Let me replace the filth
with something more beautiful
(when i did it was peaceful)
I'd like to erase the guilt
but i can't
cause it's useful
and you
you're not truthful
at all
you're removable
and that's all that I need
to prove that I can move through it all
and thank god I learned fast
that you're not who I thought you were
cause there's better than you
everywhere that I've fallen
& even when I stand up
& dust off
I laugh at the silly stuff
when your words mean nothing
and everything turns back on
when I shut you off
& you were my rock
that I just threw down a mountain

Oh I'd love to know more
I love knowing better
I change my view
& changed the weather
forget about poison honey
I float like a feather
& leaves
now we leave
this get-together
i never felt pressure
it only felt better
we sat & I pressed our hands together
New England
sweet wind and heavily wined
you changed my mind
I change my mind
as I fly blind
b a c k
to a different time
a different line from a hymn I've been humming
a different track than the one I've been running
my home, please know i am coming
I wouldn't; but love
I have this need
to show you something

it's all about focusing different
being kind is the key
am I still *******?
or finally free
cause I can't breathe and I need to scream badly
I can't breathe and you will always be
way more than being seen when I see you
now I'm less likely to dream cause I'm such a deep sleeper
& when i fall beneath
I just hope you fall deeper

I need to unwind this tight binding on my mindset
I want to rewind time and refine all of my blind frets
without regretting anything
it's an undefined stretch
& Life isn't t i m e l e s s
time just passes
and that's
all
that
we
get

I should have just
Kissed you in front
of everyone
and all at once
I shouldn't have
Jumped over
the lump in my throat
To get passed
All the notes that you wrote
Ink that stained my paper skin
Stand naked & read
over and over again
There is no more begins with
Like a light switch
Your hands turned me on
and every room would shine
I sleep in pitch black now
cause you aren't mine
& I might seem fine
but at night I'm reminded
and light only brightens
the empty space on my chest
where you'll always belong

You let me
Paint your nails at a bar
And
I fell in love with you
In line for ice cream
Searching faces on a wall
That was our flume
you were my star
I thought our plot
would end up on Mars
We road hard
I road you hard
I cannot seem
To forget your arms
Now I'm scarred
Feathered and worded
I traced your courage
To stick around
When I wasn't flourishing
Until you had enough
How abrupt that was
I ****** us
You're fed up
With my flooding
I filled your cup with disgust
I should have drank it back up
But instead I poured worry
and our book got shut
& I wonder if you underlined
any of the words to that story

Should I shield myself
I'll feel nothing
If I open my chest up
My heart will start its running
My blood starts over flooding
Then suddenly
we're nothing
If this is what nothing feels like
Then I'd like to just feel something
Else
Something healthy
Like a hand
Something heavy

Something touching something else
You touched me far before you met me

Counting stars & feeling small
Small like it felt
right when you left me
But left just isn't right girl
Hard as rocks before you wrecked me
Sharp as shards and twice as deadly
Now I sit here like a log
& even the frogs have all misread me
My own heart is out to get me
But I will not say a word
This time
I'll stay focused on mine
While you try & look for yours