here you've shown up;
leaving me to guess where you came from
expecting me to know what to do with you
(with this)
& now waking up is exhausting
falling asleep is impossible
cause I'm not allowed to smell you
& this falling
this fall will be what kills me

you've got a face like a diamond
I'll cut to the chase
like somebody designed it
for a woman that's so hard to find
let me find you & sleep behind it
you're a dime boo
it's blinding
and if he says he don't want you, he's a blind fool
cause you're mind food
you're a crowned jewel
they gotta **** with me to get ta you
you're better than fried food and good news
you better than Cher songs and new shoes
and I wrote this just for you
cause I heard 3 seconds of a wayne song and lost my cool
cause you're the coolest
and if i was part of a news cast i'd weather your blues
& I ain't even gay for you
I just think you're a ruler and wanna break rules with you
I wanna watch people skate like there's nothing better to do
and when the day is ******* done
i'll be like
dude, you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule

sometimes, I wonder what you think about
when your eyes are closed
through all the florescent shapes that
melt and bend around the objects
you were focusing on before;
and if it's ever me
I've been seeing you everywhere
today I saw you in the ocean
I listened to waves and rocks
crash beneath my feet
and while that child laughed with every gull
I thought I heard you speak
for the past hour
I've stayed silent
listening only to the incessant caw of these ravens
and praying they never stop
& wished instead to hear your footsteps
with every leaf that dropped
I'm having a hard time with your face today
that I so badly want to kiss it
& fearing for my sanity
that I should ever miss it
circumstance is such a strange concept to me
it's when I c a n n o t be with you
that
I can no longer
breathe

here I
lie on my back
this ceiling (white)
is my sky tonight
alone
my legs whisper
what I do not need to hear
from my toes to to my thighs
i try
to peel you away
from staying too late
inside of my brain
cause I need sleep honey
I need a lot of things
mostly string
so i can tie my bells to you
that way i'll know when you're close
because lately
you show up out of no where
&oh; how you l i n g e r
you'd think
somehow
I'd had you before
the way that I want you right now
but that doesn't matter
i'm just a scatter at night time
I'm wasting time on paper
and usually I can figure out what to do
but not like this
cause she has what I want
what I silently love
my useless truth
darling
i'm blue
because I have your attention
but she;
she has you

Keep it to yourself
I yelled
from the top of that hill
slow down heart
be quiet;
be still
you beat & you jump
please refuel these old lungs
maybe not with that taste
I've become too fond of
like liquor
like ***
a name burns up my tongue
now I run
& I run
to the front of my dungeon
I tried burning you out
but my thoughts of you flooded
I'm up to my chin
drowning slowly
I see it
It just isn't that easy
to ignore what I'm feeling, seeing
I could not breathe when I saw it
& then it knocked me off my feet
like there were bombs
in my carpet

s o m e t i m e s
late at night
while I'm gawking at the sky
I make up spells with the stars
I play your face in my mind
and with your chains I am guided
through space & inside time
there is a life wherein you're mine
a silent light behind my eyes
it does the opposite of blind
& I am enlightened by this find
I say your name quite q u i e t l y
that even the birds feel so inclined
that i'm reminded of your smile
every time I watch them fly
you're like a diamond in a dream
that shines inside of wind-chimes
playing songs during my sleep
my own *r o m a n t i c lullaby
the brightest beam I've ever seen
you belong beside the sky
& sometimes
just s o m e t i m e s
things aren't always as they seem
you know you can't say that to me
for I know exactly what i've seen

duplicated hills
spilling thrills upon water
I watched the sun go down
I watched the bay change
& I wondered
why do i drive late at night
just to be all alone
get me away from this bridge
& take me back home
I'm spilling my guts tonight
& I don't care who sees it
I have enough on my plate
to feed every beast needing
I wish I could spin this wheel
& flip me around
park my car in your yard
in your bed I'd lay down
but I cannot tonight
my thoughts are all slipping
but i think I've grinned enough
to sleep tight where i'm living
there is a chance this night
to see your sweet face
if i could just close my eyes
& sleep now
to not waste
another second
being selfish
in writing this out
i wish to wake up with you
i n s t e a d  o f
face down