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June West Mar 2014


 lights up cigarette
I realized I was falling in love again

* drag
and
there he was, right in front of me
* puff
because its the ******* truth that time reveals all
* drag
i showered 5 times in disgust after you told me it was lust.
* puff
I can only really shake my head
and hold my heart
* lights up another cigarette
June West Oct 2012
Even when I was there in your arms I knew it wouldn't last long,
I tallied the days and although melancholy knowing that it wouldn't last, I basked in each moment wishing for time to not exist.
I kept each moment like people collect snow globes or baseball cards.
I collect those moments with you, and put them in a box labeled life.
I slipped the rejection paper between the folds of the cardboard.
I was the only one at the funeral.
June West Oct 2012
The time goes by, (bye)
But I am still here

Or maybe from another’s perspective, (yours)
I am still there. (ignorant,)

Whether I am just pondering (stuck)
lingering, or dreaming

The constant numbness (disassociation)
The intake and outtake on each breath

searches for you.
June West Aug 2014
and you were there smoking your cig in a dark corner that was my heart
June West Jan 2014
We planted seeds my love
a perennial opens to the mouth of the suns gentle gaze
I haven't seen it
but
It does not take eyes to feel.
June West Mar 2015
my love of yesteryears where thoughts halo around my head like the golden sunset on deaths door I yearn for what couldn't be
June West Nov 2012
I would skip my morning classes
and we would figure out how each others bodies work
laying there
bliss
June West Nov 2012
Missing you feels like swallowing a bag of nails.
it ******* hurts.
June West Oct 2015
" A THOUGHT WITHIN A THOUGHT WITHIN A THOUGHT"

I remembered the other day while staring out of a car window
looking west
that i couldn't see up close.

I guess its like a thing i have
eye doctors say is either near sighted or far sighted.
anyway
I thought it could be quite the metaphor
like how i kinda cant see what i have till its gone
or maybe
it connects with art an perspective
like its really all where you stand
or position yourself
I mean, how can you really think you get a thing
or painting if you will
and feel confident enough to slap a label on it
predefining everything it is or could be
until you see it from all angles.

Then when i took that thought and made it abstract
I found myself in new angles
that i didnt even know existed
often enough
to know that
in myself i lack to say
I get.

I think the beauty is in the undefinable,
unbelievable
maybe let it be
unknown.
Dazzled in catching yourself
in sudden observation
the kind where you're not sure how long you could have been zoned out
suddenly realizing whats in front of you.

out a window facing west
a view
my view
narrows in tunnel vision
on the rearview mirror
reminding me of what i cant see
objects in mirror are closer than they appear
and i got to thinkin
if I were to have labeled that rearview mirror
or any maybe all rearview mirrors including metaphorical ones
It woulda probably went along the lines of something
step outside yourself and meet at a coffee shop
I wish you luck
*

_ _ for the more cynical sailor mouthed_ _
June West Mar 2015
I would rather drowned in uncharted waters than tread in the ocean of your cold arms
June West Nov 2015
A heavy sigh departs me from the unattainable you in this tender night ill remember the rest of my life. A pitiful undeserving tear shed like snake skin from my face. As all these memories haunt me a demon in white lace. Chipped my tooth on fools gold I traded my cow. No magic here gravity made me bow. This thing still beats I don't know why tattered and torn flag in the sky declared my love for you so long, but what's it worth to not fall upon the eye it was drawn but spat and burned perhaps you'll never know. So here is where I suggest I stop talking to your shadow candle light flickered on my mast, for we were just two ships that past in the night at sea and as the flame I so tenderly lit smothered by my own humble love as did our chance that it could ever be. I'm not really sure you were ever here in company, but disillusioned words spoken came real but only to my eyes I saw what in the end I could not feel. I guess that someday you always said would happen never came around.
June West Oct 2012
Imagine your favorite thing, in front of you
You have had it before,  it's lovely still

Demise.


For the moment you reach for it
Take it in your hands

Whisper sweet love songs in its ear..
The taste is not the same.

It's burnt, black, crumbling In your hands
Mind and heart.

You try to pick it up piece by piece as gently as you can.
Build it back the way it was,
the way you remember.

But you can't.

You can't make what's dead love you,
or feel for you.  

Once it's been dead it remains in the pit of ash and dust.
But when your dead yourself,
you lay in the remains and try to find the comfort in lust
June West Oct 2012
sometimes its strange to watch people in motion, going here and there,
watching them in their moment,
their life.
thoughts do wonder if they struggle like me.
I'm sure tho, because we are all human, and humans **** up, a lot.
so I guess I reassure myself as I stand and watch others move about me. A deadly disease being human, but a blessing as well. To the ones we miss and the ones we push away from our deadly human being self.
June West Oct 2012
When I explode after being hit again and again like a piñata
No one will come rushing
Because all my life I have been filled with hurt, loneliness, dispare, neglect
the love that was in there turned sour.
The hope and joy were stolen years ago.
So the day I crack after too many beatings,
no one will be there to pick up the pieces.
Because I'm full of ****.
June West Oct 2013
All the light turns to madness
patterns of matter
by passing around
Once upon the sun goes down.

The tricks of the trade
The plans that were made
The mask fitting before noon.
The clown, no the buffoon.

The whistles of the tune made break at dusk
we dust, we dust
we rise from our lust
prepare for yet another night .

It's someones job to give everybody fright.
The soft shallow terrors of the night.
June West Nov 2012
Strangers
Acquaintances
Friends
Best Friends
Lovers
Complicated
Ex's
Friends with Benefits
Acquaintances
Enemies
Strangers


I miss you
June West Feb 2014
Times fleeting again
my words
my intellect
Its hard to find peace
with where you are or what you're doing.

Life is made up of moments
and it is important to cherish whatever it is while you have it.
Those moments are your life


*Picking through the weekends half smoked cigarette butts
to find any remnants of worth.

I can't help but to catch myself evidently not taking my own advice
mostly because I retract myself from the thought
that these are my moments alone.

Where can I find solace and happiness if I cannot find it within myself?
I forgot what it feels like to be warm.
I forgot what a genuine smile feels like.

My eyes
My eyes have masked over
I'm lost
It's everyone else thinking I'm sane that keeps me sane.
June West Mar 2015
I tip my hat to the rear view mirror walking in the dark with a face burnt by the sun I can no longer linger in a place that does not exist
that once was your heart of my imagination
I was never there
And I never will be
June West Feb 2014
Same window
different viewers
inward and outward
constantly changing with seasons.

I always wonder how many people I've shared the same space with
but at different times
and if we all gathered in a room
would we find something to talk about?
Would we know all the places we have been?

we will never know
because that will never happen.
*so says I.
June West Oct 2012
Most things will remain untouched
Un-awknologed

Let it remain captivating in its mystery
Perfect at its distance

What would you have to dream for if not?

let it stand like the ancient walls of Greece.
Let it remain history.

But at least douce it with flame
Because to you it will never look the same
June West Oct 2013
People are over
More, I want more
A handful...

I still feel so empty.
20 more texts sent.
Body to body we stand
awkwardly talk.
Pushed into corners.

I'm still so distant.
So empty.
so far from where I'm currently standing,
uttering and murmuring.
Pouring in pouring out.
All these faces blurring,
looking the ******* same...

Same small talk
same story
about how they are
where they go to school.

BlaBlaBlaBla
YapYapYapYap

How does it feel to be a ******* puppet? I say.
How does it feel to be nothing special? I say.
How does it feel to ******* feel??

Oh, the weather?
yeah,
it's as inconsistently consistent as this
ever so bland cup of
coffee conversation.

Wow Me.
Make me want to turn my lights on.
June West Dec 2014
I invested too much for the bet i never placed
I never asked for a placemat to be set
for the spills i didn't know i would make

I never asked for these wrinkles on my face for the time i spent not missing you
I never asked to feel so much in common with a speck of dust
I never asked why to me the moon shines brighter than the sun at its very best
I never asked why happiness to me was a shooting star
beautiful too look at
but hard to grasp
I never asked a lot of things
all because
not everything has an answer
not everything has to make sense
not everything is anything you want to hear
however all I do ask is that someday
when you people
decide to blossem babies into this perpetually doomed earth planet we call home
all I ask
is that you have the decency to tell your child with its eyes so wide
that its not going to be easy
cheers to the loners who wear masks too big or too small to fill the very shoes they never put on to go anywhere to do anything with anyone.
June West Dec 2013
How do you know when you've gone mad?
Is it when you start to question it?

Does it creep up on your midnight pillow
ever so slightly
and drain your life like you use to gulp your morning coffee?
All while whispering in a form that could only be heard by wind chimes
expecting nothing less than what you've already lost.

Infectious with madness
A deal with the devil
A meeting of chance
A sound that should have been made
but on that very note it would all decay
amidst the stars that shine near the harboring bay.
No expression to convey.
If only there were another way
But like time, your eagerness whittles away
When theres nothing to say, no rock left unturned
you yearn
you yearn
Unlike others yours comes with disgust.
And by you I mean Me.
June West Aug 2013
I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe

-Eminem
June West Jun 2014
Even to this day.
i didn't know that drawing the blinds would blur the lines.
but increase the ones on my forehead.
stagnate and stained.
will they throw rotten tomatoes or flowers on my grave?
i had an affair with the producer,
everyone had lines accept for me,
i was listed in the brochure to be the fool.
i played it well.
you know i played it well.
and when they laugh i see horses teeth, another wave came crashing in pulling me to my knees.
I was never a star, but it doesn't mean I wasn't created to matter.

— The End —