As a little girl,
he sat next to me
at junior school.
I always liked him.
No much more than that.
Much much more....

Later at high school
we walked home together.
He would carry my books.
At graduation,
he was my date.
We even went
to college together.

That was when
we broke the chains
of friendship and
he became my lover.
My first and only love.

We married young
it was no surprise
to our parents.
They were expecting it.

Before I knew it
we had three kids.
Two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.

September 10, 2001

It was just like any other day.
He came home from work
Cooked burgers
on the backyard barbeque.

We got the kids to bed
drank a glass of wine
went to bed at ten.
He wanted to make love
but I was exhausted
the kids had
been terror's all day.

September 11, 2001

The next day
he kissed me goodbye.
With a see you later honey.
I got a call from my friend
She said quickly
put on the TV.

I saw the towers fall
Turning to ashes
Like my life did
at that moment.

All I could think was
I wish I had made love
to him last night.

September 11, 2018

The children are all
grown up now.
He would be
so proud of them.

I look at my strong
handsome son.
He looks like him exactly.

We stand at ground zero
and say a prayer.
I whisper
it was always you honey
Only you.

As if by magic
he answered me
A giant beautiful rainbow.
Circled over New York City.
And I know it was for me.

The Christmas Train
1946 England just after the war.

Christmas is hard to take when you are alone.
Its about giving and loving and family.
The war had been hell
fighting in the war everyone is a suspect.
The bomb had been planted in the road
and exploded as the jeep passed over it.
it killed five soldiers but I survived.
Well part of me did
I get flashbacks loud noises cause me
to freeze and tremble
. And I just don't to seem to care anymore
about anything.
I was a teacher before the war
at a quiet country school.
I could not even go back to that now.

The train trundled slowly forward
and the ***** railroad buildings passed by
after an hour or two

My fiance had met someone else
when I was away for a tour of duty in France.
I have no family so I decided to spend Christmas
on the train going up from London  to Inverness
the slow sleeper train it would pass the time.

On Christmas eve the old train rumbled past
the villages and towns of old England.
It crossed the border to Scotland ahhh Scotland
so rugged and beautiful.
Pristine lochs  wild mountains
snow capped hills and valley's
For the first time since the war I felt at peace.
In an effort to take in the seasons spirit
I was reading a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
Mr. scrooge was admonishing Bob Cratchet
for wanting Christmas day off from work.

When she stepped onto the train at Inverness.
I think she was the most beautiful woman
I have ever seen
I know my heart stopped beating.
She entered my carriage
Would it be alright if I joined you she smiled.
She took a package of ham sandwiches from her purse.
Would you care for one she asked
holding one out for me.
i was famished and accepted her offer.

She started the conversation
and seemed interested in what I had to say.
Even ignoring the stammer
that the wartime explosion had gifted to me.
We talked of family
and Christmas past
I told her of the Christmas times at greyfields school
for English boys
that I had taught at before the war.
Of the carol singing in the chapel
and the big party prior to the boys
going home for the holidays.

She seemed interested
and even smiled at my weak jokes.
I bought two weak after war british rail coffees
from the of char lady.

I told her the history of the town's
as we passed them
By York I was in love with her.

Somewhere in the adjacent carriage
a young boy with a soprano voice
sang o holy night
it was Christmas
and we were reaching our destination .

I supposed I would never see her again.
After all she was stunning
and I was  shell shocked wreck
of a boring old history teacher.

She sat next to me and kissed me full on the lips.
She whispered merry Christmas dear.
I was stunned and stammered merry Christmas dear lady.
She said I apologise
  for my forward behavior
I have never kissed a man uninvited before.
But you are so very shy.


Forty years later

I had returned to greyfields
and became the headmaster of that sainted school
we were now retired
in the house provided
for the headmaster emeritus and his wife.

I looked at her. For the last time
  from my bed it was my time at last my time.
I said do you remember
the Christmas train my darling.
She smiled lighting up her still beautiful eyes
I gave you half of my sandwich.
And you kissed me my love.
She smiled leaning forward.
Yes I kissed my life partner
that I had found at last.
Like this, her lips found mine
and she was the last thing of beauty
I saw in this world.

The old  train trundled
through the English countryside
we entered Scotland
It was Christmastime.
The old char lady pushed her tea trolley
past my carraige.
She said
Be patient
She will join you very soon dearie
at Inverness.

Something less than love
by
Jude Kyrie

I was only five when she left me
just a little boy.
That long ago summer
when the heat
burned upon the earth
and also on passions.
Of those who could feel them.

she left us with the handsome
man with the big car.
since then even after all
these passing years
I have looked
and searched for a place
to lose my sadness.
It was an improbable  search

sometimes in the stillness of sleep.
I would hear the songs she
sang as I fell asleep in her comfort.
or feel her lips softly on my cheek.
To feel my tears wiped dry by her lips

I dreamt of her often
hearing
her almost forgotten footsteps
coming into my room.
I painted her beautiful face
in my mind indelibly
until time faded it to a blur.

Now I am man no longer
The  little boy
with torn jeans and.
***** tee shirt.
And aching heart

people say to me
dumb things like.
She is still out there
and thinks of you everyday.
With a mother's love in her heart.
You can't lose that ever.

I nod in concert with their thoughts.
I whisper sure or maybe.
But
I know that  inside of her heart.
it's something less than love.
yes for sure.
Something much less than love

By
Jude kyrie

When I first saw him
I thought how ordinary he looked.
Not my type at all.
Certainly, he was no movie star.

But he waited outside my small flat.
Day after day
in the pouring seattle rain.
Soaked to the skin.
just to catch a glimpse of me.

After a week I gave in.
And went out with him.
More to get rid of him.
Than anything else.

He was so **** comfortable.
Like an old
Sunday morning sweater.
I have no idea
Six months later.
Why I said yes when
he asked me to marry him.

Perhaps because the night
sky was too blue and star-filled.
Or because he cried
when Bambi's mother died.
Or because he was so gentle.
And I knew he would never
Try to control or hurt me,

He always knew all my moods,
my sadness sometimes happy
or so often broken.
He knew just what to say to
clear away the pain.
He made me laugh so easily.
How did you always make me
feel so beautiful honey

When the sickness came
He tried to hide it from me.
But I knew…...I knew...I knew

I have lost him now
and the world is not as bright
as it once was.

There have been other imposters
I acted out the choreographed
movements of love with them.

But in the fading light of evening.
when darkness swallowed the twilight.
It was always you honey.
Only you.
Because only you
knew how to fix me.

There is mournful sound
in the November rain.
Haunting rain.

Tap, tap, tapping
on the darkened pane,
Window pane

Cold winds blowing
with an icy breath,
With a wailing voice
that whispers death.
What gives such sadness
to this rain?
November Rain.

Lovers wail
inside this rain
It cries like a soul
in human pain.
Souls in pain.

Its Frozen wetness
chills the flowers heads
Ice cold upon
their summer beauty
now lay dead.
such beauty fades in frozen vain
In the cruel November rain

Stirring  brown leaves
now blown and fled
Weeping on  gravestones
where more than
leaves lie dead.

Do they haunt
our memories once again
In the relentless wailing
November rain?
Haunting rain.

On winter nights the heart remembers
The warmth if love in glowing embers

When children home and family glowed
Along a distant time passed road

Eyes that gazed so wide and bright
Falling in love and wedding nights

When the world was filled with sacred vows
and the days were only made of now’s

Of a time so filled with life's perfection
Now lost inside a faint reflection.

But time slips bye slowly day by day
Until all is spent and you went away

Now winter nights are all that remain
With distant moments to ease the pain