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                                                          N

again in fear
and fire fuelled heart, you
rise to chaotic power
of wreckage, you speak, yet all i see is
nothing but your flowers

fire torched fear
frayed along the borders of new promise
where the once sought after fortitude
con-caved into white ash
taken back by the east wind
the origin of decline
for in these pieces
lay with me
my passion and my pride

the disappointment in your vacancy
stretched across the country side
mirrored in my eyes of water
for your body is the sea
your ignorance of these sentiments
writhe between my lungs
and play a rhythm on my heart
foreign and savage
each silent word is screamed
upon my eager ears
and from the line stretched across my face
you can tell I am broken
by the distance at my side
and the silence bites my tongue
heavy and anchored, it remains
for i shall not reach out to you
if my efforts are in vain

you dug your teeth in like an animal
savage and deadly
your claws helping tear open the wound
as you poured in your poison
you used to be so kind
or at least it's how you looked in my eyes
but with every passing day
a piece of your mask faded
revealing the skin of a monster
and although i was warned
and told to run
seek refuge
hide
i did not fear you
for i thought i knew you
but all you ever did was lie
and make believe you were the prey
while your predatory gaze kept a watchful eye

how quickly you sprang
how vicious your jaw
how easily i fell

and somehow it was my fault
somehow i was wading
****** and torn
in a river of apologies
unsure of the meaning
always searching

in time i learned your ways
and i froze
waist deep in the river
unable to swim to the shore
and become dry
because you cried
because you filled my ear
with sweet whispers of "i love you"
i believed you
so i stayed

but now as i lay freely
staring up at the sun
feeling its warmth
on my newly healed wounds
i realized that you never loved me
because love is not a violent word

stone cold grey
awake and tamed to the early break of day
woven with the evenings betrayal
of silent whispers
and forgotten amorous afflictions
i fear that i believed in your tales
for i wear a gullible ear
confiding in your eyes
though the ferocity of your hands
should have lead me far from your grasp
chaos brews within you
and the ever present hint of your smile
rivals your titanous lips  
you, tragically beautiful in your decadence
leave me gasping for air
for i must feed this vice
please, lead me to your burrow of endless defeat
for surely someday in your takings
my fragility will be lost

with every steaming breath
comes an everlasting struggle
to gain control of a lustful heart
aching for the touch of your lips
to barely press upon my mouth
to feel once again
the burning heat of your touch
that turns my cheeks to embers
white hot and untamed
quietly erupting beneath a heaving chest
but you remain a flawless entity
of my grim imagination
for without your kiss
i am left with the chill of your back
and the distance at my side
allowing thin layers of frost
begin to leave their mark

you disgust me
with your polluted tongue
sullied by your malcontent
absorbed in your egocentricities
it must be exhausting to feed your conceitism
how do you rationalize your inflation?
i find it difficult not to trip on your ego
for you must realize your inadequacies
or has your narcissism bloomed early?
continue on your rampage
for it leads to destruction
i know all too well of your kind
the pompous fall in their rise to power
bleak and solitary
i wait for the day when you acknowledge
each transgression

kept from its rotation
the earth would be no longer
just as if my heart stopped beating
i'd fade
until then
i will keep this hole buried beneath my chest
and i will fill it with my blood
to relieve the emptiness you created there
and someday
it will produce only the smallest of gurgles
for it will no longer be thirsty for my blood
and the stitch will remain
waiting to be torn back open again
but i have put it out of reach
never again
will you be able to reach into my chest
and feel my heart throb

All that you are
Before the rain falls
Comes crashing
Down to
Earth. Although we are
Flawed, all it takes is a
Gesture to our
Hearts and
I am won over again.
Just
Keep holding my hand, my gaze with yours.
Lean into
My
Never-ending care.
My love
Overwhelms every
Pore, and with each touch, I
Quiver with joy.
Run with me, away from it all. I can never
Stop feeling for you. With each new
Threshold, breaks free stronger emotions.
Under my breast, I feel my raging heart, overflowing my
Veins. I am
Withstanding, I am able to carry on. We must rid ourselves of these
Xeric conditions and become true to one another, for it is
You and I together. And with that, I promise to love you with
Zeal, forever.

let fly the words
that burn like embers
hot upon your breath
for i too feel the scortch
bandaged lips
and scabbed throat
tongue, thick and swollen
each word infused

amor, amor, amor
my pain is my love
an open eye
to the everlasting mark
you've placed
that i cannot scrub free

why do i love you so
when the rage is taking me?

let our nearest city stains take away remorse
i am your sorrow
in me you will find what you are seeking
in me you will be lost
afloat
dream softly
rest
for when you awaken
i will have gone to destroy your darkness
await my return patiently
as winter flowers weave through frosted flames
for when i come to you once more
your emptiness will have dissipated
your lonely replaced
and in my arms you will find your everything
your place
for in me lies your love
pure and untainted

make me the night
cold and secretive
as winds that whisper quickly to the trees
before moving to the open fields
of long grass and wild flowers
asleep beneath the moonlight
like you
unaccustomed to the darkness
to the emptiness
that fills the sky so forcefully

leave me to the star-filled sky
to the ever present moon
circling behind greyed clouds
for it is here that i seek refuge

so make me what i am
and leave me to the loneliness of shadows
so i may walk in hand with them once more

what sadness is leached from your heart to your brow?
unable to show what you truly emote
scathed in darkness
your treachery lies there
hidden still by the magic you've used to fog my eyes
but i am here
standing in the street, neck craned up at the sky
searching for hope, light
but the moon does not appear
cloaked by your entity, your shadow
what light prevails there, beneath the darkest blanket?
what bought breaks past your distant window?
is it the stillness inside of you rupturing?

someday it shall emerge
grotesquely from your centre
and devour all that remains
and there your body will lie, twitching
a blood-filled cavity
useless attempting to repair the fatal blow

and i will miss you
for now all that remains is hollow
the lifeless look in your stare haunts me
so i will not return here
for in my mind, you died that day
and all that i had ever hoped for
went away with you too

when i look and see that you are not there
i am reminded
and these thoughts lead me back to you
they make my chest ache, intensified beating
i am hot with grief
though i feel cold within
for you carried me away with you when you left
like you always did
every thought leads to you
for our paths were intertwined since the day i was yours
falling was so easy, fast
like i'd never be able to get up
you kept me grounded and alive
when i was terrified, you soothed me
you quelled my aching heart
but when you were ripped from the safety of my arms
i became broken again
everything that made me whole
was ****** into a never-ending black bit
filled with our blood
it's dark here
but i'm with you
for i buried my heart with you that day
and it is forever yours, for you and i are one
i am comforted
only by the thought that someday
you and i will run free together again
but until that day
i will carry on
stumbling and mislead
walking down an empty pathway
following your footprints
i will make it to you one day
for the trail you left is for me alone
i promise
i will not stray from you
for you will forever be immortalized in my memory

your simple curves
and gentle breath
leave me speechless upon your horizon
the thickness of your summer hair
fading into time
your quiet ways
bring me back
to all i ever was

engulf me in your stare
the unfamiliar look that shows such honesty in your eyes
i can't breathe
please let me go
release me from this gaze
gasping for air, i'll beg you
stay with me here
but do not turn your eyes upon my face
for you will see the suffering there
and i cannot bare your pain
for i am barely withstanding mine
weep not my love
i will end it soon
do not gaze upon my face
so that we may live on in this world
smiling upon other faces that reflect our falsities

Burnt eyes like soles of ***** feet
Ravaged by the cold city streets
Amongst the people with frigid hearts, he
Dares to walk once more

i gather silence
in fields of snow
buried beneath
a sea of hard pressed lips
disapproving and chapped
from unfeeling kisses
red as blood
those lips of betrayal
yet i continue to drink the poison
for i have grown immune
for it is something i created
to keep away the pain
my drug
my addiction
they make me feel alive

how thin the walls
they're closing in
a quaking call
and it begins

so soldiers march
their heads held high
fighting with
the darkened sky

for weak and strong
there is no low
they traveled long
for death to foe

when lovers call
he'll pass her by
for he will fall
with battle cry

for on once more
they'll march the path
the deathly roar
of king and wrath

and yet it ends
in merriment
while others call
for chariot

die for your country

draw me like fire
seared across the page
fast lines of red and orange
only a fragment
solitary burn
until morning dew relieves me
raw and open
open and closed
make me the fire
of quickly burning eyes

the ruins of you
built so tall
only to be brought down
by the stones that made you
bleak in the destruction
of your magnificence
the stones of your stronghold
turned to pebble
and lay amongst the ground
once more
your structure was never
meant for intrusion
yet it continues to fall
for the conqueror
i envy your decline
for i wield a weapon of destruction
behind the sealed doors of my tower
fire fueled dreams
and hallowed fears
locked within my adamantine fortress

do not let yourself be drowned
by the absent-filled memory of a lie
smile, like a blooming flower
inviting in the sun
as if every consuming lie
is erased by each ray of sunlight
as if every gust of wind
pulling at your petals does not destroy
but builds strength
as if the rain purifies your heart
and the earth beneath your feet
allows its roots to seep in
and pull the pieces of you back together

i fear
that i am beginning
to feel
the sweetness
of you
flutter
within my
heart

pure and unpainted
is the love i carry
beneath thinly veiled courtesy
light are the breaths
that carry me home
*intertwined

heart caged and unable to escape
you hold the key willingly
controlled
a glint in your eye
please destroy your hold on me
and allow me to keep my heart here
locked and sore beneath my breast
but i am lucid enough to feel your stare
and this fog cannot be lifted
i'm forcing my eyes to adjust
to see the knife i know is in your hand
ready to brand my heart
scar it with your mark
and leave it there
steadily bleeding
the pain is so relieving that i am able to sleep
quietly

please do not be offended
if i speak to you with formality
for i am not a creature of emotion
you'll find i'm quite lacking
while others stain their cheeks with tears
i have added mine to a collection of bottles
for in moments of sentiment
i make myself absent
for it is truly easier than being close to you
understand, please
i do not want to lose you
to the weak-hearted affection
that would consume me if i allowed such things

the shadow of your existence
has stretched beyond my viewing
the sun, eternally set beyond the ashen hillside
for now you reside in darkness
the fog-filled day light no longer enough
to sustain the vision of your hardships

think not of us
think not of mourning
for all we see is liberty

let burn
my fire fueled hope
the empty cadence
of your absence
present upon my tongue
the taste of ash
sown upon coarse lips
dry and unforgiving

heart on a string
kept as a pendulum in my chest
strung along
for it mischievously beats on its own
waiting on distant hopes
of budding lilac flowers
fragrant upon their blossoming
and beautiful still in their decadence
what have you done to me?
i love you
though you are foreign to me
a quiet smile
hidden by your charm
is seldom hard to read
for you allow me to know you
although we've never met
you've captured my heart
though i sometimes yearn to repossess it
but then i am painted blue
for it beats comfortably there
at ease
for it has never felt so rested
but still
i remain skeptical of your illusions
stripped across the walls of your house
your broken stride of confidence, alluring
the way you left your innocence to be displayed
to a host of strangers, captivating
and as i watch you jump
with all of your confidence into the crowd
and drown yourself as an example
you give me courage
you are my confidant
a prospect of dreams
endless and gleaming
upon the break of day

constricted heart
constricted throat
breathless in your malcontent
for the silence between gentle heartache
hands poignantly on your breath
and the happiness once borne between two arms
of twin scorched chests
leave now a burn of vacancy
singed across my breast

again, again
i cannot fly
for my hope is sinking still
beneath the mounds of frozen dirt
beneath your heavy feet

i am hidden
i am safe
from vaguely searching eyes

hark
my beating heart
betraying me once more

plucked the heart from my hollowed chest
and cut the strings like you stole my roots
as if i were your garden of joy
where you replaced in me your own flowers
and helped me watch it grow
but it was in vain
for every flower decayed
with every lie and every cruel word
and soon you slowly dug up your own heart
under the freshly turned over soil
and i began to see you with clear vision
as if new tides washed away old blessings
and revealed your reflection in the moonlight
where i began to hate the heart you held with tainted fingers
long and grim as they gripped tightly around their prized possession
closing ever so slowly, one finger at a time
slowly removing my lightened hand
i beg of you to let go
for i cannot stand your agony that is now burned within me
as if the empty casing of your chest
was hungrily seeking to devour something that was mine
and slowly turned something beautiful
into something hated and ashamed
like the lusted rose after the summer heat
withered and decayed
so now i beg of you
keep what was given to you
for i no longer need it
nor do i desire to attain it once more
for in me it would only relive each aching memory of you
within it i would only be reminded of how hollow i became
of how worthless and lonely i felt with you
no, i cannot bear to see what you have done to it
now that i have forced you to disappear
for i know that from the roots you left behind
a new heart will emerge from the soil
more beautiful than the last, more pure
and with it i will learn from everything i punished it with before
and i will no longer wish for your return
for i lament not for my broken heart
but instead rejoice in a new beginning
one that i will pass on when it is truly deserved
for i know that the sweetest structure will be my heart someday

you met me when i turned to stone
the distant shores of fantasy
reflected in the pools of metallic blue
before the dawn could strike the day
golden and renewed

the redness of closed affection
the white hands of blood
dripping loudly in the caves of echoes
over the silent beat of a protruding heart
adorning serrated edges
for the simple handed man
piercing crooked thorns
into skin as pale as snow
let go
                                      *let go

failure to extinguish every fire you set forth
upon each field of crops
has left each acre desolate
dead roots beneath charred ground
but it is from these ashes
that i collected the strongest seeds
surviving through adversity
and tilled into growth once more

darkened eyes
why do you follow me?
your stare
so grey
near to the early morning light
but instead of shining with the sun
they grow dim

darkened eyes
what has made you so empty?
when i look at them
i see the wells of your soul
breaching into the hollow of your chest
dark
like the sky in winter
that forgot its stars
and the moon is covered
by wisps of grey clouds
hovering above us

darkened eyes
yet to see the sunrise there
i wonder
if the smile placed strategically on your lips
has ever warmed you

cold eyes
absent from the hot embers that burn in my chest
aching
to be set loose upon the city
wild and untamed like i saw you once
but now
you have vanished
along with the flames

darkened eyes
look far from me
for my heat cannot be kept kindled
by the distantly crashing waves and silent winds
biting at my back

the murderer
bent on the possession of a heart
your wish for acceptance is futile
for i can not forgive the static you have formed over me
you martyr, victim
in my brightest day i was your darkest hour
you smothered the heat burning at my lips
with your ill tempered vacancy
your every act filled with falsities
yet mine were twisted to be changed
light clouds morphed into dark shadows
my sorrow was yours

with an uncovered heart
i stand pale against the horizon
the sky
painted in pastel
and before me remains
the muted vision of the grey night
encompassed by your luminescence
for it is as if
i have been awakened
by the colours of your lips
the tranquil breath
which lies peacefully in the night
that has captured me with such fluidity
that i dare not flee
for surely i would drown
without the surrounding arms
that i have claimed
as home

tell me who i am to you
if i am anything at all
am i the setting sun
diminished to the evening shadows
or perhaps, the early sunrise of soft pastel
slowly awakening the light
upon the fragile landscape
maybe i am the night
cascading across the sky
like the salted ocean tide
the stars of my body
creating a weathered map to your arms
tell me i am like the water
even when you know i am nothing
compared to the vast seas
for you cannot create a route on your magnificent ship
to the undiscovered islands of my soul
for they are buried where no one can travel
so that i may remain the siren
and you a fantasy
that will never leave its pages

anguish set sail upon a dying ship
cast off to secluded land
eternally lost at sea
to the wake of forgotten woes
for in your stride
i find again my strength
as if your arms
are part of me
a guide to deserted land
that has only seen
the resembled marks of weary feet
and innocence

you'll never see clearly
through clear eyes

let me play with broken fingers
of shadows dressed in light
though effervescence vainly seeks
meaning in the night
for in the day, not cloaked by fear
are you, coiled to strike
unknowingly, your savagery
and mine grow more alike

feelings fade
like the dull horizon
diminished by the sun
shades of orange
slowly turn dark
and bare themselves
like starlight
to the evening skyline
and the constant clamour of the countryside
decrescendos
into the babbling brook
and soft chirps of frogs
until once again
sleep comes
and a new morning
brings different light

hoping to find meaning in the bottom of this bottle of whiskey
but i am lead again into a blur of nothingness
one more glass, one more meaning
i swear i'll find something besides dead eyes and sullied breath

tear ducts of desert sand
let not these sentiments
drift down a carefully masqueraded face
for the land has already drunk
and surely you would drown it
with near-sighted vacancy
and tomorrow on your mind

the lane is ending
the chaotic plain which i've wandered
calloused feet
bloodied and scabbed
have at last reached
the fields of your keep
the dense forest of your surrounding arms
greet me with every piece of earth
plastered to my feet
easing the ice
easing
eased
at last
i have found peace

let light in darkness fall
for you are the sun and i the moon
as you descend upon me in your radiance
like the sun cresting the hills at dawn
strewn across the bare morning sky
the stars faded into your eyes
casting delicate constellations
that rapture my heart in waves
and everytime i lose myself there
drowned by the sweet surrender of speech
as if all i speak is the red sea on clear water
painting the sun with shadows from my back
where instead you create shade from harrowing night

extinguish not your light upon the brink
for in the night without your luminous beacon
i cannot awake

a single drop resides
hovering gently in pools
the holes that were remaining
sewn, but forcibly, they're leaking
slowly down the ledge
silent in their wake
too soon, they'll be filled
brimming with destruction
and leave shades of pale complexion
reddened by their maze