When we first started talking, I should have known it wouldn't end well.
When you took my hand and interlocked our fingers, I should have known those same hands would make me feel something I've never felt before.
After our first kiss, I should have known I would only want your lips on mine.
When you asked me to go steady, I should have known this relationship would be over in the blink of an eye.
When you looked at me the way you  did, i should have known you felt for me what I was scared to say I felt for you.
When you said you loved when we were together, I should have known I made you feel like no one else had.
When you let me meet your parents, I should have known I was something special to you.
When you stayed with me instead of going to hangout with friends, I should have known i already meant the world to you.
When you looked at me with a smile after just pulling away from a kiss, I should have known you could fall in love with someone in an instant, no matter how long you had been with them.
When you said you couldn't wait for me, I should of been understanding.
When we were wrapped up in each other, I should have taken the time to tell you what you meant to me.
When I knew what I felt for you was love, I should have told you. No matter how heavy my heart felt at the thought of you not feeling the same way.
And When I had to say goodbye to you for the last time, I should have known that love does not always die. But some times the perfect people come into your life at the wrong time.

As I sat on the back of his bike, with my arms around him, sweaty palms clenched tight. I realized nothing mattered. It didn't matter that I was being shipped off to boot camp in a week and a half.. It didn't matter that if my parents knew where I was that they would have killed me.. It didn't matter that I used to have feelings for him, or that I still did. On the back of his bike, nothing mattered.

And so it happened, the two of us met.
But not exactly how one might expect.
I was in a rush, trying to think of something clever.
Then you walked right by out into the stormy weather.
Though many would say that wasn't technically meeting.
My eyes met yours, and my heart started beating.
First, it felt as if it would stop, but then it began to feel as if it would pop.
I had never laid my eyes on a man quiet like this,
but I knew if ever given the chance his lips I would kiss.
As he walked away,
I had to stay.
For I knew the troubles a man his type would bring,
but boy, did he make my heart sing.


-m.n.

I could have fell asleep, right there. With my arms around him, and the sound of the wind. Leaving towns behind one at a time.

I write, because the things I wish to say come out a lot better when I put pen to paper then when I try to make those same words come out of my mouth.

-m.n.

With how short life is, wasting time should be a crime.

I want to be the one you tell your drunk stories to
The one you tell every secret to as if it were a casual conversation
I want to be the girl that you smile at the thought of
The one person that's always on your mind
I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile
I want to be the person you go on crazy adventures with and tell everyone how great they were
I want to be the girl you Skype for hours and then call when the connection fails because all you want is to hear my voice
I want to make you smile when you see things and think of me
I want to go to coffee shops we've never been to and find antique stores worth exploring
I want to talk about the universe and why you believe in God
I want to interlock my fingers with yours and go for a walk down the beach
But more than anything I want to tell you that i want all these things, and I want to hear you say that you want the same.

Child, you could move mountains.
But first you must get off your ****.

That's all they are.
Demanding you do as they say, but then a day or two later they're doing the exact same thing they told you not to.
Telling you to believe in one thing, when they dont even believe it themselves.
Speaking of wild times in their past lives, while forcing you to stay home on a weekend and study.
Continuously pestering you to try your best, when one of them is a drop out who acts like a child.
Whining that you never open up to them, ignoring the times you had started to but they were "too busy".
Continuously wanting you to act more adult, while treating you like a child, though in less than 2 months you'll be more adult than they will ever be.
Telling you to come out of your room, that you spend too much time there, yet that is the only place you feel you can be yourself,
the only place you can feel free.
Some may of been blessed with amazing parents, but at times..that is not the case for me.

Well ****,
We met.
We spent time together.
And now you keep running through my head, along with all the things that could've been said.

I didn't expect to like you this much..
I didn't expect for you to be so great.
But now im stuck thinking about you, and that smile of yours,
The way we sat in silence that would normally be awkward.
But with you was instead peaceful.

We talked about so much.
We were together for so long.

But now its a week later and I'm stuck thinking about you.
Thinking about this time last week,
seeing your smile, hearing you talk about things you liked, and disliked.
I can't help but wonder if you think of me too,
But then again I know theres absolutely no way that you do.

I had stopped wanting a real relationship long ago,
But theres just something about you that makes me want to let that thought go.
Though its overly said you're different then every other guy I've ever been friends with.
You're becoming someone I actually want to really know.
I wouldn't mind seeing you more..
Hell I want to..

She's beautiful, with her smile beaming like the sun.
And her big blue eyes taking me on a journey much farther than the deepest depths of the ocean.
Her porcelain like skin covered in small speck's of brown.
Her hair long and flowing, with the sweetest smell of vanilla.
Her delicate fingers covered in rings of all kinds.
Her voice most unusual, as well as the most beautiful hymn ever heard.
Her beauty could make an army of men halt.
Yet no matter how many time's I tell her of her beauty, she has yet to agree.

It's all about the late night shows, & spending time with the bro's.
Getting high as a kite, then crashing at night.
Making memories that last, because soon this will only be the past.
-m.n.

I want to kiss you in the mornings, when your lips taste of coffee.
I want to go to book stores and take adventures in books with you.
I want to cross your mind as much as you cross mine.
I want to go on nature walks with you as you hold my hand.
I want to sit on a roof top with you at 3am and talk about the universe.
And lastly, I want to fall oh so deeply in love with you, as you fall, oh so deeply in love with me.

-m.n.

We were meant to live for so much more than sucky kisses, wasted days, or to do anything that doesn't bring a smile to our face.
So do things on impulse.
Double text. Kiss her. Get up and live your life. Take an adventure. Tell them how you really feel. Do things you have never done. Tell your parents what you really want to be when you grow up. Take a long drive. Tell that annoying kid off. Kiss him. Take risks. Start making your dreams come true.
Because we were meant to live for so much more than this.


-m.n.

You see life doesn't always work out the way one would like it to.
Some times you have to be patient, and wait.
Other times you wish for one thing, and another happens.
But never question why things happen.
God has a plan for each one of us.
You and me.
No matter what you're going through he's there.
Watching you, knowing exactly what your thinking at all times.
Even when things are going downhill he already knows what's next that will lift you up.
Keep your head up kid, he's got you.

26* days until my schooling career comes to a stoping point,
or perhaps a pause.
26 days until I stop seeing everyone I've been forced to see five times a week for 12 years.
26 days until my alarm clock no longer has to wake me up at the peek of dawn.
26 days until I no longer see these wonderful teacher's I've come to adore.
26 days until it is all over.
1 day and I'm graduated.
12 years
4,380 days
That all lead to this one day,
that is 26 days away.
That ends my high school career,
& is the start of something beautiful.

Late nights
Random people
Loud music
Houses I've never been to, and probably will never go to again
Beer pong
Strange drinks
Car rides
2 am conversations
Left over Halloween candy
Dancing
Empty glass bottles
Sleepy eyes
Sun rise

One morning you'll wake up, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and stare out the window at the world in front of you. It'll be a rainy day, one that gives you the calming silence to think. You may be alone, may be with family.
And as you look out that window everything will click. You'll realize through all the doubts & worries that had filled your life before, that this life is one that you had hoped and dreamed for.
-M.N.

Take a minute and look out into the world.
Breathe in the warm summer air.
Look up into the sky,
Look all around,
And stare in awe at what a beautiful world we live in.
Watch the clouds move,
Listen to the birds chirp,
And see the tree's sway in the breeze.
Then take a moment to be thankful that with all the hate going on in this world, that mother nature had made us such a beautiful masterpiece.

"This is crazy."She said . "But so is life, Life is a blizzard , & maybe going through it with you would make it a little less crazy." He looked at her, with a smirk on his face, and said  "Are you sure you're ready for this, because life as we know it is about to be one hell of an adventure."
-m.n

I could get lost staring into those enchanting hazel eyes of yours, the same way most people get lost in sunsets that spill every shade of pink and orange across the sky.

It's a work of art, the way you fell apart and put yourself back together
The way you rebuilt the walls around you, like nothing had ever gotten through.
It was so difficult for you, to do this on your own.
But you fought your demons,
and you prayed through, and through.
Along with your walls, you also rebuilt yourself.
The end result was just something else.
Someone no longer guarded by fear, you have no idea how far you've come my dear.
Now you're much more than you once were,  & I've never seen anything more beautiful.
. -m.n

Some people are beautiful in their looks.
Other's in their souls.
But you, you're this special kind of beautiful.
You're the kind of beautiful that people see in sunsets, and shooting stars.
The kind of beautiful that starts at the depths of ones soul, and travels to the outer workings of ones body.

-m.n.

And from first glance you were nothing like the others.
You made me crave your touch, the moment your hand fell from my cheek.I hadn't thought it was possible for a human being to be so lustful without love.
But I soon learned lust without love is one of the most horribly beautiful things a human may experience in one's life time.
At first I craved your lips on mine, like no one could imagine.
Then that wasn't enough.
My body ached for you, and though your complete touch I never received, I did receive much of what I asked for.
Your mouth, and hands on my skin were more than I could ever imagine. Even in my wildest dreams a man had never made my body feel this way.
And the passion behind each kiss was much more than any I had experienced that had been associated with love.

-m.n.

The warm breath of the sun kisses my skin, as I lay beneath the oak tree as I have any times before.
The sun's rays leaving behind little speckles of brown along the framing of my body.
The same little speckles you used to count out and adore.
The same tree we had laid under when we were surrounded by nothing other the wind and our thought's.
On this particular day it's hot, and I can feel the little beadling's of sweat building up on my temples.
The same time last year the weather was so close to being perfect.
But this summer would be nothing like the last.
This summer would be full of new experiences, new people, and new views on life.
Because I no longer have you to tie my mind down.


-m.n.

If loves real, that must be what I'm feeling for him.
-m.n.

11/07/2015
And then I saw her.
For the first time in four months.
I can't exactly describe what I felt at the exact moment that my eyes met hers.
Happiness maybe? But it felt like it was much more than that.
It was the feeling of finally coming home.
Upon laying my eyes on her, I ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her.
She squeezed me tight, as I did the same to her.
We held hands as we walked out of the airport to her car, as any best friends would after months of not seeing each other.
Even as she drove me home I held onto her as tightly as I could manage as she was driving.
In the moment it didn't feel real.
I couldn't believe I was really with her.
She dropped me off at my house, but not without a ten minute hug goodbye.
I promised her I would see her again before I left two days later.
Then Saturday came and I saw her again.
She spent time with my family and I. Holding my hand any chance she got. I knew she would miss me once I left, but I knew there was no way she could miss me as much as I would miss her.
As the night came to an end and we were on our way to the airport I realized something.
This women beside me holding my hand as tight as possible was not only my best friend, but something more.
She meant more to me than a best friend.
She meant the world to me. And I still can't figure out exactly what that feeling for her was.

Honestly, all I want is a cute guy, who would like to read with me, listen to Elvis records, sip coffee, and like me enough to tongue kiss me.
-m.n.

Oh darling, you confuse me, you truly do.
But what's even more confusing is how time, and time again, my heart and mind continue to go back to the thought of you.

-m.n.

I wanted you in the most innocent of ways,
but you had been hurt a time too many and couldn't find the strength to open up once more.
-M.N.

Me; little did he know that I was more than nervous.
And that it took everything in me to pull his lips back to mine to allow them to meet once more . Kissing him was like my own personal sample of ecstasy, in that moment he was my heroine. The way his lips felt on mine, as if they had been carved to fit with mine so perfectly. The sweet taste of the kiss still on my lips as our lips parted for the last time. I wanted him. More than I had ever wanted a man, even though it was in the most innocent of ways. I wanted to just sit there and kiss him all day. With my arm around him pulling him close. I hadn't wanted to let him leave, and looking back I shouldn't have.
Little things in that moment didn't matter. It was just one of those moments I'll never forget, one of those moments you only get once in a life time.

And as things came to a halt much quicker than I had ever thought they would, I was numb. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I wasn't sad either. I knew there was another door opening just as this one had closed. And I'm far too excited to see what this new adventure may hold, I have no time to waste looking back.
-M.N.

I once had a friend who told me
"I still love him. But I can't be with him, even though he still loves me too.."
And why's that? I asked
She replied "because even though you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to end up together."
And that hit me as one of the truest things I've ever heard.

Look at us,
Two teens who have hopelessly fallen for each other.
It's crazy what can happen between two people in  the course of a few days.
The way someone can make you feel.
The way he makes me feel.
What we have is something extraordinary.
And I don't want it to come to an end.

Him;Like, just the thrill of it. I was slightly nervous about kissing you and if I'd be okay... Wondering how you'd be.. Then I went for it, just a peck more or less... But then we kissed and as I pulled out and said I need to go, you looked at me and said, "you can't just kiss me and leave" and you grabbed me and pulled me back in to taste your sweet lips again. It was just almost a feeling of ecstasy just kissing you. Feeling wanted. Just the way you held me there and pulled me in showed you wanted me and I wanted you too. Little things in that moment didn't matter. It was just one of those moments I'll never forget.

You see, that was just it.
You were like a tree, planted to stay.
While I was like the wind, blowing away.


-m.n.

Have you ever wanted to write, but your fingers that normally would be typing away are just sitting still?
You crave that feeling of a finished piece, yet nothing new comes to mind?
I'm stuck in this spot a the moment,
and I'm praying I dont end up leaving my writings behind.

"I don't care about a lot of things, but I do care about you." He said, as he took my face in one hand, and kissed me with such passion I had never felt before.
When we met I had no clue he would say those few words, and that they would end up meaning so much to me.. None the less knowing that he would mean this much to me.

You are but one human, with the world at their finger tips.
But it is up to you to take advantage of that.



-m.n.

I'll never forget how you tasted that night, or how badly i wanted you.
I'll always remember how your hands felt on my hips, and your fingers felt tracing my lips.