Pushing people away is an unwanted gift of mine.
If I could though. I would go back in time.
I wouldn't change what I said to him. And I wouldn't change what I did.
I would change what I didn't say to him. And what I didn't do.
I would tell him how much he meant to me. I would hug him more often.
I would tell him his hair was perfect. And I would hold his hand.
Even if I could go back in time. I know I wouldn't change the way I spoke to him. Or the way I looked at him.
I would change the way I didn't speak to him. And the way I didn't look at him.
I would speak lovingly towards him. And I would look at him as if he were my sun.
I would tell him sweet words. And I would look into his soul.
It took me too long to realize all of the things I should have done with him.
It took me too long to realize. If I could go back in time. I wouldn't change a thing.
My Time with him was brief. But it was all I could ever ask for.
It took me too long to realize. He didn't need me. He was better off without me.
So If I could go back in time. I know wouldn't change a **** thing.

At first I always hated the sun
But with time all I could think about was it’s shine
And all those times me and my friend would dine
in the middle of it. When we’d play, dance and run.
But those times come to an end just as they had begun
Were all those memories only mine?
When we log on we don’t talk, even if we’re both online
You make me feel like you’ve shot me with a gun
As the leaves start to fall all we can think about is change
and how we want to start off fresh
We go back to laughing  and joking as if nothing had been strange.
We talk about when we’ll see each other again in the flesh.
Wishing and hoping that one day we’ll been in the same driving range
Maybe you’ll be as near as this winter to end our emotional mesh.

I miss him God, I miss him so much. But I know I don't need him. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve me. I'm not the type to say I'm better than anyone. But I know my worth. And I know I'm worth more than to have a boy cheat on me and leave me for a group of guys and parties. I know I'm worth more than the excuses I made up for him when he kissed anther girl, when he touched another girl, when he had *** with her. I know I am worth more than the lies he told me and the weak excuses. I deserve someone who will love me as much as I love them and he wasn't it. It's taken me a long time to realize this. But it isn't him. No matter how much I wanted it to be. He never loved me as much as I loved him, that much I knew, even from the beginning.