1979
The motel was almost invisible
In the evening California fog.
I come here every year
I did their books.
They were my First customer.
I did not expect to met her.
The woman I should have met
Before fourteen years of marriage
And three children in the fold.
But my god it was a Collison
destined to happen
Decided by fate
Out of control.
A drink of wine
A fireplace glowing
to take the chill
of autumn from the cold air
And off my heart.
Sure we had ***
But thats not true
We had what
had been missing
from our lifes
Foe way too many years.
I knew and she knew
It was too strong of a bond
To put down to a passing fancy.
Just as much as our children knew
we would always be there
for them.
That we loved them.
And always would
do that what is right for them.
But twenty five years have gone bye
and I still do the books
for the old motel.
Every year at the same time.
And for a few days
she joins me.
And life is sweet
And the world's journey
is tested.by my needs.
And I feel the love
that I need
the warmth
that I crave.
And the woman
That  I love
And as she leaves me
The car engine of her vehicle
whines goodbye for now.
I whisper to myself
I love you honey.
See you.
same time next year
my love

The drunk tank was as bad as  I remembered  
from the last week.
The acrid smell of human waste
Permeated the dank air.

She was paying my bail
I could see her so clean and soft
So pretty
I thought if how she held me close
as we made love in our clean bed.
Before she threw me out
because of the drinking.

I felt ashamed at my look
I needed a shave and a shower.
But living on the city streets is hard.

She touched my hair softly
lifting it from my brow.
She said I always loved you
I still do you know.
I mumbled I loved her as well.

As we entered the bright sunlight outside
She said
I lost our son as well you know.
The tears filled my eyes
And my heart began to ache once more.
I turned and walked away
towards the signpost
for a town
named Oblivion.

Do you remember honey?
All the happy times we had
The plans that we made.
Retirement was to be our time.

Now I am so alone
Our little house reverberates
With your echoes.

I finally sent your dresses
To the goodwill.
I was storing them like a hoarder.

I still kept your favorite sweater
I sleep with it by my head.
When missing you
is just too hard for me bear
I bury my face in it to
capture the last fading scent
of your perfume.

I have left your open book
and your glasses
beside your chair.
As always

Its time for our nightly call.
I pick up our telephone..
And dial our own number.
You answer me as usual

The timbre of your voice
Reaches into my heart.
I know every
syllable and nuance
of your words.
But it's better than faded
photographs and letters.

You tell me
to leave a message.
I say softly
I miss you
so much my love.
So very much.

I know exactly
when I fell  in love with him.
It was at my sisters engagement party.
I was weeping.
I suppose I was jealous of my sister.
She had all that I did not.
No one was in sight
no one cares for me
well not beyond ******* me,
not for me, really

The fiancees best friend was a ****
he put the moves on me.
Another anonymous ****,
I thought.
I like your smell
are you wearing, my sin.
How ******* cheesy.

No, I hate perfume, I said,
I know you You Have a reputation
you would **** anything in a skirt.
I still like your smell he said.

And I wanted  to believe it
I guess I was lonely
Easy pickings.
I slept with him.
******* him,
it was sweet.

A couple of months later
I was pregnant, in the club
Up the spout,
Bun in the oven
Blasted into maternity
by a guided muscle.

But he just said, Oh ****
No worries love.
And He asked  to marry me.
I said are you crazy
He  said
yes i'm crazy about you.

At the wedding he sang
A beautiful love song
to me in Spanish
Right in front of everybody.
He learned ******* Spanish,
Just for me.
He had a horrible voice.
But it was the most beautiful thing
I have ever heard
so ******* beautiful.

When our daughter was born
he was the doting father.
He worshipped her
but he made me
feel like never before.
I loved him..
That womanizing *******
That treated me like gold.
He had stolen my heart.

Six years later
we have three kids now
I think he is probably
the best father
that ever was

But to me
He is the light,
that causes
my life to shine
Like diamonds.

Do you remember my darling
we were just children way back then.
we played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.
Drenched with happiness
in the summer rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.
Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew ...I knew.....I Knew……
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.
Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one last time.
I carried you out to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Now when I feel
lonely and sad.
and missing you is just
too hard for me to bear.
I stand in the pouring rain
and I can feel you close to me.
And the gentle pure rain
washes away my tears.

The night Silence is absolute
In the shadows of this moon
When crystal stars are twinkling
And all hearts sing a soulful tune

Oh moon! you look so lonesome
So bright and paper white
A canvas for lovers to paint on
Like my heart this summer night

Not all those  alone are lonely
Not all those  lonely are alone
Moon we have the world to see
Before my heart can find its home