18 years ago i entered a harsh world with   a little off from the others i had a flaw,

now you look at me like how did he stay at our level knowing he is a not as strong and quick ,

Well i am  something of a living example of anything can happen i overcome so much,

I tasted defeat i suffered through hard times, had my heart stomped on more times then i could remember,

But through it all i have grown and i am now better and unchanged by the higher ups trying to change me ,

I stand over the ledge called life knowing what  i want  i don't want object thats i ignore i do not want a **** load of money either i want is a simple i want to be doing what i love  be the guy for certain somebody at most of all prove that i can do things people said i could never do

a heart who's been torn to pieces  may close its doors for good reason

They may be tired of ones manipulation and change of mind like a picky son of a gun

when you could have something you can trust and not a liar  who tells you false truths about him

well why dont you come and tell him who did this so he can face man to man liar against the a honest man

He expose you like the fraud you are

all my failures i accept the false confidence  others have given me has a effect on my choices

A fresh start might be what i need because now i realized the hearts fickle and it can change in a instant

But when you have friends that care about you when you have family in two places

A fresh start might not be the best because its walking away from the the hardships that made me stronger

yes i care a lot about others but  coming from my point is i need something that can not give false hope i need    something thats there not a fake

Because the new me is not worried about anything but  proving everybody wrong

A new dawn is upon us  a Man with revenge on his mind is coming  for every person who held him down

Will they see it coming no because they do not know what he is capable of doing to get his dark dark revenge

Is he a puppet of the darkness , is he the true anti hero someone needs good questions by all who have faith

But faith wont save them because this guy will  not forgive or forget

Authority is like someone trying to control your life

The poison of being  having limited influence over somebody

Authority is like a Nasty Virus that you have to remove with hard labor

Authority is a Nuisance  that always come back to rear its ugly head

Authority Is a good and has its dark flaws  sometimes their orders you just want to escape them but sometimes its the right thing to do

why do you bicker why do you ruin my life well just bring it  ruin yours.

i use my skill with words all you can do is complain i make you look like the fool who thinks he can bring people down.

ok whatever i just join the fight for homeowner independance   why wait to get out when i can end their group.

I vow to fight for this harder than i fought to to make her stay last year she walked away i can be put down  beat down but i get right back up   so your british didn"t your people remember you held us back we came back stronger.
i am coming for this i fight i show you that don't mess with best

i learned basking in the emotion one calls fear  created problems

Now i live in one other emotion that makes me happy with my significant other

i no longer choose to live in fear i chose to live with love and being grateful i have something in my life

peace binds two entity's conflicts shut.

ones troubles go away  with the game of chance.

Peace has finally hit me i am free from the chains held down by the so called higher being.

i attained the gift with years of hard work i found the one person i was wanting to have in my life.

Serene sky's bind peace with the higher beings for  a length of time i  enjoy my melancholy free life while it lasts.

Bitterness eats at me like flesh eating bug chewing at my true self

Those various moments i regret i wish i could take back i must stop the darkness from taking over.

the darkness tells me its ok to do the wrong thing well darknesss go **** yourself.

You can be right once in a while but you take it to far excuse my language this dark time stays  over my head.

I live a lie in reality i just want her to cut the chain first so i am free  and that one Person i once cared for who is treating his son a terrible childhood.

I have my reasons to be this way you see i try to forget by doing so i became the person i didnt want be again. the ******* who is bitter over everything i am trying to get back to normal but its gonna be a uphill battle.

The war ends with everything is normal and no chains attached to my heart.

Broken side walks Tell a story of a man who has been chasing something that he never could attain 

Sunlight gives false hope he has little hops left 

Not willing to surrender  as a dark cloud is in my heart 
I carry a weight a dilemma that has mixed results 

Should I surrender the love I have for a year for a risk 
Or should I keep it and fight for it  I walk the broken side walk like its the broken road I walked for years

i Call myself crazy i Call myself a idiot for what because i open up to people to easy

Is that something i can control? Is affection ,love or infatuation natural.,

I call myself crazy well because i am crazy for good reasons  very good reasons the fact is one can fail and doubt themselves so long


Call me crazy call me a idiot but i am not gonna throw this second chance at something fresh and  Beautiful away i patiently wait for a connection to hit before the crazy boy who has always wanted someone in his life is now matured and knows what he needs most importantly

she tells me all these things but it turns out that she  is talking that way to other guys
she says i am the only one  but i saw things that prove that she has been that way towards others
i know she is hiding it and playing innocent  her innocence  is a lie i was foolish i saw them together walking i did not think much of it but then i  saw something that proved that i could i feel like i got rid of that one thing that brought the darkside out.

I showed my secret that i was hiding  i realized what i was doing.

The fact is that the restrictions came down upon her but whatever because that means more effort

a challenge to my true feelings  i let you know because either way i will get there and it takes a a lot

more work well i help because i am not giving up the last good thing in my life

Circumstance always ******* me in the worst ways.  i lost the girl of my dreams  i  nearly thought that my existence don't matter .   but it does and when i go away those circumstances can *******. yes my heart is shattered i want to just throw it out but i know something will come along to fix it....

Completion a feeling we all long for But ****** i finally after years of fighting i get over a girl i never thought i stop loving. and then what happens i get hit in the face because something turned out that   the one piece that actually seemed to be in the background the problem is its not gonna happen for a while and ****** it ***** and knowing     i  wish i could cut this away but what if something was there what if would i be throwing away that one shot at happiness. my gut says no because shes such a good friend but what can i do for completion must i take a risk i never been able to take before,..    i wish it was me  i wish i was that guy but i am not i am just the guy who makes sure everythings alright if shes happy without me Fine i am used to it as long as shes happy  . i wish i could never love i wish i could cut this feeling away its eating at my soul and i am suffocating .  i want to be complete but lets be honest the higher ups don't like me .

i conceal a feeling that resides in my  scarred up heart.     like a living  with a open wound i carried what i thought could happen with me for a thousand of miles..

I now see myself figuring out   what is this lie i am living i am concealing for a good reason for a good cause.

I want happiness if  the heart is not getting what the heart wants it wither up and die alongside your humanity

I conceal this feeling because i have not gave up but  i will prove that i can live with this feeling controlled heck i  am willing to try out some thing new something different its time i opened up to new people explored the world a little more hey maybe you see the light at the end of the tunnel like i did but since clearly you can not see the light well i am sorry but until that happens i will have to explore a new world beyond waiting for a chance that might not happen

why do i have to be subjected to this treatment

why does one do this to me to have something taken away from you

its like a championship boxer losing his dream to compete i fight to fix everything

i am saddened yes but guess what i am been through this before i cant be broken

i fight for everything to be back to normal first a friend freaks out on me then a loved one falls to the dark vices of society what the ****
is this bad karma from the higher up well that higher up ******* i am right here  you want to **** me?

the love i once gave well i close it i worry about me and only me thats all i want to be alone away from this ******* emotion

i maybe confused you don't know you might as well quit while your ahead

prove your worth because i am not worried i had so many things happen to me in one freaking week

well i am stronger and better overall well i was staying above the water then a hurricane ******* down to the sharp rocks

how can you move on after your loved ones lives end by the tip of a weapon of mass destruction?

how does one  **** children that have their whole lives to grow i don't understand how some people do acts of evil.

the valiant heros who fought for their students in their school  thats who we should be.

the steel 'the carbon the ' bullet of destruction is that to blame?

people blame Guns in reality there not so violent until someone uses it for satanic purposes

i pity who survived the massacre of souls there healing will be in effect death is natural it all depends on how we die.

am i regaining my courage i am finally showing following hearts true intentions

Taken well all that is a challenge really  am i doing what i had held back because of prior attachment issues  well you see you say i am done being your average nice guy who waited for people to realize that i am not to be ignored and be considered

Courage to stand up to the system to stand for a**holes who think they can get away with being the one taken some one chance a way well i see you cant hope you got to take what the heart wants and if it costs you oh well your following your heart

To be honest i was nervous introducing myself to her but i did because well i was a lone i was curious i had honored my past love but  i dwelling never worked i want something real not one sided

Courage makes me feel alive your smile makes me feel alive it could be me but i honestly can think you and i in a sentence in my mind that fits that is crazy that a chance is there in the dark place i live in i never thought i could reach a light

Theres two things i want my dream  and a good life but can you have both.

considering my life is rigid like the rocks on a cliff jagged a person above it.

I been through a lot  parental issues seeing loved ones taken over by a demon i can name it all.

you see my strength my drive my will to move on in life could lead me places or be stuck in the bitterness in my heart.

i Climb the ladder and take a  contract to achieve my dream they  may call me a yardtard but you see theres something you see  misery loves  company.

A dark thought carries like a spider replicating itself  This dark though i carry....

Embracing the darkness to get what you want sure you get what you want FINALLY but in reality theres a cost  Humanity lost, looking like a total a**hole , becoming what you do not want to become  this darkness i should not embrace is jealousy because when i am jealous i am crazy i am not me its like a demon has taken my body to commit certain  horrors upon Humanity   Embracing the darkness gets you to your dreams and goals but at the same time the you give up everything else to attain that goal  which i won't do i will take the high road to see her again i will not stop and i will do it the right way but being a man and confronting this feeling head on and any man gets in my way   just to say  i can control the darkness inside of me and wont change me because when i use it two men will enter but one man will be left

You all my heart wants

I think of you like crazy i see the rain its beauty its nothing compared to you

your my Everything i will return one day

i dream of returning to see you to bring light to this dark soul

I realized that your my everything  i need nothing else i wait years forever  for you to see the way i do

falling down i fell down a chasm hit the ground felt like a thousand needles impaling my heart

falling down i realized why have i always looked for the next best thing i realized

something the thing i always wanted has always been in my life a friend told me a piece

of my own advice its never out there its always under your nose **** she was right

to see the answer you got to hit rock bottom multiple times again and again again

and again and again and again because i see it now i don't need someone who

discards me when they are to stubborn or just don't care  i know what i need no one

else  can stop this feeling like a wild fire of emotions i feel like i am a lowly peasant

basking at a window with all their dreams right there in front of them  just not being

able to grab it.   falling down took me to realize the truth i love being there i love every second of basking in happiness instead of sadness and regret do i regret not fessing up absolutely but i really honestly love every second of this  i am so done being a lone wolf  my heart needs is a pack of two  and i wait every single day till the one i am loved back

How many times do you need to fall down before the realization of what your gut feeling is

How many times do being a failure affect you?  why is it that you clamor not to be alone.

I ask myself that over and over again why do i doubt when i should be trying not giving up which i don't

Falling down is fine when its your fault but when its because some Idiot of some kind decides to stay involved and steal everything you have

Fine steal from me  i dont mind because i do not have much to be honest what can i lose at this point  seriously i am not a idiot

i been called many things but i rather be hated for who i am then liked for what i am not  and as far as i am concerned

I am not alone i tons of Partners in crime ready to strike but really i dont need help  all i need is for You to fall down you feel broken i been broken for years never healed fully every time i am about to heal its scars to a bigger mess than before

But strength is gained Not from working out not for being a complete jack *** either but growing up falling down making mistakes and trust this  envious being i am not standing down from any thing or anyone if i want something i just plainly not take no not a theif but should i say i strike when my time is right

a heartbreaker walks  down the road with her thoughts gone just the devils minion.

a man vows to fix this false state of mind of hers i doubt he get his reason from her though

he has been ruined by a mystery person with a gender unknown  hes not sure if he has to take matters into his own hands or not

he wants to know if there was the same reason as before knowing someone is out to get him

Whoever you are i will find you and i will get my hands on you i want you to show yourself  i wont hurt you unless i  you deserve it

why question you deserve it either way!

the fear of living with a burden on my chest

the fear of me becoming something i am not troubles me

the mistakes i could make can effect my life

my old self could return i fight my demons everyday of my life and i win!

Fear is that one emotion you can love and hate because living life by taking risks is the only way you can get anywhere

I have to fight to stay in my home town  because i have something good finally and now i have to

walk away and let my place be taken from me that wont happen i promise that i will be the last  one
standing because family does not go behind your back to control you

I will fight because you want to take me and be your little puppet for a long time but you see because this plague in my brain does not mean i am stupid and cant fend for myself

This moment will prove why I should Be IT instead of being the guy everyone knows that is forever alone.
But you see i am not IT nor forever alone and i am no ****** who cant change himself either you see there are people to and as far as i am concerned family would not do this   so Game on *******

what happens to friendship when some outside  power comes in  trying to **** it
you see your my best friend but i need to tell from this dark place is you gave everything away for nothing

and you had the nerve that i would do the same thing no i prefer my friends than my **** buddy excuse my language

you see dont come crying to me when your down on the ground  because i just say it was your fault

you always will be my best friend but once again your making  a mistake  so good luck with that pyscho because for now i walk alone

i can tell my best friend has changed because of  his denial.
as far as i am concerned i am happy this happened because i really care for her
you see he should own up because far as i am concerned he is the reason that she is broken
and i am willing to bring her up back to herself and she in the process is bringing my life to good things.
as i watch a friend change a great friend who tells me what he thinks.
as you change i will be always your best friend but   i i am not picking your side because of that as far as am concerned you try anything else i am gonna get you back  for not me for her spirit because she  is all i need so even if i have to fight someone i had their back you may be in pain now i be there but dont mess with her again or i tell you straight up    you stop or i might have knock some sense back into you i miss the old you

I am sick of tired of losing to a ****** who thinks he can ,pick on kids who have issues take whoever they want from others  I was Robbed and oh boy i have not been this angry for a while and my vengence is always sweet not bitter

You see all you have to do is make one mistake i catch oh your done

because i vow to ruin it taint it and after that **** this **** i am going to hide in my cave until SHE wants to make a right choice

she asked me why i am not letting her back in my life
its simple who likes a piece of trash ruining your life.
seriously to admit she snuck behind my back and then deny it what a twit.
the heart refuses the beast that is not the most brightest thing on this planet
i may be a jealous ******* but you see i cared for her well being and she throws all of this lies about change of character in me. i changed really i am the same guys who made mistakes and cares for the people i love.
in my thoughts if felt bad at first then i savored it and burnt the memory's away i  say good bye good riddance.

The feelings of others are up then down my heart follows

what i want  and what i care for i don't have a choice if i had a choice i would wait

But since the heartache attacks me like a disease i hope your happy  but i suffer from heartache

well i 'll heal from heartache always sure i never had it leave my system time for a change

for this ache to go away i'll need you to help me to live life to the fullest i would give everything up to change your mind

I walk down the heartbreak road just wondering what is that what he have that i dont

I stumble across the memory the first time i saw you looking at me which gave me hope that i am no longer alone

I walk down the road again with regret why does this happen to me i see the pain cuts my heart slowly.

i gaze  across  at the sight of those blood red flowers knowing that someone else but i hope for is

that you do not see him that way.    because this heartbreak i feel i know i might be going crazy you see
i realized that caring for someone is not enough you have to sugar coat it like a spoiled child

Sorry but you see this road i walk down i suffer and will hit redemption road and i will find this dude.

I say why doesn't he step in my comfort zone and i dream of knocking him out but you see that would be to rude

Because EVER since i layed my eyes  i wanted to know what  go's on in that pretty head of hers

and i see a great person that i want to be with so what i dont fit this bill i could care LESS because you do not have to suffer from a disabilty you dont have to suffer from being always broken you don't have to suffer from a ruined child hood  and you do not have to suffer from being a victim to a horrible crime!  you see i had the odds stacked against me and guess what game on mother F*CKER this is war

hidden feelings i feel this way for someone honestly i should not morally be in love with

i hide my feelings hoping one day i can unleash them onto this world

hidden feelings that drive me mad in my dreams we are together more ways then one

my hidden feelings feel in my heart because i want to be with her but i just can't risk my

friendship she means that much to me  but i am the one who will not be the one because no matter what  i be there

how can one hide things from their oldest and treat them like a freaking child".

i am almost seventeen and am not treated right and clearly i am done with it."

well she does not know many things about me either i guess you want to know be honest or burn in the fiery depths of hell."  i dont want hiding i want control of my life  my money i do whatever i want with it.
its america not freaking china"  so theres a legal adult age well if thats a case holding back because i am bad with money". well time to start a revoltioution to end this blasphemy.

the fear of getting close to others the fear of ******* up another chance

How my past has lived with me like  childhood toy that was not used for years after their  child grew up

My heart has been confusing shocking dismaying contiversaial the situations i been in have been a experience this time as beautiful as

she is i wont  be reluctant i patiently wait to see a conclusion  prepare to take risks for somethings not everything i say

i was happy i thought she loved me but she liked someone else it tears me to pieces knowing it.
but far as i am concerned he does anything to hurt her i will ******* tear his heart out
you know what that wont stop me that motivate me to try harder
i may be in tears and destroyed but i am coming for that *******  and believe me  its a fight
you see i been smashed the last time you see i am coming and there one word there is one phrase run why you still can

how important are you to me i really am shocked i feel something like this horrid thought of being abandoned again.

My life has been miserable in this new place until i met you you brought some light to this dark heart

I realize i am crazy i realize i am not the usual person people would see the light in their life

How are you important you listen to me you dont ignore me when i need someone to talk to

I am not gonna say your the one well because i honestly dont know i said that so much to be honest and i been wrong so not gonna risk that  but your importance keeps me sane your eyes fill me with light to my black black heart

I stare at my future i realize being there is what  makes others lives great but you kinda wonder why is my advice working for them and not me?

I never really figured it out i always get  i am there hero for there situation not anymore because  i am no

longer working to make others future great  i am working for two things to make my life great

and the second thing is to Find that ONE chance i do not care if i have to jump road blocks i do that all

the time   this one because for everyone who just loves to criticize and walk away  

theres a diffrent there one of the reasons why i am leaving because i am no longer the hero nor villain i

am no longer  trying to find  something in my home town because two things will happen i will get what i want and two the people who played me are gonna miss me being there

you see dont trust me because i dont care  the fact is you dont know what know

I know you have someone else well he can have you because as far as i am concerned i moved on

and i got over it because i am the better  man  and i will prove it because i am moving on   and by the way  

im over the false confidence you gave me you acted like you gave a **** then you throw it to the ground for some piece of  Sh*T    
i am done and i am over it

This darkness that plagues my heart carries me to a thought of despair no matter what I can't stay happy I have done things I am not proud of i lived a lie and this darkness has made me not myself for me to fight this out I have to walk alone once again because it's about **** time  I got something in return because when I return the place of my birth I will do everything in my power to make sure all opposition falls one by one because this darkness that has consumed me I will use it and I will channel it and when I finally have a chance I will take it even it kills me in the process I will have The girl of my dreams one day I hope but I will have to take down every road block first comes competition then the blood line and after it is all said and done I will finally succeed failure is not a option

I never thought i end up falling in love with  a person that i known for a while.    

  never ever in a million years i thought  feel this way again.     I never thought  could care so much that not having her in my life sounds like hell.  i have this feeling that i know that when i sense the spark hit theres no coming from it.  Those eyes Light me up more then you ever know  i got my courage back to follow my heart.  i never thought it be you and don't matter to me anymore how i end up one day i will finally tell how i feel again.

i am insecure about losing things i lost friends  because i followed my heart  and when  i

have chances to make something good i just squander it  every time  being in love has

been hard for me because every time i am never the guy  i am just used  for them to get

back at their former relationship  a war is  always struggling inside of me because i want

to confess my hearts true feelings just don't want to ruin what i got already

call me insecure i just care to much to ruin something already great in my life

that flaw i have foreseen has done more harm than good

i am very sorry if that was the case you see when you choose to live by your heart you bound to do something stupid

Yeah its a flaw that   has a effect in the emotion of Love friendship you name it has killed family bonds

you see yes i can be jealous yeah its so painful when you know you want or love whatever your case is that you can not attain it
the fact that i can not control how i feel is a nuisance because if it was my choice i would never let myself fall for someone unless i knew i had a chance

Yeah this jealous flaw can make or break me it has done harm yes but you see  being the nice guy with jealousy does not mix it changes you to a bitter raving lunatic with borderline lack of sanity
i carry this flaw and i fight it and i hope it does not ruin this chance  i may have

17 years ago a struggle started to find within what  i have been missing   you see i been missing  a lot of things

The fact is that here i am not the guy  for anything ''

I am not who the person who is typically someone that is treated with respect

Not many people believed in me

Well those 17 years of anguish hard work failure   come to a ahed because  i wanted at first was to hurt anyone who ruined my life but i decided on this

You took something that took me 17 years to attempt     its simple i use my superior intelect to take what i need in my life

The little bug talks and moves about like hes  the size of his older brother
when the little bug sees his older brother he pops a smile at his brother has a broken spirit
he brightens up the world like the sun blossoms midday.
as the older brother is trying  search for himself to be back to normal
little bug hangs out with his big brother he can tell that he is happy to be around him
but the small bug  grows he can tell if somethings wrong and will try to be a great bug and fix it

love is just the emotion that drives everything many ways the right away and the wrong away.

If you love something or someone you fight for it even if you fail

But when i finally succeed something Messed up happens

i might have ******* up but WERE all human  i fight for her

Dear home wreckers its my life stay the **** out i am right here say it to my face

Love is the emotion that drives people to ****   love drives you to do the right thing its unpredictiablilty is

like the sociopaths mind you never know what he might do next

I am not one i am a kind gentle soul who makes plenty of mistakes with love driven mind set thats the

old me the new worries about my being not anyone elses.

how does one  manipulate others   how does one  manipulate each other i dont get it.
this world was at peace then  random one pokes at them until a ****** war starts.
you may be the biggest ****** for it but you can cry and moan and ***** because you recieved a beating that you started  i say your manipulation   will be your down fall you can tell your mom your dad hell call the cops  because    theres one option in mind shut the hell up and fight what you started jesus   these people are the  biggest hypocrites  i ever seen   because this one person has ruined my life ever since he was born so when your falling off a cliff you can fall to the rocks   like a the little coward you are  your pestilence smells like   a rotten apple core

her stare her voice so sweet

last year i remembered we talked we poured our hearts out

i was a great friend to you but all you did in the end was walk away

because i truly loved you at the time i didnt make my move when we hung out

well i moved on i said good bye to you i no longer do but those memorys made me who i am today

one day we can be friends again whenever but right now you dont want to even try so whats the point

now i walk the line of the nice guys who failed but this war does not involve you it didn't have to end with silence one day i want answers to finally to learn the ways of a crazy year gone wrong