I'm not a child
woman I'm
this wanting thing between
two arms
shaped like a body
I've been alive with the breeze for
centuries, darling

my love wasn't being made to make you feel foolish
you can't learn from that
wash your hands now, it's midnight
I'm
out the window
I wonder
what you wanted
and hold the whiskey in my mouth
singing be mine
for the company
cause I don't want to be ashamed to love you

& I'm tired.
Tired of sleeping after sweet dreams /
I'm sitting up now because you know I can't sleep  
who wants to sleep after a beg like that
I'm not built to be listless
I'm built for better, I'm strong
& you're
the 4pm sun in October
you're the reason I whistle in a hundred colors
It's a beautiful torture to miss a hand so much
to wear rings for the memory of fingers and to crave a cheek, not only for it's mouth but because feeling you allows me to breathe easy

it's enough feeling
forgotten, (you'd think)
seeing her brush go
everywhere but the paper;
wondering if I missed something /
love makes me a believer in naive
less sleep, questioning everything.
questioning wander it's
no wonder I don't dream it's
games atop bodies
it's no wonder I drink;
I've been screaming for you
every day of the week
choking on salt from the waves
in your sea of bad timing

the truth's not poetic.
I can't fight for you
when I'm being folded

I just don't feel
strong or
not stronger
just
some memories
wear black &

what's getting over when
i've stopped climbing ?
my feelings aren't
being tucked
they're
getting up

great love to me is frightening
it's all ache and burn
the
rearranging of breath & bones
justifying anything at all to see that
smile in front of me
I can't
rightfully explain it the way my knees can
or my
right hand but
I like to call it floating
I like to feel that &
sink at the same time \
it's confusing and beautiful;
hours become petals,
heartbeats are worthy and
it is cold settling after this.
it is unbreathable
when the warmth gets wasted

the poetry wasn't about her
it was the birds I;
I found it under her bones
cause
we aren't the same while we sleep
we're
so far away &

lately
4:00AM isn't what time it is
it's
me choking
and when we
talk about the weather it's not
conversation it's
burning and
blood just doesn't run the same
once it's been touched

her fists fit perfect in the slow
rooms of this body
& I'd get so high standing on her knees getting saved by each
fleeting leave in her breathing

let's cross straight & never say it
undress my restless legs
& leave them guessing how far
they'll fall again for you

thighs don't have minds but
mine can't forget
your resting neck, please
spare me the muscle memory;
are we street lights or are we better ?
my feet remember how it felt
running to you
my legs, beg for less bruising
but I think that you're worth it

I won't give up the way I gave in &
I hope you see the difference;
I hope that when the taste fades
you remember what it was made of

silver linings don't exist honey;
those are your veins