sometimes my love,
the familiar sight of you
burnished by the years.
dusting a table
or lighting a candle.
or reading a book.
fills me with the need to revisit
my deepest  
love and affection for you.

i look at how we became us.
and how I am thankful
for having you.

How graceful you are,
polishing the old silver of our life.
leaving your lavender scent upon pillows
Dreams hiding behind your beautiful eyes.
Those eyes,
That have always graced me
Through the years.
with the look of your love.

And of moments
when we return to the flesh.
You shine your love like old silver
with schoolgirl smile and loosened hair.
ignoring the ravages of the passing years
Always with loving
style and grace.

Embracing our span of days.
Ever steady against
the tides of flowing years.
you are
My safe harbor  
My anchor  
My guiding light
My truest love.

Apple Crumble


My daughter was about six.
That age of ceaseless question's.
Here it came the doozy.
The one I was waiting for,
Mommy, where did I come from.?

I should have been better prepared.
She had caught me off my guard.
Do I make this a biology lesson.
Full of penisses and vaginas.
Or does she deserve the hard truth.?
I rationalize the truth is always better.

You come from the purest
snows of the
Canadian rockies.
Endless Cold winter days
And nights.

where I ached for your father.
We made love on the bed
and kitchen table.
Underwear was  strewn
All about the house.

Burning in fires
that needed quenching.
Even when I was  making
apple crumble in the kitchen.

Her eyes looked quizzically at me .
demanding a better answer.

She said
Mom so babies come
from apple crumble?
I said yes honey
That's right.
From apple crumble

Tonight I am breaking the promise
that I made to myself, once again.
The one I made
to my heart and soul.
That I would not write love
poetry to you ever again.

To lock the doors to my heart
So those thoughts of you
Could not get back inside.
And haunt me in my dreams.

I am throwing away
the keys to my heart.
Into the deepest ocean.
Never to be found again.

To exercise the ghost you left
haunting the ruins of my soul.
Walking about inside it
As if it was still your home.
even though
I was ever enough
to keep you here.

I promised I would let you go.
To continue surviving and breathing
Even with the dagger
You left in my heart.

I promised myself
I did not need thoughts
of you to write
my poetry any more.

But here I am again.
Writing to you more love poems.
Because you are still at the base
of every one of my thoughts.

And without you
There is no more
poetry left in me.
So because....because of that.
This is better....
........This is better
.......................This is better.
Than nothing at all.

In my heart the sadness flows
Of all of those loves we win and lose
I know it's just the  way it goes
But the choices are all mine to choose

Come back to me, my first embrace
In purples let me find my muse
Oh to see your sweet bright face
The one my heart can never lose

The night is cruel it haunts my mind
The voices are from a long lost time
Stop being cruel for once be kind
Stop showing me when she was mine.

When Love Walks In and takes you for a spin
By
Jude Kyrie

Even when I was only a little boy
in grade school.
Even then I knew what love looked like.
She wore glasses
and had two long pigtails
I carried her books everywhere.
She treated me
like her puppy at home.

In high School
I met love again.
Love  was more like a woman now.
But still a little girl inside.
Her softness was forming.
We looked into
each other's eyes
love and I.
Under starry nights,
And full of the glow of prom dances.
I bought love a corsage
Love kissed me for the very first time.


In college, love was now a grown woman
Full of radical  ideas and opinions.
Love stopped wearing lipstick.
And started calling men *******.
I said to love I am a man --I think
Love took me to her bed
She said not you the others.
And then left me for another guy.

After college.
I married love she was different
She was maternal this love.
She wanted to build a nest.
Where we could raise a family.
We had three kids love and I.
And I got left behind somehow.

I became the father of loves children.
And loves husband and breadwinner.
A bunch of labels.
Love stopped
seeing me as a man.
I nearly died of loneliness


After the divorce
I was  forty-five.
The kids left home
Love And I split up.

I found love again.
She was older wiser did not fall for
the cries of men easily.
She took no wooden nickels.
But I loved her .
Love said we do ok for retreads.
I told love she was beautiful
Even when her eyes were red
From crying of her lost love.
Then she wept
perhaps once too often.
And love  left me.


It's been awhile since love left.
But I know she is out there somewhere .
sipping a latte at Starbuck's in Seattle
or
Watching the Christmas  tree light
in Washington's square.
Or
Sunbathing in a bikini on a beach in LA.

You see when love left me.
I left the door open.
I whispered softly.
Bye for now Love,
thanks
for coming to see me.

Don't be a  stranger love
come back soon
I love it when you are around.

Here I am again my love.
alone writing love poems for you.
Poems that I know
you will never understand.

Do you remember the old railway station?
bustling with commuters and noise
soot flying in the summer air
and you  stepping from the train
blooming like the sun
in a bright yellow dress.

Oh god you were so beautiful
more than my heart could stand.
Just the feeling of your lightness
your body under the delicate cotton.
You were all my air
all my sunlight
all the desires
that made me exist.

How you tantalized me
with your feminine power
and I was your besotted victim.

You have left me now
of course.
Such beauty as yours
is not for ordinary men like me.
You have returned
to the old station
taken the train
to the bright city lights.

Take all my things
I do not want them, anymore.
Take my heart
it only beats for you anyway.

I shall sit here forever
at the old station
writing love poems for you.
beautiful and lyrical
and burning with passion.
Love poems that I know
you will never understand.

It was the first blossoms of  May
I think
A time of perfumes and fragrances
That dripped promises like honey.
No matter my love,
that some would fade
like the cherry blossoms

My heart was filled back then with a
room full of tomorrows.
Our children were asleep in their beds
the youngest as new as the lilacs.
And we sat closely together

Sharing the spring morn with a coffee ***.
I still remember,
The morning sunlight caught the burnished
shine of your beautiful hair.
I thought how good it would feel
Cascading onto my bare chest.

I looked at you at that tender moment.
Not as my wife
or the mother of my children.
But as the woman I could not
get enough of when we first met.

I know we were always working
back then
always tired from disturbed sleep.
Never enough money
to go around.

But even now after
a long lifetime together.
If you were to ask me
were you happy
back then my love,
I would answer
yes my love
so happy
so very happy.