I pulled out my drawer
and it was full of our memories
My heart was still beating
Its beating for you
And everything became still
I felt your shattering words
New memories became history
These movies became photos
And our love became a distant past
Oh why won't it last
Why won't it last
And I hear my waves come crashing

It was my fault this time
I pushed you away with my words
I've never felt love like yours
So true and refined
Like an old bottle of wine
And now my heart feels like
an unfinished painting
I can't keep on waiting
for this love to come back
So I'll close my drawer
Sealing it up
Boarding it up
Closing it up
I feel my heart break

And now I can't feel you
And now I can't see you
I'll clench my sturdy fist
Squeezing away the pain
Of loss and insanity
Quietness, and tranquillity
Of my heart
Of my heart
It's the start
Of something that is more
Open and close the door
Of my heart
Of my heart
I still miss you

I've changed, I've changed
And my heart, my heart
Is in flames, in flames
Come back, my love
I've changed, I'm the same
I won't lie any more
I won't cry any more
I can't die any more
Don't know why any more
I've gone and lost my way
I dont know what to say
Im lost.


I still feel your lips
Pressing against mine
And I can still feel our hearts
Tightly intertwined,
These wounds are still bleeding,
They will heal in time...
And even though I feel. like this
I'll be fine, I'll be fine
And this time, this time
My heart is heavy and
my knees are weak
And the more of this I speak of
The more it just hurts
So that's just proof
I'll be fine.
With your heart
In mine

I can remember
that there was a time
when I was young
and nothing was real.
Nothing made sense.
Everything was happy,
yet so complex.
So many...
Discoveries.

I've forgotten all these things.
Like an old, damaged film.
Dusty and grainy.
I envision the emotions
The excitement and confusion
Frustration, and discovery
Aromas and sounds of the ocean.
Allergies...

I feel as though,
that I can't remember.
More than I should.
More than I would.
If things had been normal.
I would have felt less.
Maybe remembered more.
More than before.

Bitter-sweet things come,
and are rough around the edges
of the corners of my room.
At this crazy moment
I suddenly realize
the true and healthy path.
The old doesn't matter.
The past is what it is.
And the truth really is,
the meaning is long lost.

I'll tear my sleeves right off my shirt
and shed my fears and loneliness.
My secret trail...
is in my own back yard.
Sacred and peaceful.
Thick and scarred.
A giant padlocked door.
But it's okay,
that's just the way it is.
I will stand strong.
Anything else is just surface rust,
but not enough to fail.
Not enough to sway.

Test my patience for I am invincible.
Stand over me like a dark hollow tree.
My independence astonishes your judgement,
yet your heart grows weary.
Don't push too hard or the ground may crumble beneath your feet.
Your influence was a guiding wind in my life,
but now I'm everlasting.
So don't forget I can climb mountains and swim the oceans,
you have no control.
For I am my own keeper and you..
Eternally forgotten.

For you it may mean nothing,
but to me it means everything.
For you it may mean death,
but for me it means life.
For you it may be the smallest thing,
but for me its the biggest.
Don't doubt me.
Don't hate me.
I know what is right,
but you've got it all wrong.
Live.
Life.
Love.
Prosper.
Smile.

These hands.
These rough and eager hands.
They've hurt enough.
They've done enough.
Its about time to cut them off.
These hands.
These old and rusty hands.
Have compiled a list of duties.
And helped thousands of people.
Those eyes.
Those cold and dusty eyes.
They see right through me
and reveal this empty person.
How honest can you be?
I don't really know,
And I don't truly care.
But there is something
you should know.
Its that I don't feel
or give a ****.
Beware.

I take a breath, and hold it in.
I feel the pressure deep within.
I feel my heart, it loudly screams your voice.
It's not my fault, not wasn't even my choice
This dream its lucid, it makes me realize.
My perspective is twisted, seen through clouded eyes.
Pull the slivers, they feel deep.
The memories are painful, they make me weep.
My mind is bleeding, thoughts gush out.
They hurt me so much, that I could shout.
The rain on my face, rinses my soul.
The stain left over, swallow me whole.
Then I fall down, right to the ground.
My clock isn't ticking, it needs to be wound.
Knees all ******, pants are torn.
My heart is in tangles, cluttered and worn.
My heads down so low, I think I give in.
My head feels so heavy, I can't ever win.
All goes quiet except my breathing.
I'm okay I swear, my heart is bleeding.
Everything goes black, quiet, and still.
I know I can do this, without this stupid pill.
So I'll rise up, grow up, raise my head up high.
Laugh, smile, breath, and be a happy guy.
With moments of weakness, comes great power.
The light of the sun, in it I will shower.

Mother, why are you fading here?
Why are you begging fear
To bother everyone that is near?
So stop waiting to disappear.

I puncture every pain I have.
You smother every day that I have
Oh Father, catch me when I fall
And I finally ended the call.

Oh yeah...I ended the call.
Oh yeah... ended the call.
Oh no...ended the call.
Oh no...

I've never cried so much in my life.
I've never tried to keep myself alive
And bleed, bleed, bleed the pain away.
You keep, keep, keep him far away.

A child continues to play along,
Smile boy why don't you play a song
With your toy-box open for all to see.
Won't you ever, please forgive me?

Oh ya..please for give me.
Oh ya..Please forgive me.
Oh no...You won't forgive me.
Oh no.. you won't forgive..

Oh Mother, don't you be afraid.
This is how our dreams are made.
Soon you'll see it upon my face.
So just do this at your own pace.

And nothing ever will be erased.
And you can never ever be replaced.
And I will stay here until the day you .
Finally see the expression on your face..

Oh yeah...expression on your face..
Oh yeah..expression on your face..
Oh no...what you need to face.
Oh no.. you're turning me away.

Mother, what are you doing here?
Why won't you go and face your fears?
Why are you never leaving here?
Still waiting to disappear.

Why can't I ever close the door?
Why am I still begging you for more
Of this pain that no one could ignore?
I see you laying quiet on the floor.

Oh no...I see you on the floor.
Oh no..I see you on the floor.
Oh no..stop begging him for more.
Oh yeah...I finally closed the door.

Finally closed the door.
Finally closed the door.
There's nothing I needed more.
Than to close that heavy door.