They try to tell me....
because I'm depressed I've got a disease
that there's no one else out there who feels quite like me
that I'm at fault for wearing my heart on my sleeve
these transitional times should just come with ease
But.......
how can you expect me to believe
when we live in a world that neglects history
who puts life behind titles and paid salary
that puts you down if you act or think differently
It's just......
things aren't so great within our own family
we've made want out-weigh personal responsibility
made wars with ourselves because of society
made wars with ourselves because of supremacy
I feel........
like I don't want to commit to this fatality
that the pressure is on to become what they want me to be
that I can't do it because of lack of diplomacy
because of my desire to aid those in poverty
but they say......
**** like that is never going to get you anywhere, honestly
that you should do what gives you the greatest lump sum of money
forget about the low lives, they've chosen their destiny
you have the choice now to become your own entity
But I say...
I know that we all aren't so far from one identity
that we could unite in our sadness and stop living so separately
that there is a way in which we can think optimistically
it just calls for a revolt, something to change drastically

It felt like the last time that I would ever experience this again
so of course, I missed it before it even ended
My grandfather sat in the passenger seat
saying he hoped he made it to his sixtieth anniversary
no turning back now, dad
said my own father
we won't live forever my grandfather said
my uncle to my right talked of a man freezing himself
he was coerced he was coerced
he told us, as if it was such a bad thing to be frozen
your brain cells multiply though
don't give her any more ideas
star wars got its ideas from star trek
I will never be this young again
I may never hear these words again
It was a nice time though, just to be

My friend has these eyes
flecks of gold hold vast to her pupils
sorrow is magnified in them
as she looks at the gray world

My friend has these eyes
they see color in small things
create masterpieces when she focuses them
but disregard the true beauty they see in the mirror

My friend has these eyes
I wish she could trade with my own
so she could see her eyes the way I see them
and understand what looking into them is like

My friend has these eyes
I know not what mysteries they have seen
know not the acuteness of their vision
nor the times they have bathed in a sea of saltwater tears

My friend, you have eyes so why can't you see?
The beauty that surrounds the emotion you project
onto the world?Good, bad, and despairing

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

There is always too much to say,
and never enough to say it.

The limits of language are blunt,
though nature is most eloquent.

Reality is ineffable,
though it speaks in every which way.

Wordlessly she moves,
her metaphors pervade.

each man must realize
that it can all disappear very
quickly:
the cat, the woman, the job,
the front tire,
the bed, the walls, the
room; all our necessities
including love,
rest on foundations of sand -
and any given cause,
no matter how unrelated:
the death of a boy in Hong Kong
or a blizzard in Omaha ...
can serve as your undoing.
all your chinaware crashing to the
kitchen floor, your girl will enter
and you'll be standing, drunk,
in the center of it and she'll ask:
my god, what's the matter?
and you'll answer: I don't know,
I don't know ...

don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

nearer to beauty
genuine waves
sunset like a whole in the sky
so many faces pass you by
coming and going
sinking and swelling
like the crash of the sea on the shore
noise is never telling you why
birds of the land
plants of the bird
a line drawn that is never satisfied going straight
change is always in our fate
the moments we have will fade faster than a thumb nail scratch
but the scab remains a while
reminding of what once was felt
what once remained
split ends tell of how the roots are never recovered given new location
the shadows are always there to prove real
that is the only proof we have sometimes
history sold for half of its face value
even if you heard it
it doesn't make it true
black and white overcomes you
we reach and reach for something higher and higher
the sky is so big and should tell us what we need to hear
but the sky has seen everything and can not be just what we want
it will be what it is and nothing more
we will interpret it how we will
look at the sea as if its never been touched by an oil spill
everything is ours and now we must decide
will we allow it to be us
because it has already allowed us to be it

Grieving is a word that invokes many thoughts. It is similar to grave, one has dug for themselves or one that another is lowered into. Commence: the place and time of grieving. Along with it there comes a muted gray feeling. Like you cannot breathe in the air because it is ridden with smog and toxins that allow only shallow gasps. It is heavy and it is surrounding. Then comes the catalyst for the action. It is a loss, it is a hole, it is something that once was but now ceases. Then once it has gone, we find ourselves alone with our thoughts again. Can grieving occur over something that has yet to happen? I think it must be something that is done post and not pre. The loss can minuscule or grand, there are spectrums present in just about everything. The loss could be of a personality trait or of running water. It could be the loss of a friendship or loss of land. I had the pleasure of driving through the mountains recently, and I found that the mountains are grieving. There are faces resting in the rock, saddened by the diminishing countryside.  tbc