Hardship.
After hardship.
After hardship.
After hardship.

...And why?
"This makes us stronger people,"
My mother always told me
With tears in her eyes

"God knows we need to
Improve something.
He is just giving us an opportunity
To make ourselves better."

And I sort of believe her.
Just a little bit.
Mainly I just think
That life likes to **** on us.

"Oh, your dad got a good job?
Nah, we can't have that.
Lets make it temporary.
This job will last 6 months."

This happens more often than not.
And it's crazy.
I don't know anyone else
Who has it like us.

And I'm not trying to say
That my problems are greater than yours
We all have hardships
They're all just different ones.

Some people have disabilities
Some people are suicidal
Some people abusive lovers, abusive fathers
No, I will not disregard these people

All I'm saying
Is I'm tired of this ****.
It gets real old
Real easily.

And it never seems to end.
Hardship.
After hardship,
After hardship.

I'm going to be quick
about what I need to say;

You always complimenting me,
admiration shows in your eyes

when you look at me

but I hardly ever express how
I feel or think when it comes to you.

Baby this innocence
about you drives me wild,

the child-like look you give
me makes me giggle and smile

you're so sweet, so very endearing.

Papi do you know that
when your talking to me sometimes

I don't even hear what you've said,
since I'm so busy watching your lips

watching your smile...

I get worried a bit frighten sometimes

because I never wish to lose you

can't fathom the
idea of you not being here with me

I go off the handle and
with out thinking I end up hurting you.

I'm too rough round the edges,
to harsh & brash with my words

I honestly forget your not like them.

You've never said one
bad thing to me or
done anything to wrong me,

always dedicated and upfront,
surge-coated but honest in all your doings

so much so
I even have access to your cell phone but,

I must explain.

I know this yet when we argue
over the smallest things

I forget, really I do,
forget the way you hold me so close & tight

especially when I've had a nightmare,

I forget the times you've stayed up
with me because I couldn't sleep.

Yet I can never for the
countless times you've apologized

on bended knees, tears streaming down your face.

Or how about when I've tried to leave,
you'd beg of me to stay, carry me to your room

and just hold me  or rock
even rubbing me  to sleep & wiping my tears away.

Can't forget the way you kiss me
so slow but deep causing my head to become dizzy,

the way you make love to me or how you
just touch me even the slightest bit,

how you'll spend on me and give me everything.

Baby from the moment I saw you and we
walked down the street talking,

I knew you'd be good for me.

Your protective strong and so ****
determined to provide for me

all the things I've been left with out for so long.

I cry sometimes,
because
I'm not sure I can handle
the type of man that you clearly are,

I cry too, because
I worry that one day my PSTD mind will take it to far...

So far I'll lose you,
lose us and all the great things we've become.

But Baby I can't forget the times before you,
the unhappiness- my life once held

the lonely nights and helplessness
that no longer exists.

Your everything to me and a Godsend

because of this plus so much more

I'll do my best to remember but

seriously how can I ever*

Forget!?!


Always Me Ayeshah ®
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