how important are you to me i really am shocked i feel something like this horrid thought of being abandoned again.

My life has been miserable in this new place until i met you you brought some light to this dark heart

I realize i am crazy i realize i am not the usual person people would see the light in their life

How are you important you listen to me you dont ignore me when i need someone to talk to

I am not gonna say your the one well because i honestly dont know i said that so much to be honest and i been wrong so not gonna risk that  but your importance keeps me sane your eyes fill me with light to my black black heart

How many times do you need to fall down before the realization of what your gut feeling is

How many times do being a failure affect you?  why is it that you clamor not to be alone.

I ask myself that over and over again why do i doubt when i should be trying not giving up which i don't

Falling down is fine when its your fault but when its because some Idiot of some kind decides to stay involved and steal everything you have

Fine steal from me  i dont mind because i do not have much to be honest what can i lose at this point  seriously i am not a idiot

i been called many things but i rather be hated for who i am then liked for what i am not  and as far as i am concerned

I am not alone i tons of Partners in crime ready to strike but really i dont need help  all i need is for You to fall down you feel broken i been broken for years never healed fully every time i am about to heal its scars to a bigger mess than before

But strength is gained Not from working out not for being a complete jack *** either but growing up falling down making mistakes and trust this  envious being i am not standing down from any thing or anyone if i want something i just plainly not take no not a theif but should i say i strike when my time is right

I dream of Returning to my Real home a home i miss the rain it reminds me of all the things i overcame

I stand in the Rain in a place they call full of sun and chances what have i got here so far a few friends not

many and  i honestly wonder if i made a choice i regret i have Dream't of returning home and finishing

things up  a Dream what is a dream i have two dreams i know what they are and i will achieve at least one

Hope i wont hope I will return stronger better bigger i learned leaving to avoid a problem is not the answer.

The one way to solve it is confront it Head on  sure i found something that brings me a smile here but it

brings back a feeling i struggle to control the thoughts of home i return i beckon to live my dreams i

Made a promise to thyself that no matter what i Love is could be here but i know i have something i

cherish family.   i wonder if i never left  i wonder if i stayed i am not backing down no more i am gonna

solve my problems head on until the wall in front of me for years is gone  i beat down once i can do it again

Whem you see a obstacle you can wait for it to go or do something drastic the fact  that someone like was born with a crap hand does not mean something great can happen  truth is I can hide and watch and wait but I choose to live and overcome that obstacle a Prievous year I had  a flaw of love lorn as I will always care for her but I may found something so I thought I was hurt I radiated disappointment in my  eyes but hey I like a challenge  I may have  become that guy who's a loner a guy who isolates himself from others but I tell you something  what I want  I will get this time what's gonna stop me a another fellow a judgemental authority figure  all I have to say is obstacles are meant to be smashed

i Call myself crazy i Call myself a idiot for what because i open up to people to easy

Is that something i can control? Is affection ,love or infatuation natural.,

I call myself crazy well because i am crazy for good reasons  very good reasons the fact is one can fail and doubt themselves so long


Call me crazy call me a idiot but i am not gonna throw this second chance at something fresh and  Beautiful away i patiently wait for a connection to hit before the crazy boy who has always wanted someone in his life is now matured and knows what he needs most importantly

the fear of getting close to others the fear of ******* up another chance

How my past has lived with me like  childhood toy that was not used for years after their  child grew up

My heart has been confusing shocking dismaying contiversaial the situations i been in have been a experience this time as beautiful as

she is i wont  be reluctant i patiently wait to see a conclusion  prepare to take risks for somethings not everything i say

i conceal a feeling that resides in my  scarred up heart.     like a living  with a open wound i carried what i thought could happen with me for a thousand of miles..

I now see myself figuring out   what is this lie i am living i am concealing for a good reason for a good cause.

I want happiness if  the heart is not getting what the heart wants it wither up and die alongside your humanity

I conceal this feeling because i have not gave up but  i will prove that i can live with this feeling controlled heck i  am willing to try out some thing new something different its time i opened up to new people explored the world a little more hey maybe you see the light at the end of the tunnel like i did but since clearly you can not see the light well i am sorry but until that happens i will have to explore a new world beyond waiting for a chance that might not happen