The way he looks at me
The way his voice resonates in my body
The way his skin feels upon mine
The way he can have deep conversations
The way he wants to keep learning
The way he makes me feel at ease
The way he let's me open myself fully
The way he makes the butterflies soar
The way **I love the idea of him

How fast it seems that darkness comes
Was it not just minutes ago was shining the sun
Now the bare trees have become black ghosts against the silver sky
The water that was just shortly before blue
Now murky and black in hue
The sounds of animals that were once scurrying about
Now all bedded down, silence abounds  
Was not my heart just lit with a candle of light
Snuffed out quickly with a whispered goodbye
Yes, how fast darkness comes
When just moments before all was bright

The sun has set
The moon she rises
Trying to be seen through the selfish clouds      
Fight moon fight!
Fight to show the world your beautiful face
For yours is soft
Like a forever lullaby
Of forever grace
Where the sun's is harsh
And hurts the eyes
So fight moon!
Give us your light!
Bathe us in the lullaby of the night.

I wish I never searched that day
                                        for old photographs
Of times from far away

I wish I never sent the first hello
                                                    just saying hi
Do you remember that time from long ago

I wish I never would have suggested
                                 let's do dinner this night
I only meant the water to be tested

I wish I never saw your face again
                          though it was hard not to do
I've been seeing it every Sunday weekend

I wish I could remember
                       why it was gone the first time
Did we truly leave a sparked ember

I wish the butterflies to escape
                  how they rage when you're near
They've been for years that way

I wish I knew you want me too
                                                     like I am
I wish to be held next to you

"Mommy! Mommy!
Look what I drew!"
upon the page is a heart
He leans in to whisper in my ear
*"It's a picture of me and you."

Skipping beats
Labored breath
Restless mind
Put now to rest

Longing calmed
Worries squelched
Under gaze
Skin melts

Crimson red
Blood flows
Cut too deep
Sees the soul

Does not leave
Forever stays
Blood soaked hands
Held till morning rays

Heart put right
Unsure no more
This is right
Felt in core

There is a dark man out there.
He stands beneath the light.
He is there one moment the next, vanished from site.
I fear for myself, so I lock the door.
I know that this is a foolish act.
He is the dark man,
No lock can keep him out.
For as I lay in my bed, I hear the steps.
Heavy and male they sound.
Striding with purpose towards my room.
The thing is, I live alone, and I locked my doors.
I hear the creak of the floorboard beneath his heavy feet.
The one that will enter my tomb like keep.
He is the dark man.
No lock will keep him out.
He is the dark man, there will be no time to scream or shout....

Is it not enough............

            you hold my world's desires

             *i've blossomed like a wildflower

           that the moon at us she smiles

       you have awakened my inner wiles

                             my heart beats for you

                      this ember burns true

         my body aches for your touch

                  of you I cannot get enough

*Is that not enough to keep you....

There is a difference between wanting and needing.
To want is to have to have it, but be able to do without
To need is to having to have it, to live, to survive
I don't need you, I want you.
My heart can still beat and I can still breathe without you.......
Right?

The boys are back in town!
Actually just in my house
The dogs are crazy happy too
The boys and them
Running around, letting out shouts
Laughter fills the rooms again
Along with it my heart
I shed a tear of joy just now
This week I shall not hear
The mournful cries of the lark

Teetering  on the edge
Standing on the end of a chair with a rope around your neck
The tip of the knife poised
Now it's all a real choice
Gun is cocked and loaded
A hair trigger that won't take much goading
Are you ready for this step?
Are you ready to paint with your blood yet?
Are you ready for the mournful screams and wails?
Of those you left behind because you thought you failed
Go ahead,
I'll be the demon on your left  
I'll take away the pain and choices you regret
But in its place I'll give the pain to those dear to your heart
Instead of you, I'll tear them apart
I'm your mischievous demon you see
Where there is dark, there I'll be
Or would you rather me be the angel on your right?                                              
There to tell you all will be alright  
Your pain will stay
Along with the choices you have made
But Those you hold dear      
I will help keep healthy and near
I'll be there to show you light
That in the end you need to choose the right    
Fore the time is now!
Make that choice!
Pick one of us to be your voice..

Tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll write
For tonight is just too lonely
Tonight I shall not put words down upon this paper
For the loneliness of this night is meant only for the crickets
the stars and the moon
Tonight is for the heartbreaks
And lost loves anew
No, I shall not write tonight
I shall write tomorrow.

I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
           I thought I could do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
           I thought I could be strong enough
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget you
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this 
          I thought I could forget your voice
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget your touch
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget our love
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I was wrong
I can do this
I can do this
*I can't do it any more.....

It has been asked
Why...

      why

Why do I stay
What do I see

         why....

I cannot say
These feelings that are there
For the words to express
*have yet to be made