Emotionless, flowing through a crowd of faceless souls
A net of interactions that I am no longer a part of
Each second I feel less and less, until I'm an empty vessel
On the edge, brain going toe to toe with the devil

Rotting amygdala in the cranium, insanity
Not a single shred of dignity or humanity
Running off no sleep, tobacco and black coffee
No spirit left, except the pack in my back pocket

I want nothing, but need everything
all decisions past made to lead to serenity
Going with the flow has left me alone with no one
Why am I still here, where the hell am I going

Long nights, long days, pretending I'm something I'm not
Self deprecation and loathing patterns, indigenous thoughts
Result is cold and heartless, riskless life to avoid the loss
No solution horizon, mentally falling apart

Fed up, hallucinations gone and messed my head up
Yesterday is forgotten but tomorrow already dreaded
Depression has blossomed, guilt trips and sunken ships
Internal warfare, life is chaos amongst the midst

On the sweet wind
Of a lovely spring day
The kite dances on the wind
Up it flies
Like my spirit
In the wind

The kite silhouettes
Against the sun
The light glistening
Off the thin plastic
Of his flimsy wings

But together
The kites
Dance and dance
In the spring day sun
Shining down
So comforting
With my fiends
You can't tell
Which is cozier

The sun...
Or their love

Sometimes I just want to be reckless like folks my age tend to be.
Go out to bars, have too much to drink, find a friendly stranger to end the night with.
Will it help fill that empty space inside me?
No.
I think it would make the missing piece grow out of control.
I don’t want to be consumed by this.
This nothing.
Advice says I should be the one to make myself whole, but I’ve doubted that from the start.
Why does everyone think I’m such a strong person?
I don’t feel like it, not now.
It was easy to be strong when things were fine; I thought I could handle anything.
It seems I was wrong.
But I’m trying.
Really I am.
Yet my thoughts are inked with a poison.
Hate is far too controlling so I have caved to its powers.
I want to crush something.
Use my fists and expel all this aggression out on something that doesn't deserve it.
That’s probably not fair, but I've had enough of all this.
I've had enough of him.

Once proud
Sullen trees
How sadly hang
Their sullen leaves

Long lived
This mighty oak
But soon it is
To finally croak

Memories sweet
Memories stale
If only it could
Share it's tale

Hark! How it would sing
And how it should weep
A life well lived
His wisdom deep

Lonely now
But not before
Companions plenty
Alas, no more

One by one
Birds took flight
All flying south
To warmer light

And so left
The cheery children
But so remained
The loyal Falcon

For him
Life was dear
And for this tree
He did care

Oaken memories
Days of joy
His best friend
Was but a boy

This boy was young
He couldn't pretend
Doomed he was
To outlive his friend

All he wanted
Until the End
Was to be there
Through thick and thin

His last winter
Has arrived
Death of a tree
It made us cry

On this night
The sun set right
The spirits ready
To perform the rite

Deep chanting
Whispering wind
The tree was ready
No sin left to rescind

Shining brightly
The silver moon
And with the tree
It did commune

Softly singing
In charming harmony
Playing proudly
His past so truthfully

Colors faded
Leaves fallen
The trees final day
Has come and gone