sitting outside even though its 98
drinking *****, crunching ice
and sweating

all these people were my best friends
a few still are
but mostly...we are all so distant
every hang out is a catch up
we all still hold on
try to keep it the same
but we can never go back to those golden years
this group
we will never go back
to the camps and summer days
and driving 7 hours together with
nothing to worry about but sunscreen
how each one of ya'll were my second family
I knew your flaws and traits as well as my own
(I love all the people I've come along a long the way)
but I would give most everything
to fix what the years
have done to us

we will never be just friends
there will always be this soft spot
this tender flesh you left so bruised

my head will always turn at your name
and every time that song plays
it will cut me just as deep as the first time

I will be married
you will be miles away
I'll still be blushing at the way you looked at me

look at me
take me apart
with those eyes of yours
your gaze rips down my seams
heat flies from them
burns me up
please

I'm fighting a constant heartache,
a virus I cant shake
there is a sickness is me
there is a sickness is me
                    a way of thinking
                    a bad way of living
Sorry that I look to you for help
but these hands shake
and they ache for you
boy they do

I never knew a cure that looked so cute
your bringing out this sickness in me
I call your name in and out of sleep
you think that i would ever be annoyed by you?
i must be more subtle than I thought
you are
a song
my friend, where I belong
swallow your fear
pour your doubts into me
ill sing you to sleep

I'm sorry for all the small talk
but I reach for anything
grasp at all straws

I miss you
I miss you
I...

witty banter
pointless flirting
long looks
racing hearts
guilty minds

Like a child
I forget
the times you hurt me
high on the rush
wont this last
forever?

oh but those eyes I love
I have seen them turn cold
and your slight smile
has been hidden from me
I forget about your sting
the ache from not saying the right thing

In a dream
you took all the poems
I wrote for you
and turned them into sound

how you played out my heart
so lovely it was
trembling on the air
you spilled my emotions all over those cords

talented hands
creating and undoing
from their tips sang
my weak words into everlasting song

-Katherine Baldwin-

Do you miss these hot humid streets
or do you miss walking them with me?

Desperate I tried to keep you
while the time ran down to my feet
hopeless I raged
I fought
how I cried

by time stops for no man
let alone me
so soon you were gone
all we were
is now
a memory

Remember that day
My tires blew out on my new car?
That ******* truck ran me into the curb
My boyfriend was out of town
So I called you crying
I need a ride
I'm so sorry

Always it's no problem
and
I'll be there soon
You were my savoir that day
you hugged me
I went on about my beautiful new car
interrupting you told me the car doesn't matter at all

just me.

Any good friend would of done
said the same
but with you
its always the little ****** things.
that break my heart

hey guys.
are you sad?
think of the ghost butts of your past.
When you feel all alone
ghost are there with
their butts

I wanted your innocence
as ****** up as that seems
I wanted to peel back the veil
and show you all that love could be
I wanted to have you all to myself
crisp and new and clean

I don't understand you
you move so strange to me
every word is a wonder

Kindness pours out of you
in waves I can't sail
I've never been to the sea

So many times I've been presented
with a shinny apple of love
but it always fell apart in my teeth

You are different than the rest
A true knight
who so wholly loves me

I never knew
I was such a coward
that I couldn't say the ****** thing out loud

but when you shut the door
and walked inside
I said it to the night instead.

*******!
just your ******* name on a screen tears me to shreds
and it means nothing
and it consumes me
because I'm not allowed to tell you any of this.

****
I want everything from you
I cant be your ******* friend.
because every smile is a splinter
and your killing me
and your killing him.
so pointless
so futile
and it never ******* ends.

I know that I sounded
so put together
when we said goodbye

you always hug me
but you can never quite
seem to meet my eyes

I tell you everything
what my mother said today
and about the cat I saw on the wall
the boy I once loved
every funny story
that comes to mind.

I tell you everything
so I don't tell you whats really on my mind

footsteps
in the right direction

side-stepping my own hearts
misconceptions

Fly back to me
Straight path to my arms

Check my arrivals
You know just where to start

Glace over my flight plan
See just where you are

Land on my runway
Climb right on board

Buckle in my dear
I'll take you anywhere you want

I promise a smooth ride
A destination in my heart

Sweetness to the point
Of delicacy
Hands on hips
While squeezing by

I don’t want to
Move an inch

Don’t need to
Move an inch

So touch me again
Ever so innocently
Beg me to tell you
Its you I need

For you I come to my knees
Sweetness you can have
All of me

Give me rides home
Oh, I don’t mind

For you I beg on my knees
I won’t mind.

Every broken line, every fissure.. I want to smooth
Every single tear you’ve cried I want to make up to you
Every scar you have, every broken bone I want to heal
Every sob let out, every shoulder hunch I want to shine a light on

I want you to see how beautiful you are to me
I want to show you how far I would go for you.
I want you to stand as tall as the man you are to me
I want to crumble and fall and go through it all with you

How I would love to have a family with you
How I would make you breakfast, and kiss you goodbye
How I would be so lonely when you make business calls
How I would curl up to you and we would read
How I wouldn’t ever have to hide how much I’m in love with you

I wont go back
to not saying how I feel
silence might be nicer to your ears
but it breaks my heart

can you read in between the lines
you should know
what I'm really saying is:

I miss you
I miss seeing your face
god what a mess

In my newsfeed
you still
continue to haunt me

statuses that beg
for my comments

pictures that make
my heart drop
and messages
that leave me breathless

oh how much easier my life
would be if I was just
able to click 'block'

Light and fluffy
melts on the tip of my tongue
I worked for hours
and now you are mine alone

I squeezed the lemons
and wiped the egg whites
measured out the sugar
checked my list twice

I cleaned up the kitchen
wiped flour off my nose
turned off the cooktop
and thought of eating you whole