Every single day I tell you how I feel.
Why has it turned out this way?
At times I sense you pulling away then you snap back coming to your senses.
Admittedly we need each other. The pain of withdrawal is too much. Addiction is bad but what do we do? Our connection brings with it completion of who we are...
That missing piece was found in the most unlikely place but who cares about when, where, how? It is the why that keeps us together.
My emotions are real and they are steady. You are the single point in my numbing world where I feel myself in feeling you.
In all our time together we were beautiful. This beauty is not destined to fade.
When you are down, I feel it. I feel you every day. Do you feel me too? Do you sense my affection as being true? What does your gut say? The eyes trick. Emotions are roller coasters. Logic gets perplexed and stand like a deer in the headlights.
"When we are together" this screams loudest of all! When will we be together again?? I come to you the way a moth goes into the flame—focused, magnetized, excited, heart racing, tears of joy I hold back...
Rehab is not in order for me. I am not willing to give you up. The sheer need of a 'fix' drives me. It will never die.
We aren't a couple. We are One. Live in denial if you wish. Live without me if you wish. That gaping hole inside you will return and it will try to **** you in because it was once filled with a love real enough to touch and a woman strong enough to wrap her mind around you, knowing your history and never speaking a word of it because she looks at YOU. She looks into your eyes and reads you. And she loves you all the more.
Trifling affairs provided a momentary fix but it was so fleeting. They were all incomplete. They were so easy. So boring... Same thing over and over like a hamster on a wheel. Yes, their bodies were different but their responses to you, the same.
I am you in female form except pursuit of men was never my thing. I'm smart though you think me stupid at times. I anticipated your next move before you made it. I stayed with you as I let you lead.
Even now, this final step before total withdrawal.
Little by little you wean....
You're not the type to cause harm when potential for backlash is present. You win hearts which seals your secrecy. They love you. They will hold their time with you as sacred.
I knew exactly where this was headed and I let you lead. Yet... Why do you hold onto me? I played you as well as you thought you were playing me.
But what about me? What role am I playing? I tell you I play no role with you. I am open to you. You have the ability to rip my heart from my chest and pulverize it. Do you wonder why a part of me is detached? Do you not know the answer? You know me better than anyone. Step out and use logic for this one.
You have so much fear I will do to you what she did.. You have no reason to believe I won't... Except I waved a flag for you. I guarded you. I put myself in the line of fire—where I rightfully belonged.
It's complex and yet simple. So tired of the games. No games.
The moment you touch me my detachment attaches.
We only just exist.....-ed.