you or me

You grew from the life left over from death
You drew from the sun but your head knew where you were grown from

Got to keep on          
      pushing
          through
                  Or a
                        step
                           ahead
                                    and
                                           I'll
                                                 be
                                                   s
                                                   c
                                                   r
                                                   e
          ­                                         w
                      ­                             e
                                  ­                 d

There's magic in our house
A fairy who visits by
Swishing round the living room
Making spirits fly
Round and round the home she goes placing things just right
Into the kitchen she travels in morning noon or night
Not a jot or *** of washing up to clean in sight
What a little trooper a little hero to wash and put the plates and cups away
Hope housemate appreciates
Maybe she'll need my marigolds one day
It's magic!!
Ta Darrr!!!

Up the hill to climb
Rocks to step underfoot
Stumble then to rise
Only way to go
Place your weary feet
into my mould
My footprints
shall
guide you
home

She's my crazy friend and I love her
She is who she is make no apologies
She is feisty sassy
She'll have you fall to your knees
She's a heart of gold
Difficult to please
Fire through her veins
Apocalyptic boundaries
Soft to the core though it's a secret for sure
She's the spring in God's forests trees
But that she won't believe

Expression to word the page
Of feelings had to date
All past pleasures and pains
The want to fill up again
The void that has been left deep in the soul
Sensitive to touch
Within a gaping hole
I line my sentiment on paper
Will the piercings ever heal
Love poetic
Ever be felt for real

There's a fire that burns deep from roots of the earth
It will not be extinguished it was grown from birth
From a small seed planted it grew inside
To battle against raging winds and perils to thrive
Burning brighter in adversity
Glowing in the breeze
Flame reaching brighter
To fire with all that it can be
Passion and spark ignite in flame trees
You will not be blown out
Bough before effulgent leaves

In the brilliance of your absence
Heart of stone crushed and spliced
The soft scent haunted in the fragrant darkness of the night
The cold wind blew in with a steady might
The leaves spun and
fell right by my side
The cold
The
darkness
The
love
Warmth
The
light
Just a part of wholeness
of this very
life

Body outer shell
The crust to our earth
Within us all
spirit
of
universe
There is no beginning or end..
..Infinitely
swimming
in
the
cosmos

Wrap your arms around my golden glow
Beg for mercy in your solemn vow
On your knees I'll take you now
Never think I can't

I'm full of lunacy and anxiety
Don't worry
It's only in my mind

Up and lift
Taken with the wind
Splash unto the skies
Spray to cleanse horizons eye

I'm naive
Who?
me??

I worry about you
I wish I could make things right
I wish I could hold you tight and cuddle the night away

Close eyes to the world
Look within
Place your hands upon your heart then we can begin
Feel the pounding of your heart
Feel how it beats for you
Each pulse alive for you
It wants you to live
Show it your love and admiration
Fill it up with compassion
Allow the love you have so readily given away be with you
You deserve to feel your own heart
Give yourself comfort and care as you would a friend
Let any emotions come to light
No judgement attached
Be there for self
Give self time to love and mend
Open your eyes to the world ......
and smile :-D
You are doing your very best <3

Taste the bite
Fill the blood
See night vision
As you should
You may crawl
It's all good
Pinch me now
Let's
open         up

Dancing with my reflections
I'd rather not see
Though I need to open my eyes

In work
Seen as weird and whacky
Get things wrong they come up to smack me
So..
I can only do my best

Learning all the time

Mmmm... I can taste you on my tongue
Filling up with insatiable hunger
I want you in my mouth
Licking each
excitable
drop
Don't you just
love
bagels and cream cheese
Mmmm...
Tell me when to stop ✋

The sky
showers for us tonight
Rays
            of
blue
              Light

I'm getting lessons in patience
I can't wait!!

******* the moon
Chanting alluring tune
'Oh come to me for I can see the world in all its glory
I know the land
The plan at hand
The tell of loves true story
Oh sing to me sweet melody
Of how we drifted as riders in tides of melancholy
How we surfed those bashing waves and held on to meet with shore
How we hold our hope so bold and cry out from core when we are washed to the deep once more
Knowing we will be swept the way we came before
Now I stand on moon so grand
And sing in reign so high
I feel the earth
How world will turn
And mighty power rests to mine side
So conjure up these spectacular skies to shower upon those held below
To lift from ache and past mistake
Rip the chains of grounds sorrow
Rise up!
Fill up!
Release the hollow..
For time is now to Unite!
Ignite!
Spark Up Bright!!
Connect with Divine Light as Sacred Offering
of
Recognition
to
Refined
Mastery
of
Tomorrow

Last night felt a sense of drifting being pulled into another place and time
Fear kicked in so I resisted
Not sure what was happening inside
But as I open my eyes as many times before as images I've seen behind closed doors
A shadow I catch sight but not like ones before
This one has more definition
Black hood can't see face feet not touching floor
I just observe it drift from left to right side of room
Second time in past week hooded figure has approached
I wonder what they want
I know I'm not just crazy and it's not sleep disorder
Too much sense to know things in life normal perception can't fathom
Last one had green face could be a Martian
Oh well I thought as it zoomed out of eyeline  
Into the shadows to disappear before first light
And I slept the rest of night

May trick be played upon your mind
Magik in your atmosphere

Urged to go to this place something drew towards this direction
You took to the stage your voice and song reminding me of favoured plays
I see you
You see me
Though upon your gaze I have to face away
I can't let you see through this cool charade
You might warm me with a look to melt
I feel a weakness wash over me
So giddy
You see

Spilling from your body
The overflow to drain
Washing
to
the
wayside
Sediments of grain
Separation to feed again

My life is not the 'norm' I live with my dog and ex boyfriend
I've been asked questions numerous times on this subject. Usually well do you not want to get back together? We would be if we wanted to. How does that work? With patience and growth. Have you tried dating? Yes we have. Usually followed by a kind of understanding when others see life isn't conventional, or the I'm not sure I could be understanding of that situation. The latter makes me feel strange like I'm a bizarre  odyssey never to be understood or accepted by a future love. Then I come back to me feel the love I am and realise they are just not where I am, why would they understand? It all comes from your own perception and life experiences.  All I understand is two people loving unconditionally in good and hard times being there for the dog we both equally love. Trying to live our unconventional lives as best we can. That I can understand :)

Pointing at your targets like they are the ones to blame
Shooting them down in gargantuan shame
You do not like it when the finger points back to you and you are the one in a minefield of pain

House cold
No heat it's faltered
No hot running water
It's snow outside
Taking it away from me
Take it away from me
******* Take it all away from me

The sky and dreamscape show the signs the symbols of the way
The shapes images and patterns alert mine eyes
To lead to clearer day

What do you do
Do you sleep late
Contemplate and plan the things you want to do
Do you watch movies
Play games
Be silly and act the fool
Do you get up early
Seize the day
Speak kind words even in trial tell yourself it'll be ok
Do you spend time alone
Converse with friends family a lover on the phone
Do you spend time in company you enjoy
Do you giggle like a school girl or boy
Let your hair down
Do you hold it all together when it feels it'll fall apart
Do you paint draw write create art
Do you pick your thoughts intentionally
Protect your space carefully
Do you meditate rest take time out mentally
Do you have a long hot soak
Nourish yourself physically
Do you give yourself a love note
Seek life's antidote
Do you release the emotions to lighter float
Wrap the layers of insulation coat


How do you take care of you?

Do you just read.. a book or two?

Touch my face tenderly
My hands have gone numb