I've lost my grace tonight with whiskey
& sitting patient on a plane
I'm driven crazy by your face
& how it's swallowing my brain
I feel so
i n a p p r o p r i a t e
with the things I want to say
my hands are idle with intention
& your spine's calling my name
who do I blame this on tonight
for wanting you so bad
my nails are living for the day
they trace the inside of your back
I cannot focus now at all
I've got these i d e a s like scripture
I'm drawing down the halls I've fallen on
to make a perfect picture
the thought of you exhausts me
& I'm not ready for your swoon
for this my hands they do profess
under your dress
in your bedroom

I want to be that thing for you
when water reflects all the scenery above it
I image cypress
to be dimensionless
that's what I want

I woke up tired today
even for me
I felt tied down to my sheets
tides sliding through thoughts of you
watched you glide down my shoreline
wash you out from my teeth. to. my. feet.
I think it's your eyes, darling
they're like colliding stars
I tell myself not to look
& start clutching my arms
I tell my heart to be silent
causing my chest too much harm
I was fine until your name
came and rang all my alarms
now the courtyard of my quiet
was taken from me
like breath after breath
until I no longer see
& in that very first second
I learned of that face
I knew nothing more than
maybe
it belonged in my hands
& pulled it close so I could taste it

i want to hand something to you
that we both have not seen
i'm sure you think you know more
in your decade
than in all my missed scenes
but i'm in no competition
I just want your attention
i wish you had less on your plate
than what you'd find in my kitchen
with your permission
i'd like to submit something
a premonition of my being
but these thoughts turn into dreams
& if i can't lie still
than sleep i found
is hard to achieve
when i carry nothing;
what do we sing for ?
when that curtain drops pressure
it's not something i'd lean on
but an idea
of a beautiful woman
an impossible girl
the kind that sends your knees to the ground
she'll make your jaw hit the floor

here you've shown up;
leaving me to guess where you came from
expecting me to know what to do with you
(with this)
& now waking up is exhausting
falling asleep is impossible
cause I'm not allowed to smell you
& this falling
this fall will be what kills me

you've got a face like a diamond
I'll cut to the chase
like somebody designed it
for a woman that's so hard to find
let me find you & sleep behind it
you're a dime boo
it's blinding
and if he says he don't want you, he's a blind fool
cause you're mind food
you're a crowned jewel
they gotta **** with me to get ta you
you're better than fried food and good news
you better than Cher songs and new shoes
and I wrote this just for you
cause I heard 3 seconds of a wayne song and lost my cool
cause you're the coolest
and if i was part of a news cast i'd weather your blues
& I ain't even gay for you
I just think you're a ruler and wanna break rules with you
I wanna watch people skate like there's nothing better to do
and when the day is ******* done
i'll be like
dude, you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule

sometimes, I wonder what you think about
when your eyes are closed
through all the florescent shapes that
melt and bend around the objects
you were focusing on before;
and if it's ever me
I've been seeing you everywhere
today I saw you in the ocean
I listened to waves and rocks
crash beneath my feet
and while that child laughed with every gull
I thought I heard you speak
for the past hour
I've stayed silent
listening only to the incessant caw of these ravens
and praying they never stop
& wished instead to hear your footsteps
with every leaf that dropped
I'm having a hard time with your face today
that I so badly want to kiss it
& fearing for my sanity
that I should ever miss it
circumstance is such a strange concept to me
it's when I c a n n o t be with you
that
I can no longer
breathe