waking up is always the same
one lonely body
in her garden of graves
my heat is just that
my heat
my dreams are still mine
just because you haunt them -
a reminder to dread nothing
no toothless lion
clawless beast
I'll fly from your split
jolts, I never come back from
I don't believe in reach
not unless I am shown stretching
arms do not speak
but they release
it's been done
& done & done to me
freed, "you are safer like this"
loveless lips, the only ones I see
& feeding from the tips of a liar's teeth  
fed until I depended on it
then thrown into a gust
I'll fly far away from you;

& hopefully soon
when enough is e n o u g h

my instincts will kick in

when I fell for you
I handed you my feet
that night in the city
my lips forgave ****** down Haight street
we searched for cigarettes
I slammed to my knees
I still can't believe you were right there with me
I found your mouth
your hands
my hands
your back (I want you back)
& you
you
with all my attention, darling
I watched you ride off with it
I watched your eyes
I watched you leave
you took my bones and breath
I'm a paper bag
I am just dead leaves
useless as wreaths
and I'll sit
i'll stay, a good girl
a good girl
I'm great at waiting
Patient like the dead
a professional faker
& suddenly yours, nonetheless

I sing, you sleep
across my knees
my little queen
you're almost three
the sweetest thing I've ever seen
you don't know what you mean to me
we read, preparing you to dream
you hold my hand
& tell me things
I'm teaching you
but you teach me
I've learned more from you than anything
five more minutes in my lap
you laughed after the fish-kiss smacks
& your smile drifts you off to sleep
leaving this room is the hardest thing

they call me: gypsy, runner, thief
be you my gold, my feet, my greed

meet me on streets
we have not seen
unwarrant wants, deep breaths, relief

I will not front;
give you my teeth

we're breaking rules, my dear
we're weak

I am not yours

o b v i o u s l y

claim me
this own
without defeat

I'm chasing dreams
but i don't sleep

my pillow smells like you
like need

so lost behind
what I can't seek

f i n d i n g that time holds no belief

that I was freed
c u r i o u s l y

I watched you leave my street
quickly

that I should wait
so p a t i e n t l y

to bring your body back to me

I will not beg
I wouldn't plead

but I would have you still believe
you'd still have me if you should leave

should you come back I would agree

for you i'd gather everything
not rings, but things that you might need

I'd love you deeper than the sea

in love with you , i am
*a l r e a d y

woman, you horse
running courses like meals
with steel heels I can feel you
my galloping thrill
eat the grass from my body
run your tongue up my hills

it is the ride that excites me
it is your build that I fear

taking the first path to Nashville
you are no longer near
my fields need your mouth
if you're not here
I'm not either

my lips, limbs
this skin
I don't recognize them
I breathe out
& breathe in
my lungs do without it
how did it begin
to then end
before it is poured
I am opening doors
it is yours
this is yours
I'm picking my sores
& my bones off the floor
I cannot bend anymore
all of my laces have torn
& I'll front-face a storm
I haven't a fear of disaster
it is my hope that gets choked
& sharp pains replace laughter
what did I look like before this
& who's is this voice
what comes after you've left
I do not have a choice

I've not been known to nest low
I've stayed fairly high
but I've been let go to shatter
& glass birds do not fly

I've been bent and folded
like an old love letter
being read over and over again

release me from this dreaded message
you read the lead stained sheets like a drunk poet
and when you've finished, you made a square of me

you do this with your hands
hands
fingertips
what is in your skin
wrists
your teeth
I'm a cliff's edge
crashing in your sea

you're the last drag of a cigarette I should have never lit
& i'm the lungs, the tar
with all these ashes in my spit

I've inhaled disease
breathing in the thick of you
I choke like a smoker does
& now nothing else will do