Don't  confuse conformity with happiness
Being conformed to pain is nothing but a cheap version of being okay

Love, your greatest pleasure, will turn into your biggest pain,
People will **** you without trying to **** you,
And the sweetest words will become the most bitter…

                              - F.V.

You're not afraid of love,
You're afraid of heartbreak

You're afraid of being so high and then being brought so low...
Afraid of the idea that everything that goes up has to come back down, the nature of gravity doesnt allow otherwise...


But My Love,
In case you didn't already know,
Love defies nature...
                                          
                              - F.V.

When it comes to an end you wake up realizing
You don't need to do it anymore or be that person anymore
Sometime you become someone you don't understand
Being let go set free from something that was not right
The beginning was tough but it got better always a battle
The struggle that lead to no where moments that made you stronger
That chapter has come to an end a new beginning
Don't look back or try to pick out the positive
It's not meant to be so move forward no going back
That mindset did nothing before and nothing now
Open to change let go of the past live within the moment

We all have that person who admire from a distance
The fear of getting to know them because you think highly of them
what if those feelings fade or not what you made the person out to be the fear of disappointment
Or what if you can't live up to those needs and those desires
Saying hi makes your day, making eye contact feeling those vibes
Nervous not sure what to say but look forward to the social interaction
Know in an environment but outside of that world be interesting
The fear of rejection but being accepted and mixed emotions hard to set straight.

I knew I was ****** once I started feeling much too comfortable, much too safe around her
I knew I was ****** once she was the only thing on my mind, even when I was high
She has overpowered each and every one of my thoughts,
She's the conqueror of my mind
I can't even write about anything that isn't her anymore, she has become my only topic
I knew I was ****** when every time someone hugged me I wished it was her instead
All of a sudden everything reminds me of her
All of a sudden I wish I was doing everything with her
All of a sudden everything smells like her,
I even smell like her
Her smell is penetrated on my skin
All of a sudden I believe in everything I didn't
Or more like,
She has me believing in everything everyone else made me not believe in
                          
                           - F. V.

"You do realize you're crying right?", I asked kind of trying to diminish and ridicule her tears and her claim of emotionless
"Yeah", she answered, her pupil dilating
"Then you mustn't be dead", I said, with a little snigger at the end

Why must people relate so much pain to emotionlessness?
Why did she tell me she was emotionless when she was drowning in her tears

Maybe it was because pain had over-powered every other feeling
Maybe it was because so much pain simply made her feel like she was practically going to die, and when you're dead you're not suppose to have emotions anymore, so she jumped to that conclusion.
I mean it must be terrible.. To be dead, and be aware of it, and feel it, and still have emotions
What would be the point of death if awareness is involved?

But all this was ramble

As I'm writing this I become aware that pain is a feeling, not an emotion. "You feel it all over your body"

We turn physical pain into mental pain and that's when it starts turning into an emotion

This is when I start losing my ****...
What makes me think I can file my thoughts?

you've
finally
snuck
your
way
under
my
skin
I can feel just how badly this will go

If I had a chance to choose my way of dying I'd say of a heart attack when making love on a cold October night, but then again.. I'm pretty indifferent to the cause of my death since regardless of the cause I'm going to die, we're going to die..