The future is going to be brighter
The future will be full of synergy
Working together to create a positive
healthy energy
I hope you can come along too
Just believe it to be true
You have the talents and heart
to do what you want to do
May your good thoughts
uplift
and
guide
you
through

So far all I have for photo shoot
Is a pair of heels I can't walk in and a thong to show my bare...
Skin
Must go shopping!

Kindness to me
A most beautiful quality

Today I hit a wall where shadowed words fell out
Feeling boundaries are being crossed and fed up of holding out
The writing spills across the barricade that limits
and keeps in place
Something has to change
The rage inside me pains and the ink leaks the bleeding from clasping veins

The hardest people to love
Can teach us
the wisest lessons

So I bought myself a self sabotaging online course today!

I might finish it..

Oh dear universe
You are a marvel
Exploration of you turns wonders into cosmic whirls
A voyage of self discovery
A trove of magnificent worlds

Fields of purple in wildflower plume
Tree on the hill shades cool room
Warm summers day picture perfect scene
Wide open space all in sight glorious graze to belong to dream
Serenity and calm love and foy fill up the pasture with fruitful joy
To sit to spend time in the sun with shared love and basket of sweet and savory picks
What's mine is yours we taste and divide
Feeling the warmth filling up from inside
Cosy up close as watch the sun set
Stars allign to capture moments spent
This place is divine
Sweet home to find
Sentiment to never forget

The more you heal
The more you can see the abuse
You learn to forgive
But see the pattern play on
The ghosting motion when they don't get what they want
The things said in jest to make you the brunt of the joke
The insecurity that lays behind their eyes
The despise of you
You mirror the truth
They don't like what they see
So they would rather remove you from view

I worry about you
I wish I could make things right
I wish I could hold you tight and cuddle the night away

Music plays and hits internally
Chiming to the resonance of growing sound
The tone reverberates into the vastness of the sea
The waves dark and choppy
Plummeting deeper into the darker depths
Down down down past the ice cold layers into the absence a void
A black hole births to a blue ocean of crystal clear and tranquillity
In open air birds eyes fly to witness the waters clarity and whales underwater flight
Shadows and light flow
Polarity and connection
Body forming the bridge to spirit
Feelings come and go
Sharp pains to aches to numb and hollow
Wreck laying below on earth's bed
Restoration in the break
Cut out eye to replace with shimmering lake stone
A glass eye to reflect the world
A mirror
of
the soul

Pain hits me again like a steel knife
I succumb to the trembling inside

In a little room
In a cosy town
With a little vision and a turned up frown
Problems to the wayside
Hills all around
No need to climb them
Just watch

He asked me
"Why don't you show me your *****?"
I told him. .
"I don't have a cat!"

Coming from nothing
to
something
Back to the source of all creation
Between it all a life of contemplation
Restless for a home
Longing
for
salvation

Each time
I
fall
I appreciate more and more

From each other came you
Embodiment of experience
Essence
of
Source
Living
Loving
Learning
Lessons in life's course

The lipstick smears
Pigments of the tears and fears we smudge through various lines
Tasting the colour of passions left
Kiss me into submission
Tickle tongues of sweet crimson
Tantalize with insight
Pin me deep with thighs of mirrored might
Lay raptured in your arms
Hands palm to palm
Lighting our hearts through the night

Growing up felt the odd one out
Too sensitive insecure think rather than do
Said the wrong thing
Wore the wrong clothes
Never told beautiful
Still working on more love for self
But can see now
Others put out their own view
Doesn't mean that words said or not should be true

Fall back on time
so you can
spring
forward
when the time
is
right

Pass the parcel
Unravel the string
The material that holds the present thing
Pass it on
Round and round
Stop and open
You are the hidden item found
Let's play again
When did I join the party
I don't remember when
Did I invite my self
Anonymous send
Or was it a gift from a knowing friend
Maybe find out in the...
Your turn again

I saw a snail and it's spiral shell on road again today
They say in life everything comes back to you

Anxiety shush
You're like a rustle in a bush
The winds will blow where they may anyway
Just flowwww..
Ok

I have felt each tear as dropped from mine eyes
Tracing heartbreak with each line
I have felt the lonely how cold and such sorrow
I have seen with mind the ascended master crucified betrayed befallen by earths blind
Loved until hollow
Darkness wash away the light and wake to bitter morrow
The emptiness that fills your soul when you no longer feel
The scratching at your bones when your skin was left to peel
How your insides died with every breath and hope was all you could hang on to
Evaporated passion and zeal

Now
you know
what it is to feel

No matter which way the blood
let
the heart
was always
heavy
You came along and tipped the scales
The heart was lost it had abandoned its true home to stay with his
Then again..
I was taught how to live
and
bleed

Stepping out the zone of comfort
Doing things wrong
Saying words wrong
Looking silly
I still love me

The striving man
Reaching for everything
Wanting for nothing

I love you
I love youuu..
I Love
You!!
<3

Light free and breezy
Warming in the midday sun
Vibrant roses spring to dance
with the world's pirouetting spun
Grass left wild and pretty growing to the sky
Touching clouds of white fields in open peaceful quiet
Rows of wildflower
as seas of
gold
Flowing to the notion of secrets and whispers that they hold
It was always
Divinely
Summer in her soul

O' Lord All mighty
I give praise to you
You have walked beside me and guided me through
You have been there to warm my heart when I felt all was lost and could no longer go on
You gave me hope when the way seemed dark and foreboding
You gave courage when all around lay fear
Your love Your light led me here
I give my love my faith my joys tears and surrender to you
I cry in adoration
I'm so grateful to have found you
For lessons so far learnt
To feel the connected earth to divine presence
Forever in my heart
O' Holy God

Arm
of
the
sea
Birth
to
thee
Bodies
delivery
Water
markers
anniversary
Swimming
in
sync
with
what will be
Channels
confectionery
of bitter
stroke
sweet
Breathing
swallow
Breathing
deep
Flowing banks of reeds that creep
Rapid current
Floating
slow
Freestyle
Buoyant
aid
for
mile
Treading
water
Tired
Below
Springs of hope as you go
Narrow
vision
Opening out
Sea of plenty
Turn
about
Island on the horizon
Or
to
sails
that
have
spent
No man is an island
Though we can
pretend!

Voices heard in the dark
Speak of light in tongue
Curious whispers of the mind
From spirit of which is sprung

Set in your ways
Sometimes the saddening emotion sways
And that is ok
That too can be what is needed to feel at that time
It opens us up to the thoughts that bind
Inner wound and outer grind
Somehow we become accustomed to the striking chime
The heat that burns in God's sunshine
We are allowed to bask in beauties light
It's not bad
It's just a state of beliefs mind
We can release and receive
Take a day
to be
gentle and kind

The water may be clear but the glass may not
Sweaty fingers smearing the outside container
Muddying up our view of the clean flow  
Tipping away the contents
unless we taste its smooth
cool afterglow
Unclear glasses piled up
in the sink

I realised
I analyse
My analysing

She's my crazy friend and I love her
She is who she is make no apologies
She is feisty sassy
She'll have you fall to your knees
She's a heart of gold
Difficult to please
Fire through her veins
Apocalyptic boundaries
Soft to the core though it's a secret for sure
She's the spring in God's forests trees
But that she won't believe

Depression - Cheer up!
Anxiety - Don't worry!  
Overthinking - Stop!
Panic attacks - Calm down!
Be yourself!  - That's too much!
Shy - You don't shut up!
Talkative - That's really enough!

Opposites attract and likes repel
Together we can be Heaven and or Hell
It's still an attractive proposal/ tender you see
So you be you, and I'll be me
Together we can grow
shape
chase
walk
or fly with wings

Don't just bury the pain
Mask it with pills
The trauma will still be there until you face the ills

Free spirited woman don't you stop
Your dance inside makes body bop
Fire to fire you just can't stop
Live the life of wakeful stock

My mother she didn't get back to me
Not seen her for two years now an anniversary of my birthday
Each year I see the gap of when we last met.

I want to trust and feel secure safe and loved but the wounds have spread into relationships

Cut right open I sometimes want to tear at them other times stitch them up
Does the stitching close them to the air
Does the opening cause more tear
Or does the stitching protect
Or does the opening open up to the fresh

Is love really true for me
I feel it but do I really know how to receive

At times blissful ecstatic
Other times scared erratic
I don't always know when I have it
I've loved so much from afar

Keep ploughing
through the
dark
night
..
.

&
you
will shine
with the stars
of bright
light

Opening up to love means opening up to the possibility of abandonment and betrayal
I've realised I don't want to not try
Everything is a gamble
I just hurt so much sometimes my mind won't shut up
My body pains my heart aches my soul cries and the energy shakes
I've held myself over and over
Working through the feel
Understanding the reason from the experience that has been
Delving deeper into compassion and forgiveness
Bringing in the love I can
It starts inside and then it scales to others
I know we are all connected
I know love is the true source
I just drift off course and need redirecting
The compassion helps

Writing verse in gap in sleep
Last one about love light and holy trinity
I forget the way it goes now it was to form a triangle and say something along the lines of staying with the truth and seeing love in the face of the light of the holy trinity
the triangle was to shape words and bring together in unity
Unfortunately not in time to capture those exact thoughtful lines
Some I find the time some disappear into subconscious mine of mind
Shame I felt they were quite a poignant rhyme
I guess there's a jumbled gist to vaguely remind

So tonight I thought it was a good idea to sing out loud and drink
However for some reason I thought..
Put it out on Instagram..
****!
I'm drunk!!

How can what I see be real
How can the I be the only truth
My awareness is a reflection of me and my mood
It changes as it
                         moves

Life carries its undertone
Quivering in motion to play to its tune
The instrument to our making
Emitting the sound of which chord we strike
Which string to strum
Which song is sung  
Held together by strings in the hands of our creator
Don't fret we are music
Pressed to harmonize

I turn the pages
Read the lines
Flick through the memories felt behind
Feel the words
Hear what's heard
It hits hard
Trails of our broken shards carried with our broken hearts
Scattering the pieces into our life
Stepping forward inching on the sharp blades of a knife
One we have whittled and sharpened ourselves

Need some time to touch the ground