Somebody please stop the bleeding
Pouring from my grief
If I could believe in something real
It wouldn't feel like pulling teeth
I want relief or something like it
Or maybe some release
I need a break from all this *******
that burns inside of me
I wish you'd hand over your keys
Sit down and have a drink
I think you think a bit too much
But you aren't sharing it with me
Cause you see life is like a game
In which we hand over our chips
But I see life as something planned
In which I get to kiss your lips
Because I think about your skin
Makes me loosen up my grip
Instead of clenching up my fists
I start hand making you gifts
I'm not at all for giving up
I hope in time you won't forget
I know my mind reserves the lines
And in your head it's softly scripted

I wish to rest my head on your chest bones
I don't know what you smell like
But you felt like home
& I don't know what to tell you
I wish you hadn't been wronged
If I could say it to your face
I'd kiss your mouth for so long
Sometimes life is like a song
we never really learn the words to
I want to let you inside mine
& recite them one by one to show you
that we're just a bunch of people
thinking way too much
we don't even know each other
let me take you out to lunch
I would be lying if I tried to say
that I don't want to touch you
I'd be a liar for denying
how much it burns to
want
to
learn
you
I hope to earn this trust in time
& I know time is such a virtue
I hope with time to make you mine
& with that time i'll never hurt you

I guess I know just what you're thinking
But you know not of what I do
When I'm sitting in my room
Daydreaming only about you
I guess you feel a little foolish
I guess I acted like a fool
I wish you knew how I was feeling
I wish you knew it's all for you

I want to learn to speak to you
in a tongue that sets you free
Without sounding like a freak
when I explain how my brain
leaks the need
to fit like your sheets do
I'll find the beat
a beat that sings for you
and greet you like a breeze
in the afternoon
too soon
it's too soon
to think like I do
but I can't help the swell down
from feeding my truth
& when I breathe, I freeze
like my lungs need it too
you remind me of beaches back home
in the middle of June
how the sand fits my feet
is how I dream of fitting you
cause your hair is like a sunrise
and your eyes are like the moon
and your voice crashes waves
that hit my shore like a monsoon
and i'm sure that it's too soon
in fact I know that I am doomed
but the way you say my name
feels like a thing i'd never ruin

I have to watch my steps now
So i'm not always tripping
Tried to forget what believing felt like
and what i'm not always missing
I want to start forgetting now
all of what I knew
Cause I didn't know her
and I don't know you
I guess it's all up to me now
to find the right things to do
but I've run out of moves
I tripped twice last night
over my shoes and the moon
& biting my tongue these days
is getting easier to do
but the shake makes me loose
& i'll break if I lose it
So I'll face this today
and I won't waste all my minutes
on the hours I spent and days
on resentment
& I pray for the day
for the day it won't matter
I hope by then I get smarter
I hope by then I feel better

I'd like to find these
silver linings
through all the rust
but it just reminds me
( of )
your metal heart
my steel rib cage
how i licked my fingertips
to flip through your pages
how everyday
busts me in s t a g e s
do I stay this way
or rearrange it
i'm a deranged fish
swimming in cages
that i build for myself
& choking on phrases
that mean nothing to you
so why waste time
trying to say them
i'm trying to save this
( idea )
for myself
instead of swimming in circles
for everyone else
it's outrageous

I searched for nothing
& On the ground is where I found it
I was astounded at how loud
all of it sounded
Nothingness
Like a crowd with no boundaries
I found out the hard way
Like I got hit in the knees
With a hammer
******* her
& All of these seasons
I'd have better reasons
If I had two hands to believe in
I'm tangled in strands
Strangled and clamped by her breathing
I'm damaged by dampness
thigh handling freedom
I breathe in again
Just until I breathe out
Still filled up with nothing
It's pouring
out
of
my
mouth