I didn't think this was possible
I didn't think this would happen
I didn't think I would change
I didn't think I would be better

I knew I was going to push through
I knew I would make it happen
I knew I would change
I knew I was going to be better

I believe in myself
I made this happen
I made myself happy
I love myself

I have them
I don't mean to get them
They just suddenly appear
I don't know how it happens
It just does
Some are worse than others
I can't change that
It just happens
Some hurt
Some are just there
Sometimes they are big
Sometimes they are small
They are just apart of me
They are just there

It all started when you cheated on that test
Then it escalated
It got worse
You started cheating on people
The people you promised the world
The person you loved
And now she's gone

You told me I couldn't tell my friends that I loved them
Because
You where the only one I could love

You told me I wasn't aloud to wear makeup
Because
Natural was better

You forced me to talk to you when I wasn't in the mood to
Because
You wanted the power

You told me you would **** yourself if I left
Because  
You where scared no one would love you any more

I left
Now
The truth is out

Yes
We've been talking for a while
And yes
We've held hands
And yes
We've huged for prolonged periods of time
But today
Today was something special
Today
You pulled me in and kissed me
My heart
It raced a mile
Cause
That one kiss was something special

I don't know how to anymore
I don't know what to do anymore
The one thing that makes me happy
I cant even focus on
The one thing i have to focus on
I don't even know how to do
I just cant anymore

It hurts
I'm numb  
I saw you
I cried
I tried to forget
It didn't work
I can't see what went wrong
I'm sorry
I'll just stop talking
I'll go back to my shell
I'll leave
It's okay
I get it
I'll be fine

It all starts with
Hey
Then we start to talk
Hey
Then the feelings are caught
Hey
I like you
Hey.

You asked if i would wait
For you
You said everything wasn't right
For you

You told me
I was the reason
To get out of bed in the morning
To be a better person

I am your reason
For you
And I'll wait
As long as I have to

Your the one I want
I'll wait
I'll help you get better
I am your reason

Hey
You
Yes
You
I really like you
I know
It's fine
I didn't expect anything
It's all cool
Yeah
I'll just go live my life
Lets act like none of this ever happened
Friends
No
Okay
Bye

I know the probability of you seeing this is slim
But
I want you to know that I like you
A lot
Every thing about you
Is perfect
Even your imperfections
I know
That doesn't make sense
But
You're always talking about how you want to treat a girl right
And
How you want a girl to treat you right
And
You always tell me what you want in a relationship
And
Everything you describe is perfect to me
And
you know how to always cheer up a room
I don't get it
you are a funny loving guy that gets treated wrong
I
Want to be the one to finally treat you right
Only
If I knew how you felt
But
you're always sending mixed signals
I
Want to tell you how I feel
But
I don't want to loose our friendship
And
Banquet is coming up
And
Everyday I hope you ask me
But
I know you won't
So
For now
It will be
Just a crush

Late night phone calls
Late night snacks
Late night sole searching
Late night bad decisions
Late night star gazing
Late night breeze
Late night sadness
Late night love
Late night joy
Late night songs
Late night games
Late night
Midnight

January
She is the start
She is the failed resolutions
She is the cold

February
She is the love
She is the new relationship
She id the hope

March
She is the gold
She is the green
She is there

April
She is the joke
She is the rain
She is the heartbreak

May
She is the beauty
She is the spring
She is the new beginning

June
She is the happiest
She marks the best time
She is a party

July
She is america
She is warm
She is the summer

August
She is the end to the fun
She is the start of something new
She is horrible

September
She is the beauty
She is the hardest
She is the Autumn

October
She is the scariest
She is the start of the end
She is the cavity

November
She is thanks
She is acknowledgement
She is the leaves on the ground

December
She is the snow
She is winter
She is the end.

It's a lot to ask
I know
But I do have a dream
A wish
A hope
A want
I dream of the they're still together type of relationship
I wish for years of love
I hope for the long nights
I want you
But i know that's a lot to ask
It's fine
I'll just keep it to myself
You don't have to know
I'll just keep dreaming
And maybe just possibly
My dream will come true

I fell into your trap
The trap that shattered my aching heart
The aching heart that fell for you

I spent days hurting
Not moving
Not feeling

Then he came along
He picked me up
He held me tight

I found the light again
I was given the tape
I was given the glue

Then he helped
He put the pieces together
I glued them in place

My heart fell again
But this time
He caught it

He is my love

What can I say
I broke the heart that took me in

He was a rusher
He said those three words

I wasn't ready
I don't even feel the same

Is it cause I'm not over the one that hurt me
Or is it because I'm hung up on the guy i can't get over

Feelings are dumb
And I'm exhausted

I don't have motivation for what I love most
I don't want to practice anymore

I want to curl up and cry
But I can't

I'm stronger than that
I compress my feelings

And continue to be happy
Cause its the best thing to do

I gave you my all
I was vulnerable with you

Why?

You took everything I had
You shattered everything

Why?

We did things
We loved

Why?

It was fake
It was a lie

Why?

You broke my trust
You stole my love

Why?

I'm sorry
I'm a mess

Why?

I'll go
I'll be okay

Me
I am my world
But I need a sun to keep me warm
I have all my planets
But I need you
I need my sun

I've never had one
But maybe one day
Maybe this is finally my year
But then again
Probably not
I doubt its gonna happen
I'm just gonna start this year like all the rest
alone

why?
did you fake everything?
was it me?
where you not happy?
did other people bring you to this?
is there someone else?
did i annoy you?
do you know you hurt me?
did it hurt you too?
did you really mean it?
was it for the popularity?
did you want something else?
was i not enough?
are you going to come crawling back?
do you know that i'm crying myself to sleep?
was i a joke?
did my past affect it?
could i have stopped it?
could i have done something differently?
did you want to hurt me?
is there someone else?
how can i stop hurting?
why does it have to be like this?

Every day has a routine
Get up
Take shower
Make coffee
Do makeup
Get dressed go to school
Go to practice
Go home
Eat dinner
Go to bed
Repeat
Then something happens
Your routine
It changes
Someone gets added in
You can never get this person off your mind
You always want to talk to him
And he becomes part of your normal
He is your normal

It all started that day
Oh that dreadful day
All I was trying to do was get it over with
Then you showed up
Of course you did

You where a stranger
It was gonna stay that way
It didn't

I dreaded the class
The one class that we had
I blame myself
If I didn't take that class
I wouldn't know you

But now
I can't get my mind off of you
All i do is think about that class
And dread every second of it

I like you
I can't stop falling
Please catch me
Please

We spoke
You gave me your number
I'm really falling now

I love you

She is a straight A student
The prettiest in the class
She's always smiling
She always has a conversation to be held
She is the one they look up to

But what they don't know
She goes home every night to her drunk father
Who beats her and her mother
They are forced to walk around in public like nothing happens
They live in a run down home that nobody sees
And once she is alone she weeps
She is overwhelmed
But no one sees this

They all see the straight A student
Who's the prettiest in the class
The one everyone talks to

I'm scared
To be alone
To be without someone

I'm scared
To walk alone
To lay in bed without someone

I'm scared
I'll never find the one

I'm scared
That it'll never work out

I'm scared
of crying without a shoulder to cry on

I'm scared
I'll never run into the perfect one

I'm scared

Everyone takes a piece
No matter who they are
Everyone has my heart

After a while it takes a toll
It drains me of all of my energy
It takes away my life

The pieces of my heart help
They make people happy
They fix problems

I have nothing left
Someone stole the little bit I had left
I hope that someone is happy

They said I was a ****
because I lost my virginity before I was 18
They said I was a ***
because I had a new person every month
They said I was asking for attention
because of the cuts on my arms

But they don't know
The man that took it from me didn't care
And sometimes it takes a while to find the right person
I found him
And the cuts
They give me pain
So I can remember how to feel

What is this
This thing that I am feeling
I can't explain it
I've never felt it before
This feeling could it be something new
Whatever it is
I can't help but enjoy every second I feel it

You've watched me in the best of times
You've helped me in the darkest of times
I love you
Nothing that happens between us will never stop that
I trust you with everything
I tell you everything even when we're not together anymore
Tristan James Wakley
You are my best friend
And you will never not be my best friend
Thank you for staying by my side
Thank you for being my rock
Thank you for being my everything
You are truly one of a kind

I have my up's
I have my down's
Lately it seems as though I'm drowning
I had one amazing thing happen
But now I'm falling
Into the deep dark abyss of nothingness
I can't feel
All I can do now is search for the rope
The rope that can pull me out
Out of this deep dark abyss
I need the hand to save me from drowning
I'll keep searching for my up

What he doesn't know is she goes home and overthinks
But what he doesn't know won't **** him

What she doesn't know is his home is broken
But what she doesn't know won't **** her

What he doesn't know is he's the one she wants to talk to
But what he doesn't know won't **** him

What she doesn't know is he wan'ts to see her
But what she doesn't know won't **** her

What they don't know is there two halves of a hole
But what they don't know won't **** them

All these words i keep saying
They are nothing
They mean nothing
No one listens
I call for help using these words
Yet no one listens
help

You said you loved me
You said it was us until the end of time
And now
I'm crying myself to sleep  
Cause i can't get you out of my mind

It's funny to think
You walked into my life just one month ago
Yet everything about you happens to make my days better
Just one month changed everything about everything
I have found joy in the lovable self of you
We found each other in the perfect time
I can't help but find myself falling
I'm falling so hard for you
You make me feel so special
I can really say I would do anything for you
<3