I have to watch my steps now
So i'm not always tripping
Tried to forget what believing felt like
and what i'm not always missing
I want to start forgetting now
all of what I knew
Cause I didn't know her
and I don't know you
I guess it's all up to me now
to find the right things to do
but I've run out of moves
I tripped twice last night
over my shoes and the moon
& biting my tongue these days
is getting easier to do
but the shake makes me loose
& i'll break if I lose it
So I'll face this today
and I won't waste all my minutes
on the hours I spent and days
on resentment
& I pray for the day
for the day it won't matter
I hope by then I get smarter
I hope by then I feel better

I'd like to find these
silver linings
through all the rust
but it just reminds me
( of )
your metal heart
my steel rib cage
how i licked my fingertips
to flip through your pages
how everyday
busts me in s t a g e s
do I stay this way
or rearrange it
i'm a deranged fish
swimming in cages
that i build for myself
& choking on phrases
that mean nothing to you
so why waste time
trying to say them
i'm trying to save this
( idea )
for myself
instead of swimming in circles
for everyone else
it's outrageous

I searched for nothing
& On the ground is where I found it
I was astounded at how loud
all of it sounded
Nothingness
Like a crowd with no boundaries
I found out the hard way
Like I got hit in the knees
With a hammer
******* her
& All of these seasons
I'd have better reasons
If I had two hands to believe in
I'm tangled in strands
Strangled and clamped by her breathing
I'm damaged by dampness
thigh handling freedom
I breathe in again
Just until I breathe out
Still filled up with nothing
It's pouring
out
of
my
mouth

Let me replace the filth
with something more beautiful
(when i did it was peaceful)
I'd like to erase the guilt
but i can't
cause it's useful
and you
you're not truthful
at all
you're removable
and that's all that I need
to prove that I can move through it all
and thank god I learned fast
that you're not who I thought you were
cause there's better than you
everywhere that I've fallen
& even when I stand up
& dust off
I laugh at the silly stuff
when your words mean nothing
and everything turns back on
when I shut you off
& you were my rock
that I just threw down a mountain

Oh I'd love to know more
I love knowing better
I change my view
& changed the weather
forget about poison honey
I float like a feather
& leaves
now we leave
this get-together
i never felt pressure
it only felt better
we sat & I pressed our hands together
New England
sweet wind and heavily wined
you changed my mind
I change my mind
as I fly blind
b a c k
to a different time
a different line from a hymn I've been humming
a different track than the one I've been running
my home, please know i am coming
I wouldn't; but love
I have this need
to show you something

it's all about focusing different
being kind is the key
am I still *******?
or finally free
cause I can't breathe and I need to scream badly
I can't breathe and you will always be
way more than being seen when I see you
now I'm less likely to dream cause I'm such a deep sleeper
& when i fall beneath
I just hope you fall deeper

I need to unwind this tight binding on my mindset
I want to rewind time and refine all of my blind frets
without regretting anything
it's an undefined stretch
& Life isn't t i m e l e s s
time just passes
and that's
all
that
we
get