that passion for gods house
which consumes me
scorches me like a walk-in freezer
cools me like a burning effigy

my passion for where his spirit lies
swallows me whole,
as if it is a whale and i am jonah

i will fight for his spirit’s sanctuary
by any means, valuing my life
over it

i will fight for who it lies in,
and who he is

there we sat on the sports hall floor
talking about everything and nothing.
silently stoking the flames of
my heart, with every glance and side eye,
like throwing a bone to a hungry dog

i know im not what you wanted,
and for that, im sorry.
but can’t you get it, i need you
more then i ever thought i would

need you, i need you
i need you to understand that
you can’t just run away from me,
and expect me to move on.

you may put up your walls,
and i don’t blame you,
but have you considered what the shadow
would do to me?

starve me out of your light,
burn me with its darkness.
cut me with your sword -
it’s better then those words.

why was i so vain
to imagine a future with you?
you wanted to be a forensic scientist,
or an architect.
you wanted me to be a journalist,
say ‘i’d do well in it’
but truly all i want to do is
lay with you in a flat
we had to leave everything behind
to get to.

and i won’t ever
step feet in copenhagen
again, never
shall my feet walk on
those cobble roads

i see your eyes in its water,
i see your hands in its branches
i feel your spirit in my heart
and all i can do is cry in

a vain attempt to get it out
to purge myself from the pain
that’s in the form of an angel

and will you still
spit on the ground i walk on
when i’m the only one instep with you?

when nobody is by your side,
due to your misdeeds and your past,
will you wonder why am i still there?

if i can see your malpractice,
ponder this,
why do i need to defend you?

May God overthrow myself - flipping over
tables in the den of sin which is my heart.

Let His word radiate in my heart, soul and might

Let He who is immovable
move my spirit
from arid land to meadows of clover

Let my Lover encompass my entire being
so I serve Him and
His people

Let my Father guide me and instruct me,
to raise me like a babbling child

Lord, why have you forsaken me?
Leading me to love one i cannot,
left without a home or bed

Jubilant Lord, why have you made me woeful?
Judas I have embodied, selling out myself,
jade eyes reflecting blankly

Lover, may my heart not utter prayers to
lie with those who don’t want me,
but may I lay with you, O My God