My life is a cycle of the same mistakes
with the consequences violently increasing all of the time
But my world could fall apart around me, and I wouldn't blink

Foolishly, I try to tell myself how I've learned from my mistakes
But only on nights like these
4 AM. Alone.
Will I let my mind wander towards my reality

It's nights like these when I can feel true terror
I hate my past, but fear my future
Not because I know where I am headed
But because I have no motivation to change

I have yet to even consider what I might choose as a career
I have absolutely no passions
I don't see myself living beyond 30
But my real fear lies in the fact that I don't care

But in about 8 hours I will wake up, and push it out of my mind
And you and I might sit, making dumb jokes about irrelevant mistakes
And I will tell myself it's fine, I'm fine
And so the cycle continues

I wish I hadn't been here before
I wish I didn't know what you'd say if I told you the truth
I wish there was a chance
But I know all too well

So I keep pretending

The withering flower on the unspoken tree
The queen at her caslte begging on her knees.
The sky is loud and the waters calm
The birds no longer sing happy songs
The animals in the forest no longer explore
There is something slithering that much is for sure
Behind all the shadows in the dead of night
no where to be seen, out of mind out of sight.
children laughing with no thought to fear
but the monster is lurking
He starts to get near
The laughter grows louder it echoes the trees
The branches start shaking, down come the leaves
As the children skip playfully down the long grass road
Not knowing there laughter is selling there soul
The monster gets closer eyes glowing in suspense
The moment is closer his body gets tense.
He looks to his right, he looks to his left
The thoughts put to action Get ready get set
The laughter no longer, the playing has stopped
The voices have siezed, the noise now has dropped
The souls have been lifted then drove into the ground
No more laughter, no more playing around.
No more skipping for fun, no more running for joy
no more warm beds to sleep in, or a favorite toy
once a stupid adventure they not knew to make
Not knowing there lives what was at stake

Love and lust, anger and jealousy
Bliss and sorrow, depression and ecstasy.
Don't you think it's quite unfair that one person can make you feel.
All this feeling- every possible feeling that ever existed in this mad world.
But one thing I love most is that you are my calmness.
That at one point, when I'm a massive ferocious lion, you calmed me down back into the tiny little kitten that I've always been.
The moment I was ready to jump off a cliff, nearing the edge, you pulled me in and turned me around to face you.
When I was breaking down and wanted to give up on everything, you were there.
And everything was fine again.

some days i think
you're a saint, and it's
stupid, because all
you have to do is
smile or refill my coffee
before i can even ask,

but it's more than
anyone else has done,
and if i let it slip
that i'm a little bit
in love,
i wouldn't even be
sorry.