When you open your eyes
And you see his staring back at yours,
Eyes almost nonexistent
Because his cheeks are raised so high
And his smile is so big,
His eyes watering at the sight of you,
You have never seen eyes so compassionate
And
Full of love like his.
And when he opens the door
And you coming running to greet him,
You can feel his essence mixing with yours
When you hug
And when he takes you out to eat
And you’re stuffing your face
Whilst he is softly smiling at you
Chin in palm,
You can’t help but smile back
Mouth full of food, mid chew
And when he picks you up
And swings you around
His day getting better just at the sight of you
You are reassured that you’re his light in the dark
And when he walks to the doorway,
Setting his bags down
Lips in Heaven,
But his eyes in Hell
You can’t help but feel…
Upset?
Sad?
Depressed?
Naïve?
And when he says, “I’ll see you soon.”
And turns to leave, eyes looking back at you
You begin to feel holes in your soul
But they are replaced by the bad pieces of him
And when he doesn’t come back
And when he doesn’t see you again like he said
And when he doesn’t comfort you while you’re crying
Because,
He
Is
Not
There.
This isn’t a story about a boy.
This is a story about a man.
This is the story of how my father broke my heart
Before any other boy had the chance
And how it was never repaired