i guess it's ok with me that i don't have friends.

my legs turn into jello.
my heart beats faster.
and my awkwardness could probably be felt
by Obama when he's taking a nap.

i swear
if i was a turtle,
i would own that **** and be antisocial
cause i'd have this awesome shell.

i don't know. i guess i can just write poems all day
and wait for that one special person
that finds interest
in my incredibly boring life.

but until then,
i'm just waiting.

-k.m.

i wonder what became
of the girl that threw butterflies to the rain
and shattered pretty vases
so her heart could relate.
who buried her sorrows
deep in the bottom of a bottle
and never woke up again.
sick of being a burden on everyone's shoulders,
she stretched her arms to
the wind on the boats and ponds
and longed for enough despair
and enough bravery to finally
set herself free.

what became of the girl whose solace grew bigger everyday?
her desire for life ate her away.

-k.m.

when i heard that you were in the hospital
i visited.
confused as to the reason why
you were there
since no one would tell me.
when I walked in
there were bandages on your wrists.
and I felt sorry.
for every mark
meant a time
that I could've been there for
you.
but I wasn't.

-k.m.

look.
in my opinion,
the best thing you can do is
find a person
who loves you for exactly who you are.
good mood,
or bad mood...
ugly,
or pretty...
handsome, what have you.
the right person is still going to think
that the sun shines out of your ***.
that's the kind of person
that's worth sticking with.

-k.m.

depression does not always mean
beautiful girls shattering at the wrists.
a glorified, heroic battle for your
sanity.
or mothers that never got the chance
to say goodbye.

sometimes depression means
not getting out of bed
for three days
because your feet
refuse to move, in fear
that they will shatter on impact
to the floor.

sometimes depression means
summoning the willpower
to go downstairs
and check the mail
and that will be the most impressive thing you've done
that whole week.

sometimes depression  means
staring at the ceiling for hours
lying on the floor
because you cannot convince your body
that it is capable of movement.

sometimes depression means
that every single bone in your body
aches
but you keep trying to move
yet you can't.

sometimes depression means
ignoring every message, text or call
for an entire month
because yes,
they have the right number
but you're not the person they're looking for,
not anymore.

-k.m.