To the end of the earth, we tread.
A million miles pressed into our feet.
It ends here, where you rest your head,
weary and worn with defeat.

This landscape challenges all sanity.
Against the rocks, an intrinsic glare.
This is the end of all humanity
where your weight is mine to bear.

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

you're an ***.
and you deserve to be lonely.
and i hate you.
and i  love you.
and i hate to love you.
and i ******* love to hate you.

but you're just a boy.
and i'm just a girl.
and we're just something that never happened.
and we're just a big, ****** up, mistake.
and we're nothing special at all, really.
and we're going to be forgotten.

but i'm just a girl.
and you're just a boy.
and i'm still in love with you.
and i'm hellbent on hating you.
and i'm looking for another you.
and i'm convinced i won't find him.

so you're still an ***.
and i'm still in love.
but i'm heading out.
and i'll find someone.

I'm so happy I'm sad and I'm so happy I
wanna hit someone
I love you so much that I wanna scream
at the top of my ******* lungs and I love you so much I
wanna hide under the smallest grain of salt

the day i turn 18 i think i'll vanish
leaving behind a puff of smoke
i don't need much, just a bag
full of clothes, money, one picture
the one of us standing before
the cliffs that lead off into the water
under a blue sky in Big Sur
i won't leave a letter for anyone
not my family, friends, or you
i'm thinking i'll find myself
in a place somewhere far away
untouched by every influence
i've been fed since life began
cause right now i can't be honest
about who i am or how i feel
i'm only running round in circles
of never ending questions and puzzles
all the while receiving silence
there are no answers to be found here
but they must exist deep inside
but i can't focus with all the noise
so away is my only choice to go
until then i can't feel need nor desire
no want, assurance, or acceptance
so the day i turn 18 magic will happen
and i will vanish before your eyes

there’s this girl I used to know,
an old friend of mine,
she used to wear her hair in yellow ribbons
and watch the world through eyes so blue they made the ocean look faded.
she told me stories filled with “happily ever afters” and “prince charmings”,
and she believed in the power of God and she told me good always beats evil.
her long brown hair draped over her narrow shoulders like a cape,
and to me she was just as super as any hero ever could be.
she always said that there was a reason we were all here, and that
she was gonna find her reason and God was gonna give her his light.
I believed every word she ever said.
her daddy died when we was twelve years old, and I remember sittin’
with her and crying on her stoop, watchin’ the death limo take her daddy
away like he was a package that needed to be taken to heaven.
she stopped wearing those yellow ribbons after that, and she stopped tellin’ her
stories to me…that made me sad ‘cause nobody at my house ever told me stories.
her eyes stopped lookin’ at mine, and i just about forgot what color they were after a while.
she said that God wasn’t real no more, and that there was no reason to take her daddy like that.
I couldn’t think of a reason either.
her hair stopped lookin like a cape, on the count of she cut it all off one day when
she was real sad.
she told me that she didn’t wanna live no more, and that she wanted to be with her daddy…..wherever he was.
she kept on livin’, but instead of her momma tuckin’ her in at night, Jack Daniels did.
she told me he made the pain go away, but I didn’t understand who he was and how he did it.
we were both too young to understand any of it, but I’ll never forget the day when her light finally came.
when we was fifteen I found her bleedin’ all over her bathroom, her pretty blue eyes rolled back, her hair messy and matted, and a pair a scissors in her hand.  
through all the blood, through all my tears, I saw her in a way I ain’t seen in years.
she looked so beautiful, the way I remembered her before her daddy got taken.
she looked at peace, like she couldn’t wait to get all wrapped up like a present and sent to heaven.
she was with her daddy, and hell, even though nobody else thinks it’s right, I believe that was God’s reason for her.

You spoke of stars,
of incomprehensible numbers.
Of the world, so big,
with people so small.
And I joined in,
laying a perfect descant
above a lustful melody.
We laughed bitterly
about Fate's clichéd cruelty,
you with your
partner
and me with my
plane ticket.
But our laughs complemented each other
flawlessly,
and when my flitting treble
was joined by your playful bass,
the world grew understanding
and I could breathe
a sigh
of relief.

Ocean's surface showed only
tragedy's timing,
but to ourselves we allowed
a sweet smile,
a secret.
Surely Fate,
though Heartache's mistress,
would reform her ways.
Just for us.
For two who never knew they were only
puzzle pieces
until they found
how supernaturally they fit.
Behind our worried eyes
we kept silent the thought
neither of us
truly doubted– that
we
would be Fate's
exception.

And Fate giggled
in the dark, daring us
to try to defy her,
waiting for the opportunity
to prove us wrong.
And with our feet in the sand,
our eyes to the sea,
we heard her
cold mirth,
an empty soprano
brought in with the waves.
Scared, we left.
Gave up beaches for concrete.
Hand in hand, until the memory
of Fate
invaded clumsily. And,
not wanting to anger her,
we refused her
the opportunity
by
never
trying
to defy.

As he slept she noticed the way his lashes fluttered with each intake of breath.
The way his hair fell across his forehead.
He stirred, his baby blues searching her eyes.
"What are you looking at?" He mumbled at her as he pulled her close.
"Nothing..." She whispered into his chest.
As he nuzzled her neck as his breathing slowed as he fell back to sleep with her wrapped in his arms.
“I love you.” She said to his sleeping outline as she finally drifted off to sleep.