I stare.
A picture.
Taken long along before me.
In your youth.
So young.
Happy.
How Grandpa?
You are old.
You have no more hair.
Wrinkles in the skin.
I understand.
You are kind.
Those blue eyes, so gentle.
So patient and loving.
I look at you now,
A torn knee,
Grown kids and teenage grandchildren.
And I wonder,
how much I'll miss them,
Those blue eyes.
Like robins eggs, now dotted white
They used to be so clear and blue.
I see why she fell for you.
So handsome,
My grandpa.
I am not ready,
For when you leave this world.
I want you to meet them,
my future children.
Share with them the joy and love,
You gave me.
Bye Baby Blue,
Your time was up.
I was never prepared.
But yet,
I was.
I look at eyelids.
you laying on mahogany wood.
I hear pastor say a prayer,
about the homestead.
And I see a blue robin.
I think about it's eggs in the nest.
I hear chirps.
The sun shines.
It's you.
And you love me.
Goodbye Baby Blues.
I love you.

Pain is the fine line between reality and depression.
It is the temptation to pick up the blade and cut again.
It welcomes the buzz that alcohol brings;
Pain is the lighter that helps me light my vice.

Pain is the sadness that hides behind a fake smile.
It is the hollowness that dulls the eyes.
It sprinkles bitterness in my laugh;
Pain is the scars that defile the body.

Pain is the cold winter wind that blows at night.
It is the darkness that chokes me when I'm alone.
It poisons my dreams and taints my sleep;
Pain is the weight that encumbers the beginning of each new day.

Pain is the need to call you on the phone but knowing you won't answer.
It is the "seen" icon followed by no reply.
It ties my stomach in a knot when I think of you;
Pain is feeling ignored and fading away.

Become part of the mindless masses
Be secure in your lack of identity
And then wake up when you are brave enough to be insulted

And here I sit
Refreshing my email
What do I expect?

Poetically falling apart.
I really don't care.
Even if...
You should save yourself for this sinking ship.

Don't forget to laugh
when you fall down the stairs.

Don't forget to smile
during the car crash.

Don't forget to grin
as the sky falls.

Don't forget to cry
when the clown trips.

Don't forget to love.
Even when the stars are not aligned.

Forget everything.