You say I look that way


But let's just say that I'm a good actress

have you ever had those days
when you miss that feeling
of the blade touching your skin
and barely missing a vein?
the excitement you feel
when blood pours out
and the manic grin that
spreads across your face
as the pain subsides?'

i'll be honest,
it is what i have thought about
all day long.
i want the blood
and the pain and the
momental joy.

but, that is all it is.
the feeling flees the second
i am done, the high is gone
and all i am left with is
a ripped up wrist.

hopefully, love isn't the same way.
but, all great addictions usually are.

touching
it seems as if my
fingers want more-
the gasping of air
the act of clenching tighter and tighter
the need to feel something other than
the pain that rests inside
baby, just let it all pour out

don't think about the others
think of what feels right.
is it the lips on your thighs
the fingers that wriggle through your hair
or the eyes that stare deep into your soul?

what about the sweet kisses
that i want to give you
and the flowers and chocolate
or maybe even the looks across the hall that
make you just so excited (you know in what way...)

i'd do anything for you.
but am i really ready to
know someone in that way?

It didn't feel wrong.
Touching you felt like
touching God.
I didn't know something could be so
beautiful and delicate yet
so strong and fierce.
The second I realized this,
I should've stopped
but I couldn't.
Your eyes were closed, you fingers were
rubbing my knee
and I could just tell that
you loved every bit of what was happening.
When I found the spot you loved so much
I needed to keep going.
You would've let me,
but it was the wrong place for
something so beautiful to happen.

Who knew that someone could make me
lose all sense of right and wrong?

All I want is to give you what you deserve and so much more.
Is that something you want?

Michael,
we talked about your wedding today.
you came to me, and enjoyed hearing you
telling me some personal things.
i now know the date of your wedding,
that you are only inviting family,
and that you want my advice on
where to spend your honeymoon.

i miss talking to you everyday,
but... its what needs to happen.
i am slowly falling out of love with you,
but... its what i need to do.

as always,
with love,
r

as cliche as it sounds
it's a lot easier
to be happy
than to be sad.
happiness can be
drinking your favorite tea
or eating your favorite sandwich.
it can be seeing
a familiar face
you might not have seen
in a while
or having your cat
lick your nose
with their sandpaper tongue.
happiness comes in all shapes and sizes,
in all forms of things,
both living and non-living.
however, it's up to you
to find your happiness
in those things.

if I were to kiss you,
would you pull away?
if I were to touch you,
would you do the same?
if I were to love you,
would you love me back?

no amount of poetry could
even amount to the feelings I
have for you.