I want to know you
who you are
who you were
where you've been
where you're going
your dreams
your fears
and what makes you smile

because that smile…
I'd love to be the one to give it to you every time

if i had known it was raining.
i would have taken the opportunity for the drips and drops
to wipe me clean of everything that's been pestering inside my head.

if i had known it was raining
i would have gone out to catch a cold
so staying inside alone all day would make a little more sense

if i had known it was raining
i might have took the time to write your name in chalk
and watch it slowly disappear, hoping to have the thought of you fade away as easily as that

if i had known it was raining
it would have given me a reason to shower today.

if i had known it was raining
it would have given me a reason to get out of bed, out of this room,
to the outside.

i miss the simple things
like a sincere smile
with love behind the eyes
the warm tickle of a touch
and when i could hold hands
the body next to mine as they sit
as they lay
as they are from separate parts of one room
the easy brush of bones as they pass by,
i will never enjoy goosebumbs more
but for now,
it's still wishing, wanting, waiting
yours for the taking.
music in my mind
and blood in my soul
rescue me
whoever you are
wherever you are
i am anticipating your discovery
i miss the simple things,
like watching movies
and eating food
enjoying the company of someone you're fond of
get-to-know-you talks and
discovering the stories of one life
its for the simple things,
i am wishing
for the simple things,
i am wanting
for the simple things,
i am waiting
i am yours for the taking

The pinkies go numb first.
I feel myself shake my head
as the memories pass by, all lies.
And I felt myself being dragged down
that path about 79 too many times.
Eyes sore, can’t tell if it’s from the war
or the storm.
Either way, it’s hard to look at you.
Cuz every time I talk too much,
and start to blush,
your face gets scared.
We pass by the dumbest ****.
Similar sidewalks remind me of long talks,
I’m ready for bedtime.
I fall into times where you close your eyes
and your speed starts to compromise, but no.
Quite faster than slow
running towards, reaching towards, hoping for
Death?
Say goodbye to the gentleman, no help up, no chair.
Clenched fists, you feel without finger tips
you touched me and tingles shot through my spine,
remembering your hand in mine.
My heart beats way too fast for you.
Others stare and share and speak compliments,
the words only sound right coming from you.
6:51, lights on.
The puddles have me following you too closely.
Julie in the sky with no moon, it’s lost without you.

Q:  If I’m missing, would you miss me?
                                                                   A:  You wouldn’t.

           Because I don’t believe you’ve ever cried yourself to sleep at night
Simply because you were missing the sound of my voice or the sight of my smile
    Because you’ve never imagined what it would be like to fall asleep at night
    And wake up with me right next to you, incased in the warmth of your arms
           Because there’s never been a time where you craved my company
                Or just wanted to have a conversation just to be engaged
                                     Because the nice ones finish last,
                                           That is- if they finish at all
                               Because girls like me aren’t dreamt about
                                         Aren’t talked about in flattery
                                             Stared upon on sidewalks

                                                        I don’t get
                                                          Noticed

                                             You never notice a thing

                                        That I’ve been starving myself
                                     When there were slits on my wrist
                          All of the tears secretly seeping out of my eyes
                                  The irregular pattern of my breathing
                                               My lack of inspiration
                                        The plead for help in my eyes

                                                my entire disguise

                                    You’d never notice if I went missing
                                                  I hold no presence
                                           I bring nothing to the table
                                                  I offer what I am,
                                           And when you’re too busy
                                Everything I am fades into the background

                      And from the sadness of my heart, it’s soothing to know
                               That I wouldn’t make a mess if I chose to go.

Barefoot convertible drives made me feel alive
As I did while running through the late night rain
But bright lights and fire pit smoke kept me awake
The fire fell and finally burnt out
And the tingles in your tiptoes no longer crept
Boom, boom as the heart tick tocks
Running circles ‘round blocks
And I got caught up in the moment
The moment of another time
When yours was mine and I-
I never spoke in solitude
The egg cracked, the glass shattered
And slipped away the happy pattern
Woke up and the first thought wasn’t you
All the feelings felt were untrue
And I realized I was left completely alone
Feeling helpless in this place I call home
Not good enough for chance,
At this point, how could feet possibly dance?
You lit a match that instantly sent my thoughts to hell
I started telling stories as my heart fell
Possibilities scattered, tears poured, but all was silent

Reflections through puddles and glass
The mirror only tells half the story
Get over your lullabies sweet child
1, 2, skip a few, the days go by so slowly

I’d walk through summer heat and rain
But as my fingernails dig deep,
There are no following footsteps,
Never any cravings other than my own

The siren frogs and sitting logs
Eyes like a bug, attracted to the light
But I can’t back away from the sky
And I told myself months ago…

                        Don’t be the chaser.