I think I lost you today
somewhere between
good morning
and having nothing to say
when you know it
cause it feels different
like I should have been more self-aware
and you suddenly appear distant
not like you pushed me
you just told me to stay
so i'm sitting here lost
wishing my flesh away
so I don't have to feel you
or even dream it up
I think I heard what you said girl
but those words aren’t enough
cause my chest is inhaling
all the air off this shift
& this change in our atmosphere
has denied what I wished
should I forget it ?
forget it
i see signs in your dip
and now alone is how I leave you
and that's suddenly it

I want a woman to scour
& beat me with flowers
for hours to tower my
tightened empowerment
delighted by sight
at what hasn't been sighted
i'd be delighted if just for a night
you'd sit right by side
but that hasn't been quite yet decided
for a while sit tight and at night fight the silence
the silence of quiet excitement / be frightened
but don't be afraid of my plight
be delighted
i want to crawl all of your ribs
count your bites
i tried twice to fly right by your mind
to entice it
but tonight I just write to
make bright on my mind
on my mind you shine brightly
in my mind you're like lightening
and kindly I'm blinded
your beauty is blinding
I'd like to rewind
to remind
and remind
and remind
and remind you

My ability to expect
Is exceptionally disconnected
My head especially rejected
all the bad news I've been left with
Won't the sadness suddenly settle?
With all the battles noosed and beheaded
I'd be headed back to the moon
But even the bats know I'm embedded
I misread whatever was said and now it's our backs stabbed and regretted
Thinking:
if you had my back
it wouldn't have been that bad to begin with
Let's begin with some forgiveness
If you would sit down and actually listen
and when I'm finished you can pretend that in the end everything's different

I don't know if that was the right thing to say
of if I even know what that is anymore

By the way
Before I pass out
I want to say
that you're a babe
And not like a beach babe
or
like pancakes or anything
like that -
But like a babe, babe
Like the most gorgeous girl
Your voice is playing games with my sheets
and I can't sit still
I'm trying to sleep
but
I'm too excited
that
You'll be in my dreams
My pillows can't stand me
I can't stand where you are
And
You can't stand where I've been
And none of that will matter
After we get where we are going
Where does it start?
From the heart?
The heart deals like a shark would at a park in the dark
& I feel just like that **** shark
Drowning in all the bubbles you just blew in my mouth

For now
Only a hit will do
A drink too
You might as well
Make it two
I'm playing myself now
playing the fool
I need this fuel to undo you
You swallowed me whole
Is this how you'd un-chew me?
Undo me
How to misconstrue truth -
Either way
our ends got loose
& either way
I knew I loved you

My pocket is glowing
In most places it happens magically
But tonight it's just someone texting
grief and tragedy