My heart became
So full,
I could no longer
Carry it
On my own, but
When I asked
For your help,
You turned away.
So I set it down, and
Unburdened, walked on alone.

The world unfolded
Before me, stretching
Out into infinity
A burst of color
An explosion of light
Expanding, unfurling
Billowing up like smoke
Reaching out tendrils
Towards me, slithering
Twisting around me
Like unruly vines
I stood still in wonder
Unsure and afraid
As the heavens descended
Shimmering, iridescent
Blindingly beautiful
A swirling cloud of
Divine light
Envelops me slowly
The ground falls away
Feet resting on sunshine
Eyes burning with love
I awake to the newness
Of self fully realized
Heart wide open
Growing roots in the earth
Deep in the sense
Of knowing

Crashing, suddenly
Into the waves
My body, it floats
Then falls, sinking
Down, I feel
The water, cool
A caress, gliding over
My skin
Looking up
Light sparkles
Above me
Then fades
Darker
Deeper I go
Until all that is left
Faint, distant
A glimmer, to illuminate
The gloom, shadows
Surround me
Dancing and shifting
Sliding in closer
They reach for me
Stretching
Inky tentacles grasping
Trailing patterns of
Ice
Where they graze
My skin
Curling around me
They’re pulling me under
Slowly, further
Into the darkness
I open my mouth
To scream, to call
For someone, something
But silence
It chokes me
Filling my lungs
Seeping into my body
Weighing me down
I sink, gasping
For truth, needing
To speak, I claw
At the space
Surrounding me, empty
The weight of my
Burden
Dragging me
Down
Down, deeper
Into despair
The light, the glimmer
Of hope
Slowly fading
Away

Tick, tick, tick
The secondhand creeps on by
Echoing loudly
In the empty room

I cover my ears
Sighing, shifting
Uncomfortable
In my own skin

Waiting, always
Be patient, the words
Repeat like a mantra
In my head

Staring at the ceiling
Eyes wandering
Roaming, following
The cracks in the paint

Drifting, my mind
Turns in a circle
Avoiding the thought
At the center

Dancing around it
Twisting and twirling
Like fire, it draws me
Like fire, it burns

Energy building
Still waiting, unmoving
Pushed to the edge
Yet unable to jump

Soon, the voice whispers
Soon, the years pass
In stillness, enveloped
By silence

Screaming, inside
My voice tells you nothing
I open my mouth
And make not a sound

Watching, impatient
I claw at the windows
Caked over with dust
No one sees me inside

Patience, it preaches
The voice in the silence
Good things are coming
To those who will wait

Finally bursting
The fire consumes me
I tear at the lock
As I break through the door

Sunlight, blue sky
Wind through the trees
I step onto the grass
Then I see it, my prize

Golden and shimmering
Perfect and blissful
The heart of my heart
My only desire

Stretching, I reach out
My fingertips brushing
Against it, a moment
Then grasp only air


Ashes, they fall
Down gently they float
To my feet, all that’s left
Of my prize

Then comes the voice
From the stillness behind me
If only you’d waited, it says
In its infinite patience

For just one more day

I built my wall
Brick by brick
Fortified
With apathy
Deflection
A calculated
Nonchalance
Guarding always
This sensitive
Quivering, helpless
Beating *****
In my chest
While there
Behind the fortress
The stone and mortar
Beneath the armor
Of iron and steel
I wait in silence
Breath suspended
Frozen in terror
Of intrusion
Attack
Conquest
Huddled in my corner
Behind those walls
I hid, secure
Safe, protected
Or so I believed
But there, so small
Almost invisible
A crack, a *****
A weakened spot
You saw, you slid
Right through the gap
So smoothly
Quick
In the dead of night
Before I had
Even the chance
To sound the alarm
There you were
Inside
My heart

The sky is a painting
Unreal and too beautiful
Yet above me, it hangs
Just the same

Shades of bright blue
Cerulean, turquoise
Peeking out between
Streaks of pure white

Grey forms hover
Overhead, shifting
Moving on waves
Of wind

The ocean below
Follows restlessly behind
Churning and crashing
Against the shore

While on the horizon
Farther away
Bursts of yellow and pink
Tinge the mountains of cloud

The wind teases
My unyielding skin
Dull and solid
I send forth a wish

For the sun to illuminate
The cool breeze to penetrate
The cells of my body
Absorbing me

Into the sky

Take it away
This living, breathing
Alien in my chest
It is not home
Does not belong
Just cut me open
And pull it out

I feel it
Growing
Stretching and clawing
At the walls
Of its prison
Trapped
Just the same
As me

I can’t get away
Lock the doors
Close my eyes
Cover my ears
Hiding from phantoms
But the danger lurks
Within

My love stirs my hatred
I want but can’t have
Desires, once bright
Possible
Attainable
Now become
Forbidden

The door slams
The bar is drawn
Locking me out
Or maybe
Locking me
In
This misery
Of my own
Creation