How do I
close my eyes & not see you
believe that you're real
when my hands
they can't feel you
in disarray I'm stranded
and land just can't be land
if i can't plant in it or stand it

what does her hair smell like
darling
I'm dying to know
yes I can tell you that she's pretty
but it burns inside my bones
& you can hear my ****** silence
pouring from my nose
that I can taste your empty pressing
tearing at my clothes
every inch of all my skin
is stretched over the phone
I don't know how far I can take this
but I know how far it goes
& I might try to show you patience
until my chest is left exposed
my tongue it sifts through all this
sound
until my mouth is all you know

blacked out
i've blacked out
these images of need
confusing wants with
something i'm not even sure I can believe
but these wants feel more like needs
& I cannot see passed them
if it is something i can't see
than show me how I can have them
deceived
it is deceiving
believing in your dreams
when you wake up
and nothing is as quite as it once seemed
and here i am
so far away
from things that I was seeing
dreading time and space
and everything
keeping me from sleeping
take me back now
take me back
to these movies of you
cause it's the only place
I get your face
& it's become my favorite view

I dream to see daylight on top of you
& me on top of that
I like to imagine you in nothing
on your back, lying down flat
& somedays
I want your waist
to know exactly what you taste like
I'd be quiet
I'll lay sideways
with your leg between my thighs and
I have climbed miles of vines
I grew myself with my bad timing
of staying up too late
at night
drinking wine to fuel some writing
about a girl a world away
starting fires burn inside me
she knows not
one drop of
the
information that I'm hiding
I'll admit
I keep my volume & my thoughts about her
silent
but even her nothing
is exciting
it's just my chest begs for your
head and in my bed I'm left
deprived

I've lost my grace tonight with whiskey
& sitting patient on a plane
I'm driven crazy by your face
& how it's swallowing my brain
I feel so
i n a p p r o p r i a t e
with the things I want to say
my hands are idle with intention
& your spine's calling my name
who do I blame this on tonight
for wanting you so bad
my nails are living for the day
they trace the inside of your back
I cannot focus now at all
I've got these i d e a s like scripture
I'm drawing down the halls I've fallen on
to make a perfect picture
the thought of you exhausts me
& I'm not ready for your swoon
for this my hands they do profess
under your dress
in your bedroom

I want to be that thing for you
when water reflects all the scenery above it
I image cypress
to be dimensionless
that's what I want

I woke up tired today
even for me
I felt tied down to my sheets
tides sliding through thoughts of you
watched you glide down my shoreline
wash you out from my teeth. to. my. feet.
I think it's your eyes, darling
they're like colliding stars
I tell myself not to look
& start clutching my arms
I tell my heart to be silent
causing my chest too much harm
I was fine until your name
came and rang all my alarms
now the courtyard of my quiet
was taken from me
like breath after breath
until I no longer see
& in that very first second
I learned of that face
I knew nothing more than
maybe
it belonged in my hands
& pulled it close so I could taste it

i want to hand something to you
that we both have not seen
i'm sure you think you know more
in your decade
than in all my missed scenes
but i'm in no competition
I just want your attention
i wish you had less on your plate
than what you'd find in my kitchen
with your permission
i'd like to submit something
a premonition of my being
but these thoughts turn into dreams
& if i can't lie still
than sleep i found
is hard to achieve
when i carry nothing;
what do we sing for ?
when that curtain drops pressure
it's not something i'd lean on
but an idea
of a beautiful woman
an impossible girl
the kind that sends your knees to the ground
she'll make your jaw hit the floor