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TWO loves had I. Now both are dead,
And both are marked by tombstones white.
The one stands in the churchyard near,
The other hid from mortal sight.

The name on one all men may read,        
And learn who lies beneath the stone;
The other name is written where
No eyes can read it but my own.

On one I plant a living flower,
And cherish it with loving hands;      
I shun the single withered leaf
That tells me where the other stands.

To that white tombstone on the hill
In summer days I often go;
From this white stone that nearer lies
I turn me with unuttered woe.

O God, I pray, if love must die,
And make no more of life a part,
Let witness be where all can see,
And not within a living heart.
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
Ivo Stojanov
when my father's tears were struggling with his character
his eyes were looking like an arena,
there was a battle,
strong father's character v.s father's love
on the surface of his eyes I could see,
all that he was trying to hide,
from me,
to protect me,
so the one who would cry those tears,
would be not me
A man has no other option,
than, to fight
to let the tears go, and hide them in a same time,
what an art of love!!!
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
Sin
they told me
"never fall in love with a bad boy."

what they didn't tell me
was that bad boys
are not boys with scars
that have no stories.

they are not boys
with split bones,
stretched shadows,
black irises, and blacker bruises.

bad boys are the ones who
stitch together their words,
silk spider webs,
wrapping you up,
just like he did in his arms.

they are not boys who hide their faces,
and spill smoke from thin lips.

bad boys are the ones who
fill your hungry cries
with red wine and black waters,
dragging you down,
just like he did with his words.

they told me
"never fall in love with a bad boy."

but I did.
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
Sin
bullets in brain cells
trenches twisted, turned.
his brains a battlefield,
but to hide it, he learned.

mind stands as a temple,
tongue rolls, a black sea.
she was never a fighter,
and neither was he.

she painted him skylines,
rainforests, black rain.
but the art on the paper
could not match his pain.

she danced on pianos
wrote him ten love songs,
he fell down much further
and dragged her along.

however it was not
towards her that he fell,
instead he careened into
mindless, deep hell.

so he pulled the trigger,
and ended his war.
left the young girl alone
just wanting him more.
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
H M Jeffrey
Please dear God hear my prayer
Maybe give me a sign you still care
I do things you wouldn't condone
But please don't leave me all alone
I'm not a thief and I'll never ****
If you don't forgive my sins then nobody will
Always trapped in some form of cage
Made to perform on life's unforgiving stage
Walking down your path I lost my way
It was never my intention to walk astray
Please forgive me for I have sinned
I know to your will I should bend
The Devil's Toy placed me in a haze
It brought out in me my selfish ways
If I could take back it all
Maybe then I could stand up tall
Please grant me the streghnth to face each day
And the wisdom to find my way
Help me to say no to sin
This in your name I pray amen
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
H M Jeffrey
I wish I could go back to a year ago
When I thought I was at my lowest low
When I thought everything had gone so wrong
Bet I would be singing a different song
I'd start by deleting that very first line
Maybe then my life would be just fine
I would never have learned how to twist that bowl
Maybe then I wouldn't be filled with this gaping hole
I wouldn't know that you could eat dope
Maybe then I wouldn't be left without hope
I would have said no and walked away
Maybe then I wouldn't be sitting here a **** addict today
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
H M Jeffrey
I hate you and all that you're about
I hate that because of you I'm filled with doubt
Because of you I now sit in Hell
I believed all of those lies you use to tell
You said you were all I would ever need
I was naive and I followed your lead
You treated me good and took away all my pain
I had no idea on my soul you would leave this stain
When I was all alone you were there for me
Before long you were all that I could see
But when I was ready to leave you wouldn't let me go
Suddenly I found it impossible to tell you no
Try as I did I just couldn't get away
You made it clear you were here to stay
You laughed in my face and called me a fool
I had no choice but to follow your rules
No more family, laughter,and loving hugs
Thats the price I paid when I turned to drugs
 Jul 2013 Jwala Kay
H M Jeffrey
Do you think you know me when you look me in the eye
I've made my mistakes I won't lie
Here is the list of people that I have hurt
While I selfishly crawled through the dirt
I have seen rage in the eyes of my dad
I know I made him angry but worse than that I made him sad
In my mom I have seen a complete loss of trust
All because I wanted to feel that wonderful rush
With my daughter I seen fear while she cried
The pain in her eyes made me wish I had died
I dragged them down the path of hell right beside me
All the time my selfishness made them difficult to see
I thought I was alone as I walked into Hell
But I know now because of me they are here as well
Unlike my lonely decent together we will rise
I will replace the rage and distrust I see in their eyes
I will remove the fear in which my daughter is in slaved
I know now that I can and want to be saved
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