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Julie Butler May 2015
can't pacify the mind through a mouth made for biting
cannot hide lies like it's night, darling the sun's always rising
I guess you could lie here if you'd like, with a throat so inviting
diving through oceans of blight, living off breaths from your prizing
I'd like to rewind time to nights, i'm surrounded by silence
It is in quiet I find, all of my time fighting guidance
it is in hiding that light finds the right to shine brightest
we're given only one life, why's no one rising and shining ?
I'd like to forget it sometimes
ignoring all signs of my plight
i'd like to just feel things sometimes, without having to write it
I'd like to feel you at night
now I need something to type with
I just want to feel you tonight
I am forced only to *write it
we are alive, be alive
we are in love, be in love
Julie Butler May 2015
it is unwise to avoid certainty
i've turned silent for landscapes
made for deprived mothers
queens to deafening men
lost of their purposes
why have they hidden her crown ?

I have your legs
but we're running such antithetical courses
Mother, I miss you but I cannot come home
I gain weight
I lose sleep
there are no lovers left for me
the wind has an ancient distaste now
for all the nights I exhaled complacency
I want to sleep with my door open
I can trust anything under a Libra moon
but never another repeated phrase
me, you
the first place I swam, the first meal
this is trust
you are love

I never learned to love mountains
but I was born with memories of them
I was born in Florida

I've picked apart women that
didn't deserve or earn it
like petals
she loves me
she loves me not
she loves me

when did I learn to grasp ?
to keep
we should be taught instead to let go          
before we are learned to catch
so we aren't holding on so tightly

I strangled myself
I learned quickly to let go
& became grateful of deep-breaths
weary of knots
weary of nots

I refuse to be my own worst enemy
I am all that is mine. all that I find is fleeting. eventually all things will lift, just as they will be dropped or put down
to keep, ha !
walk into my room
I have nothing
it is easier to breathe like this
I don't like being alone with shadows  

we are all royal
skin and salt
iron and decay
bone over brain
over-thinking our day
we are alive
we are afraid
we are okay
we are okay
we are
Julie Butler Apr 2015
in doing, I am done
I've been slow burned by thighs
I've been followed by thumbs
you
erase me from my path
I knew something
I knew something
I just didn't know you
sudden existence
sudden power
I am not a slingshot's rock
I am her aim

all the land is grey
day after day
night after coming

you
who is you
what is this
you: like brandy
like honey
you burn going down my throat
and I need it
up and down and inside, behind
I counted your knuckles with my head pressed breathless into that pillow
you make math feel good
you made deep seek deeper

lets be dogs and you can lock yourself inside  of me next time. you can decide again when to leave.

are we leaves ?
always leaving
you the beast
and me a tree
climbed in & you fed from me
the last tooth to sink that way
& I will have to die toothless now without it

you you
again & again
like seasons
like summer
you came after I've sprung
now, what's done is did and what's left must be wrung out to quench thirst; let us not be wasteful.

instilled & in bloom
I watched you turn every rose the right color
you walk past the cherry tree and she fills your pockets
red
red
we are stained now

tell me how to have you and I'll have it

& your name
my favorite taste
reminds me of Florida in May
simplicity on heat
& always wet
Julie Butler Apr 2015
it didn't matter
cause you were mine
&
it was night time
Julie Butler Apr 2015
hour after hour
like rust on top of rust
I've confused lust halves
for must haves
& taught myself to ******
until I learned to trust myself
far more than any soul
it's just, I fell in love with me
and so
I'm good to let you go
Julie Butler Apr 2015
I drew a ring around your nose
picked a couple roses
a pocket full of pros
Afraid to know how far you'll throw this
now my mouth is full of
ashes
ashes
we'll all watch me fall down
dizzy is as dizzy does
I watched you watch me hit the ground
I stumbled, tumbling on my feet
I stood up in a whirl
your ring we're calling Rosie
is one complicated girl
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