i wrestled with GOD
back and forth
why he safe me one more year
no one to share with

all along you waited for me

the warmth of the sun
the light of the moon
this you are to me
your presence give me hope
your laugh bring me joy
your smile reassures me
love unending
unknown to me
until now
i love you
bibo, my bibo
always be my bibo

A teenage giggling love
Being lived by 30 somethings
This time is differant
This time its real
True blue love

In your arms i feel safe
You only second to mom
Your smile reassures me
Your touch ,i know you desire me
You have become home

You make the stars twinkle more intense
The moon is enchanting
A love romance not an inlove romance
I embrace the night
Lovers meet and passion ignite

Lean slender body and limbs
Looks it not but strong
Pulls me, bossy and hungry
Kisses demanded
My full attention
Electric charges rush through the body
Hands speak no words
We cannot resist

Soon being apart the usual 2 nights
Torture it will become
Bibo cranky fussing and biting
Put a ring on it
Together forever

i also need help
can't help my quills
please don't mind the pain
i try to keep them flat
old memory confuse new emotions
my defenses flare up
kicking screaming and fussing
i draw blood
no one wants to come close
afraid
alone in the knife drawer i live
exiled
deemed dangerous and edgy
these 6 enclosures
no windows
alone
my stubborn nature
refuse to yield
i will over come
a home i made
i love my home
my comfort and haven
small heaven to me
no porch light
no second chances
forgiveness lives next door

why do i feel empty
why do i feel used
nothing was forced
my true feelings betray my inner monologue
how to determine to keep holding your hand
at a loss for words and action , i am
can you sense my inner turmoil
do you pretend not to notice
afraid for the answer that lies between the murky
usually crystal clear free flowing thoughts
maybe my tiredness the cause
a flash flood
what have i done
stupid impulsive make believe queen

loving you has always been an endless struggle
but you are all i have
circumstance forces me to acknowledge this
your death will leave me orphaned
my children will never know their gran parents
your house will never vibrate with children's laughter
the hand we are dealt , struggle
everything comes to an end
courage needed to continue on a new path
unknown below my feet
cautious
we fight hard
we battle fierce
we never bonded
no house to be found
but i love you
you the start of my bloodline
you failed me
time heals but trust broken cannot be restored
but dare i say
love covers all
my inner turmoil over come by fear of being alone
fresh the memory of heartache so complete it nearly killed me
completely alone on my path
to me i was dead just breathing

once i n anger and hatred
i prayed for your last breath to make haste
i longed to be free of you
considered the blood curse on my life
endless source of suffering in silence
now i fear the moment your last breath come
i pray it evades you
for when it depart

orphaned i will be