I'd like to write a bit of fiction
But my veins remember being bitten
Teeth sunk with my heart
Shadows stormed and that was just a start
Demons were dark
However death was stark
You are not just a being
But a wholly work of art

My lip bleeds and I taste myself

I will abstain from *** til my love is real
However at the moment alcohol another ordeal
Tonight though I witnessed many trials
No open door
I held opened smiled for a while
Pushed into while keeping with some form of style
Ignored while waiting in the releasing aisle
Letting anger go
Noticing it's pointless file
Still have more to let go of
Though it's in the right time

I am scared of everything

Fear has been a big motivator
(I have to give it some credit)

You give me more pain
When I can't stand
the pain I've got

Memories rush up and flood as soft skin bathes in bath tub
Realise from past love
Never really was enough
At time of course felt so in love
Though some intimacy untimely spared
How many moments did we both respectfully share
Too little with what should of been there
Too many occasions let myself be taken when didn't feel pleasing
Not enough special touches that gave for mind blowing reason
Changing with the flowing season
Water reflects
Washes away the tears

You take my breath away...
Don't stop!
I want your kiss of life

I love you as he drove away

I don't see a future with you to stay

No words as actions tore apart

Lines of lies flying out of mouth only filling up with insecurity and doubt

I'll see you soon

It's hurts so much
Another blood rush
Had enough
The pain it stains
Has me on my knees again
Shaking
Breaking
Cramping up
The mouth of ritu river
should
flow
with love
Birth to death will come and it must be honoured not covered up
The shame always brings
the wounds
fresh
cut

Break the cookie
Pieces fall to crumbs
Eat them all up
Every last one
Did you enjoy
Are you full
Taste was sweet but salty
You can't have more of the same one
The whole has now been
Eaten away
it's
gone

Take the drink
Sip it down
It sinks to
my
stomach
Turns the world upside
down
Sloshing
         around
Spinning      
              Churning              
Hydrat­ing within    
Letting out
with
Clearer softer smoother skin

What you put out
You get back

Be it a
soft

loving
kiss

Or a

Hard Full On
Smack!!

The thoughts
that blacken the day
Strike like a punch
Bruise and lump
Sticking out like a sore thumb
Taking on the fears you become
Insecurities run rampart
Throbbing in the heart
Tearing love apart
Kicking up the dirt
You feel
It stabs
It hurts
You cry
You numb
You succumb
Purging the night sky
In the corner of your eye you see a star shine Bright

Little wolf eyes not yet open
Ears not yet listen
Hearing the wind between the trees
Your time will come
As your sense instinctively broadens
A new horizon in your wake
Waiting for you to explore

I heard that if you go into complete darkness you will illuminate the light

The light goes out and my room speaks

Some times I keep my light on

Atmosphere covered by
Web of lies
Perpetrators covering over vast skies
Blinding masses and bleeding seeking eyes

Let the pain teach me
Let the joy reach me
Let the fear soothe me
When I guide it to love

Take the moment to ease the day
To yourself let time erase
Go to quieter place
Be now
but
let self
drift away..........................

There came a time
When all of past woes needed less attention and hold
To the girl with the bright eyes it came as no surprise
The wise
had to look a little deeper
To aid the flow to useful ways
Citrine to clean
through
murky
haze
With open heart and lighter spirits
the wise and bright eyes could greet
Crystal clear of opposition
and
mortifying defeat  
Keep it safe and recharge if in need
Bring brighter promise
for
dreamer and dreams
to meet

I want to love
like I once felt love
              But something
stops me
in my
tracks.  
Is it
       pride
fear
uncertainty
         wisdom
Am I just too wise to let myself
            fall
and
          plummet
like a train
                            derailed
                               coming off course
Know too much now
I can love
but not like before
My heart beats steady
              without the applause
Am I too scared to set off from the station
                               Standing      
too far back          
                 from loco
motives
           moving
doors

Anxiety stay away from me
You are my shield and my enemy
I hide behind you and I fight with you
Please let me be

Taking each and every last breath
and
not knowing
when
you
can

Breathe



again

I'm dying inside
And I like it
I can see the other side

Starting to feel so uncomfortable in my own skin
I could rip it off
But I won't
Guess I'll just have to learn to sit
           uncomfortably

You can
see
The land and sea
The
earth
from his eyes

Wild or highbush
Connect to thee
Indigo berry
Yes I see
Taste
Fully

Balance

Between

In human
The pain comes through more than the peace
In spirit
The peace comes through
more than
the
pain

Some nights all Hell broke out
But nothing is more daunting than spending the nights alone without
you

If I were
To slit my wrists
The only person it would hurt
is me

This    heart
feels too much
it tries to release
through the

tears

Ashes stoked
Dusty cloak
Within the grains a fire chokes
Smoke covered hearth
Coal is lit
Heating embers in my chest
Built from ash
Build upon it

I am here to hold up
the mirror to your face
Looking deep into its reflected plate
Recovering the beauty of your soul





You are radiant
You glow

Quiet mind
Closed eyes
Look at me
with
one wide eye
Orange glow which surrounds
Triangle perimeter
outer bounds
Observing all from high ground
Meditate on what is found

I was just told how weird I was then I bought some crystals
I can't wait for my new wand
Yipeee!!!

Sempiternal silence it sits beneath the words

The actions of the day

The thoughts left unheard

Peace and quiet

Rest within

Phenomenal woman was she
She never bowed down to brutality
Gave all her worth
Worth was she
Keeping strong
Flying over adversity
Never fading
Embracing Divine Femininity
She met with battles
But she wore her scars like a suit of armour reflecting stars
Intact her kindness compassion and love
A spirit of a Woman
Eternal dove
Giving inspiration to those who've fallen to keep on rising
Hoping singing their bird song to the air and to the sun

My hope
For
good

Vibrations
inside
Electricity lines

But how will I know when it is real
When you and I
Are the only
one
We
long
to  
feel

Serpent Goddess
Wild and free
Wants you to be all you can be
Achieve all you can dream
Not just be the icing be the cream
Cutting away the crumbs you have let yourself eat
Though knowing those crumbs have at times been your main meal
Setting a match to which you have deemed real
A light shone onto your illusions ideal
The burn can scorch and it may hurt as you feel
These pains are gains so you can heal
The rope has been burning for some time
The serpent love kindles to climb

In so much pain
With monthly period strain
Cramps so strong shaking hot and cold
Body trembles
Dizzy
I fumble to take the pills that numb and crumble
My body I want healthy though the agony intense
Tried breathing through it
Helped in some sense
The strength is strong and I struggle to prolong easing defence
So I take the over counter tablets
I don't give myself too much penance
However like change of offence
Not saying it will work with flow
This time I held on and drank slow
Sips of peppermint
Did soothe and improve
I tried it again
And again it worked
Womb an feels content

Always looking to myself as worthless
Struggle to feel deserving
Couldn't look to the good
I was swerving
Weakness became my strength
Shrinking from the light
Hidden comfort in the dark
Feeding on fearful appetite
Worried to not get it right
Now I fail all the time
I try at least to fight
for the step into peace
and the calm in my mind

Although crazy and wild
I sometimes feel
My dreams are more real
than my waking world

Visions going mental
Mind seeing patterns people
Then they appear to me
Numbers on the rampage
Unlocking codes from a string cage

Pushing
Onto
The fragments
Of your
Soul

The sky was grey
Then it turned to white
light and blue

If I were
to
love you
Would you
love me
For
an
eternity